Ignition
by BerLina
Summary: When Beckett and Castle finally kiss, they can't deny their attraction anymore. Beckett tries anyway. They have to somehow figure out their personal issues while trying to solve murders as usual. 3rd season AU Caskett fluff. Some Esplanie too. Enjoy!
1. Ignition

"Ouch!" he flinched in mock pain. "I knew you were cold-hearted, detective, but that's just plain cruel."  
Kate cocked an eyebrow at him. "Did I hurt the Great Rick Castle?"

She didn't wait for an answer but simply rushed past him towards his living room in order to hide the smile that was spreading on her face. He grabbed her sleeve and playfully yanked her back.

"Oh no! You do not get to walk out on me after saying such a thing!"

She could have had him pinned to the dark wooden floor by now, but instead she let him draw her back to where he was standing. The expression on his face, mere inches from hers, oddly intrigued her. He looked seriously hurt. Maybe he really did inherit some of those infamous acting genes.

"Aww that's cute, Castle. Somebody kick your puppy?" she teased. Castle pouted.

"I can survive 'childish', 'annoying', even 'egotistical', but…really?"

She laughed at that, remembering the day she'd told Lanie that he was, in fact, all of those things.  
On a whim she put her hands on his shirtfront to slightly urge him backwards.

"You, Mr. Castle" she said, punctuating each word by pushing his chest, slowly backing him up until he was pressed against his desk, "are putting up all this fuss…" She paused dramatically. "because I called you _boring_?"

She was doing her best to contain her grin, but apparently he didn't think it was all that funny.

"I am an AUTHOR!" he exclaimed and clutched her upper arms for good measure. "An entertainer!" he said and lightly shook her. "If I'm not exciting, I should at least be interesting or amusing, but _boring_, that's just so…sad" he concluded and looked at her with those big puppy eyes.

It was then that she became aware of their proximity, of her hands still plastered to his chest and his grip on her arms.  
Something changed as her gaze flickered for a short moment to his lips and back up to his blue eyes. Unfortunately, he didn't miss it. He saw her green eyes darken for only a split second and warmth spread through him at the uncommon sight of a flustered Beckett.

"You don't really think I'm boring, do you?" he asked in a low murmur that sent shivers down her spine.

"I…" she stuttered, her face the magnetizing color of rose petals. He used his hands that were still grasping her to slowly draw her closer.

"You…" she started again and unwillingly leaned into him.

There they were, backed against Castle's office desk. She wanted to speak, but she felt his heart pounding under her hands and the sensation made hers beat double-time. She trembled when the light autumn breeze carried his masculine scent to her through his office window. She was at a loss. Of words. Of clear thoughts. As innocuous as this had started, it surely seemed to turn into…a nightmare? A dream come true?

Kate didn't know. Didn't want to know, simply wanted to feel and revel in the exquisite pleasure of being held by him.

When his lips connected with hers, she didn't reach for her gun. Instead she closed her eyes to better savor the feeling. His kiss was soft at first, so tender that she felt herself melting away. She opened her mouth as an invitation he loved to accept and clung to him in anticipation of what was to come. He moaned softly as her sweet taste overwhelmed him. Under his hands she had turned to liquid.

Castle gently ran his hands up and down her upper arms, longing to feel her skin beneath him, pressing her into him until everything else faded into the background. Never had he experienced anything like her lips roaming over his and their tongues languidly mingling.

Kate's hands had just started drawing intricate patterns on his chest when the ring of a cell phone effectively burst their bubble. They jumped apart at the sudden reminder of the real world – Kate looking shocked and horrified to death while Rick just wove his fingers through his hair and cleared his throat.

Nobody made a move for the phone.

Kate felt uneasy as Rick stared at her, knowing that her cheeks were flushed and her lips were swollen. The cell phone kept on ringing but neither cared. Rick reached out and tenderly caressed her cheek. It felt sweeter and even more intimate than their kiss. It was too much.

Kate drew away, finally dropping her gaze to the floor. The phone stopped ringing and the sudden silence felt more than just a bit awkward. Rick shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked back on his heels.

"Kate, I'm sorry, I…" he started, but stopped immediately when she flashed her eyes up to stare him down. Her green eyes were determined and clear, without a trace of the clouds that had been there just seconds ago.

"It's okay" she said, her voice steady as if nothing had happened, as if she could still hear herself over the jungle drums of her heart.  
"We both know it was a mistake" she added coldly and turned around to swiftly walk out of his study and straight to his front door.

To him, it felt as if she was running out his life as well. When he heard the door close behind her, he settled himself against his desk and sighed.


	2. Lambent Thoughts

**Note:**_ I totally forgot to leave an author's note on the last chapter to welcome you to this fan fiction! Welcome! :)_

_I hope you liked it so far and will continue to like it after reading the next (awfully short) chapter. I'm really sorry I didn't write more but it just wouldn't work out the way I'd like it to._

_Please be so kind and leave a comment, preferably one with constructive criticism included. They are all very much appreciated. It's what convinces me to keep writing and adding a nice new chapter every once in a while. _

_Everybody who has read this so far, favorited (is that a word?) or reviewed: Thank you very, very much. I love y'all. Come grab a cookie. ;D_

_Now please enjoy!^^_

* * *

While Rick probably either sulked in his study or already bragged about her to his writer pals, Kate Beckett's mind went a mile a minute as she walked down the alley to her apartment.

She had known this was going to happen. She had known from that first glance he'd given her that fateful day almost three years ago. Pen in hand, childish gleam in his handsome eyes. Asking her where she wanted her autograph.  
Of course then she hadn't expected to ever come so close to the Great Rick Castle, white whale of NY's high society, her favorite author and possibly secret (or not so secret) hero.

When she'd laid eyes on him, confronting him as a cop and not as a fan girl like she once had before, she'd known immediately that she wouldn't be able to resist him. It had quickly become clear that he wanted her, too. He had never tried to hide it. But she wouldn't be one of his conquests, so she'd ignored him as best as she could. She hadn't anticipated annoyance and suppressed lust to turn into friendship. But as friendship had grown, she thought she'd battled down her more intimate feelings. She knew as much as it was inevitable for the two of them to _get_ together some day, it was also clear that they would never ever _stay_ with each other for much longer than a night or two.

She hadn't expected that realization to hurt this much. It shouldn't, really.

But she hadn't been prepared for it, hadn't prepared for the intensity of her feelings at his touch. They overwhelmed her beneath his fierce hands. Hell, she could still taste him on her tongue and it made her weak in the knees. The worst of all was that she had never thought that as much as her body had responded vividly and uncontrollably to his lips, her mind would as well.  
It had struck her like a bolt of lightning when his lips had moved to cover hers.

Kate shook her head at her own thoughts when she swiftly made her way up to her apartment. Her hand was shaking a little when she inserted the key into her door lock and she hated herself for it, hated the fact that this _damned_ Richard Castle could have such an effect on her. She let herself in and closed the door behind her, leaning against it with an unsuppressed sigh.

She slowly moved her fingers up to her mouth, lingering over the evidence their encounter had left. Their first kiss hadn't been at all what she had thought it would be. She had expected it to be passionate and fast but instead it had been so… so terrifyingly slow. It had sucked her in, body, mind and heart, and that was exactly what scared her so much. She couldn't risk heartbreak. But she also couldn't deny her feelings anymore. She was angry at herself for even _having_ those feelings for him.

But Kate Beckett had tasted a piece of heaven and it hurt like hell to let that go.

* * *

At the other side of town, Rick Castle wasn't exactly sulking. He wasn't bragging to anyone, either. Kate Beckett was far too important to him for him to treat her like one of his "conquests", of which he'd had less and less in the last three years. As he settled onto his couch, waiting for Alexis to return from her date with Ashley, he wondered whether the detective knew that it was all because of her.

He hadn't thought this would ever happen. He'd hoped for it, that's for sure, but he'd stopped actually expecting it. When it had suddenly happened, when their lips eventually had met, he hadn't been prepared.

He'd never hidden his attraction for her, his affection. Their teasing and flirting had kept on through the years, stopping only twice - after the times he'd hurt her. Both inadvertently, but still. He knew he'd hurt her badly. They'd made up for it. In the last months, they'd returned to their banter, their teasing, their normal.

Now, that thing that had just happened, that kiss that still coursed through his blood - that was certainly not their normal.

And he would never have pegged her as being so tender.

It was a fascinating new aspect of her. Another layer of the Beckett onion. In a way, it didn't go together with the Nikki Heat image he'd had of her. It wasn't Detective Beckett, either. It was totally Kate.

He could still feel her arms, her muscles flexing under his hands. And her lips. Oh, her lips. He moved his hand up to where they'd touched to his, where they'd slowly and softly moved against them, a promise of a better future.

The blood started to stir in him again. Now that he'd tasted her, he wanted more. She was addicting, not only her cherry smell and her stunning beauty, but all of her. He knew he had to kiss her again.

When he heard the front door open and quietly close, he put a smile on his face and stood up to welcome his daughter.


	3. Flying Sparks

**Note:** _This one goes out to everyone who left a review or added me to their lists. I'm really grateful for all your support. So grateful in fact, that I decided to hurry up and post the third chapter already. Enjoy!_

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* * *

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When Castle arrived at the bullpen the next morning, Beckett was already seated at her desk as usually. He placed one steaming Styrofoam cup in front of her while slurping coffee from another. He sat down in the chair he'd commandeered what seemed like thousand years ago. She didn't even so much as glance at him.

Beckett delved into her paperwork assignment and Castle pretended half-heartedly to scribble random things into his notebook. Pretending, because he was actually watching her the whole time.

She didn't buy it.

Without looking up she gnarled "Stop staring, Castle. It's creepy" and that was that. Not even a greeting. She went silent again, filing away her papers and occasionally sipping her coffee. They might get an early day off, she speculated.

Half an hour went by without anyone talking and it was making Castle crazy. Beckett felt so far away and so distant that he was already missing her. Not only the 'Kate' he'd discovered, but simply the 'Detective Beckett' that had been there for the past three years. The one who still talked to him.

He'd thought about this for quite some time during the last, almost sleepless night. He'd paced through his office for so long that Alexis had actually asked him at breakfast whether he'd succeeded in wearing a hole through the floor or whether they still needed to take the elevator to visit Mrs. Swansson below. He shrugged all his pretty writer words aside and went with simple and to-the-point.

"We need to talk."

"No we don't, Castle. I need to do paperwork and you need to do…whatever it is you're doing." Beckett told him and got up to wipe the last case's notes off the whiteboard.

"Kate" he said, softly, the use of her first name stopping her eraser mid-letter on the word AFFAIR. She turned around to look right into his eyes, making their first eye contact that day, the first straight look since their kiss. He wasn't sure what he saw in her emerald eyes, but he didn't like it.  
Without saying another word she left off for the break room, silently ordering him to follow. He closed the door behind them and she swiveled around immediately, the expression in her eyes now clear and easy to understand: She was furious, and she was aggressive.

"There is nothing to talk about, Castle!" she spit at him, almost about to push him in the chest for further exclamation, but then suddenly remembering how _that_ had ended the last time. "We've already established that it was a mistake! It happened in the heat of the moment and will never, **ever**, happen again! Understood?"

"Hold it, _detective_!" he snarled, with so much spite that it made her flinch. "First of all, WE haven't established anything, YOU said it was a mistake and then ran off and chickened out!" he screamed and it must have carried out into the offices because several heads were turning at the muffled sounds. Beckett noticed and moved further into the room, positioning herself accidentally in front of the coffee machine. She decided another coffee wasn't such a bad idea after all, plus busying herself with her back to Castle meant that she didn't have to look into those blue eyes.

"We shouldn't talk about this here" she said at last, her voice now calm and almost friendly. She could switch moods like an actress.

She was right, though, Castle thought. The precinct wasn't exactly the optimal setting for this kind of conversation. But he needed to get some things off his chest, so he continued his rant where he'd left off, only this time in a softer voice.

"I never said it was a mistake. That was just you. I'm not sorry for kissing you. And it did NOT happen in the heat of the moment, you know that as well as I do" he ended, content with what he'd said. She still had her back to him and her hands around a cup. The coffee was brewing as she seemed to process this. Then all of a sudden the 9 year old jumped into his brain and he couldn't stop himself from adding "Oh and by the way, just to prepare yourself, I can assure you that it will happen again. And I'm pretty sure you'll like it, too."

When her mouth fell open and she turned around, he showed her his best smile. "Now could we get back in there and behave? I wouldn't want you to miss out on a murder case and ruin your clearance rate because you were in here getting all distracted by my charming personality and rugged handsomeness."

She just stood there, unable to say a word, looking as if she was about to crash her head into the next best wall. Castle just kept that wicked, distracting smile on his face, walked to the door and held it open for her. "After you, detective" he said and she finally moved, walking past him with a puzzled look, the coffee completely forgotten. She turned around to face him again and wanted to say something, but only silently opened and closed her mouth a couple of times. Castle grinned. "You know, if this happens to a writer they call it 'writer's block'. I guess if it happens to anyone else, they just call it 'speechless'."

She ignored his comment, closed her mouth and headed to her desk. She stopped again when she noticed several pairs of eyes following her. "Don't you have anything else to do?" she told her detectives. "Like, _work_, maybe?" she scoffed at them and everyone started busying themselves. Esposito murmured something about 'ruining all the fun' and Beckett shot him a look that effectively shut him up. Ryan chuckled, earned himself a glare from his partner and mumbled "Chill, bro."

Esposito closed the lid on a cardboard evidence box. "Yo, Beckett!" he called after her and she looked up from the whiteboard, the eraser back in her hand to finish what Castle had interrupted, when her desk phone started ringing. She held up a palm to Esposito and answered the phone. "Detective Beckett, homicide investigations. Yes, sure. Where are you?"

Esposito and Ryan shared a knowing look that said 'farewell, early closing plans with Lanie and Jenny' and got up to get their coats.  
"Of course, officer. Thank you. We'll be there as fast as we can." Beckett finished her call and rummaged through the papers on her desk. "What didcha want from me, Esposito?" she asked and turned to find Esposito, Ryan and Castle already positioned in front of her desk, car keys dangling from Ryan's hand. Esposito shrugged it off. "Doesn't matter anymore. Where're we goin'?"  
"I call shotgun!" Castle chimed in and all of her worries seemed to disappear for a moment. Everything was back to normal.

* * *

_BTW, did everybody get the Firefly reference in 3x09? It was really easy to catch this time^^. I thought it was hilarious. And the hickey scene deserves an award. "That a hickey?" "Yes." "No!" "I wish." :)_

***Lina***


	4. Heating Up

They had left the precinct two minutes earlier and were already stuck in a major northbound traffic jam on Broadway. Beckett drummed her fingers on the wheel, slowly growing impatient. She longed for her Harley Soft Tail to bypass the morning rush hour. For the first time in a long while she wished she could be a little more like Nikki Heat. She looked over to Castle and found him playing with his iPhone. She wondered what he would do all day if he didn't have his gadgets.

Another 10 minutes later they had turned into West 96th Street and onto Amsterdam, hoping to avoid traffic, but unfortunately still stuck. Esposito and Ryan were three blocks ahead of them and Lanie had already called in from the scene. Beckett debated whether she should talk to Castle. She was still mad at him but she was so bored that she would probably fall asleep in the next minutes if nothing happened. She longed for the coffee she had left in the break room machine, disregarded and forgotten.

"What are you doing over there, Castle?" she asked and tried to sound casual. "Tweeting the deep fried Twinkie?" Ugh. She hadn't intended to go there, it was really not her business, but now she couldn't take it back. Thankfully he didn't pick her up on it.

"Nah, Meredith's in Europe anyway, hitting it off with some Italian producer. I was just playing Ninja Ropes. Wanna try?" he offered, his smile as bright as always.

"I'm driving" she answered, glad that he hadn't made some kind of innuendo.

"We could always swap, you know?" he proposed, his eyes wide in anticipation when she glanced over. "If you'd let me drive, you could try out my new apps!"

Beckett rolled her eyes, but couldn't quite suppress a grin. "In your dreams, Castle."

He looked at her in a way that made her blush and turn to her side mirror. His voice was a playful low growl when he spoke. "In my dreams neither of us is driving. Although we are in a car sometimes."

Beckett's face was now as red as a tomato. She should have just let him play with his stupid phone, she mused. To bridge the silence between them she turned her radio on, only to have it play 'The Only Exception' by Paramore.

…_I've always lived like this  
Keeping a comfortable distance  
And up until now I had sworn to myself  
That I'm content with loneliness  
Cause none of it was ever worth the risk  
But you are the only exception  
You are the only exception…_

As the words filled the air in her Crown Vic, she kept her eyes fixed to the road until she couldn't take it anymore. She waited another half minute before she switched the station, only to end up listening to Rihanna's 'Kisses don't lie'. She shut the music off completely and let silence fall over them again.

"Oh why, Miss Beckett, I guess this shall mean that my lady can't bear to be reminded of our sweet embrace" Castle teased and she thoroughly checked her side mirror again. "You don't have to hide it, it's all over your face."

"Well, who would like to be reminded of the lowest point of their live?" she returned, slightly surprised that her brain hadn't stopped working.

"If that was your lowest point, detective, I can promise that there are …lower… points yet to come" he answered huskily, making sure she understood _exactly_ what he meant. Her heart thumped loud in her chest and her throat turned dry. He was making her crazy and there was no way out. They were stuck in her car, a good 10 minutes from their crime scene, driving north on Amsterdam at a crawling speed. If he was going to keep this up, she was going to self-combust any minute. And he hadn't even touched her.

* * *

"Spontaneous self-combustion."

"What?" asked Beckett incredulously.

"Spontaneous human combustion, or self-combustion, whatever you wanna call it." Lanie repeated from her position low on the ground, crouched over the victim, completely covered by a white cloth. Whoever it had been, there wasn't much left. The tarmac around the white cloth was black with ashes and burnt things – a lot of trash, clothes, what must have been a bike…

"And what's that supposed to mean?"  
"Never heard of that, Beckett? People going up in flames for no apparent reason?" Esposito answered on Lanie's behalf, which Castle noted absently. He'd also noted the way Esposito sometimes looked at Lanie and he wondered if Beckett had noticed it, too. If she had, she was probably going to have a nice 'Don't-you-dare-hurt-her' talk with him. And with Lanie. They were all so close to each other, like family. They would protect each other.

"So basically you're saying you don't know what caused this?" Beckett said and pulled Castle out of his daydreams.

"Not yet, anyway" said Lanie "But Castle, don't even get started on your alien theories. I'm gonna find a reasonable explanation and if I don't I'm gonna make one up. Don't want you going bananas over someone beaming you up or injecting weird things, again. Next time you have a mark on your neck it better be a hickey." Castle tried to look insulted. Beckett ignored Lanie's remark and her own thoughts about hickeys and stayed in detective mode.

"TOD?"

"Please, Kate, although I like to think I'm Superwoman sometimes, I'm not. We don't even have cause, how are we gonna have time of death? As soon as I get him or her to the morgue, I'll be able to tell you more. Usual processes like checking the lividity don't work much when you're a fire victim." Lanie motioned over to where Ryan was standing. "Parking officer who found her will probably be able to give you an approx time window, though. But that's your job, detective." She smirked and Castle observed Esposito, who looked at Lanie as if to say 'To me you are Superwoman, querida'.

"So I guess I won't even ask if we got an ID." Beckett said, either oblivious to the eye sex right in front of her, or not letting on. She turned to Esposito and raised an eyebrow, signaling him to brief her on the information he'd collected so far. "Parking officer found our vic at 8:45, he's still in shock. Ryan's getting his statement right now."

"Any witnesses?"  
He glimpsed at his note pad. "Not so far, but uniforms are canvassing the neighborhood."  
"All right. I'll talk to First On Scene, but I guess there's not much we can do here. Wrap it up and get back to the precinct."  
"K, boss" said Esposito and turned to walk over to his partner.

Beckett turned around for Castle and found him a couple feet away, kneeling in front of what she suspected to be some kind of evidence or burnt trash. "What have you got, Castle?" she asked and walked over.

"Found something" he answered and the grin in his voice promised no good. When she moved around him, she saw that he was pointing at a burnt piece of hot pink lace. At least he's crime scene trained enough not to touch it, she mused.

"I'd guess it's a thong." Castle grinned and then his face turned inquisitive. "Do you wear thongs, Beckett?" She shot him an indignant stare and signaled over to one of the CSU guys to bag the piece of lace.

"Do you want to know what I think?" Castle jumped up and they walked along the parking spots towards the street where a uni jotted something down in her notebook.

"No, I don't. But that's not going to stop you, is it?"  
"I think our Mr. Crisp was hot for a girl with a pink thong."  
Beckett rolled her eyes. "Really, Castle? Usually you're better than this. What has gotten into you today that you're so out of form?" she asked and already regretted it before he spoke a word.

"I think it's your hair. Ever since you've let it grow it keeps distracting me" he said, honestly, and it took all of her willpower not to slip out of detective mode and into…whatever mode he put her in when he talked like that. Beckett stopped her mind from wandering as fast as she'd initiated it. Castle also seemed to have changed moods as he said "But it would be such a cool story, don't you think? This stalker guy is hot for a girl but she doesn't want him so out of passion and longing he spontaneously goes up in flames."

Beckett thought about her own passion and longing and how she'd been about to go up in flames just a couple of minutes ago. And back was the wandering. She had to stop this somehow, because if Castle were to find out what his presence did to her…only god knows what he'd do.

"I could use it in my next Nikki Heat, you know, it'd make a good plot, stalker and all … I'd call it 'Burning Heat'."

"Burning Heat? Really, Castle? And a stalker? You already wrote about a stalker in your last book. You're starting to repeat yourself." Beckett looked into his eyes and decided that two could play this game. "Is your research not profitable anymore?" she said and moved closer to him, purposely biting her lips. "Am I not inspiring enough?" She watched his eyes wander to her lips and darken. "You could stalk a stalker for a change. Or someone more appropriate, maybe. Like a garbage truck driver."

"But I really prefer stalking you" he whispered, his face dangerously close. "Besides, I don't actually follow you around for research."

And with that he turned and left her standing at the exit of the parking lot, the purpose of her walking there forgotten, her mind on pink lacy thongs, self-combustion and other things related to 'Heat'.

* * *

**Note:**_ Before you start asking, I don't actually know what I'm talking about when I use all these street names and stuff. It's just google maps, wikipedia and 'Naked Heat'. I don't intend to focus that much on the case, but I needed it anyway to lay the ground work of my story. If something bugs you, please tell me!_

_Oh and it's funny because this chapter is a lot like one of the '**Towers that Crumble**' chapters here on , but I swear I wrote this before I read **Father Vengeance**_'_s fan fic. :) And BTW, his story's way better than mine.^^_

_Leave a comment, please? Don't make me beg for it. You know you get cyber cookies if you review, right?_

_*Lina*  
_


	5. On Fire

**Note:** _Wanted to give a shout out to __**I'm Widget**__ for reviewing every single chapter. Even if it's just a line, a review will always make me a happier person._

_I really like this one. It's kinda fluffy and hot (or at least I hope so…). And it's a little longer!  
_

_Enjoy!_

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* * *

_"_Affair_" Castle pondered mystically and made a sweeping motion with his hand as if he envisioned the word in bold letters on a Broadway marquee. Beckett erased it from the murder board, finally successful after two interrupted attempts earlier that day. Castle stood closely to her side, the autumn sun reflecting powerfully from his vivid eyes. "What is it about that word that makes every man squirm in anticipation?"

"I guess it's hormones from the thought of sex without consequences" Beckett responded dryly. Her mind was on the fresh and incredibly empty timeline in front of her. It didn't stop her from chaffing a little.  
"Did you know that _affaire_ in French also means legal process? Ask yourself why, Castle. Makes sense, don't you think?" she quipped.

Castle watched her as she wrote the time of their 'self-combustion' murder victim discovery in neat capitals onto the clean board. She then added the arrival of first on scene uniforms and capped her marker. It was all they had so far. When she turned around he spoke. "Men don't necessarily like 'no strings, no worries' kind of relationships. They certainly like the sex, but I think the thrill about affairs comes from knowing that you're doing something secret and forbidden. It's an adventure." He followed her to her desk and sat down beside her, scooting his chair a little closer in the process. Beckett picked up some files, tapped them on the desk to align them and put them back down. She looked at him again and he continued. "It's just like us. My tagging along is almost like an affair. In fact, that was what Gina told me once when we were back together after the summer. She told me you were like my secret girlfriend I always found an excuse to see." Beckett didn't know what to answer. Josh had told her almost the exact same thing. It hadn't been the cause of their break-up, but it had certainly contributed to it. That and the fact that she hadn't loved him as much as she wished she had.

Thankfully Esposito and Ryan came in from the elevators at that moment, drawing Beckett's and Castle's attention away from the uneven topic of affairs. The look on the detectives' faces indicated that they'd found something. The box Ryan carried might also have been a giveaway.

* * *

The night had closed in on the city when Beckett sat down at her desk for the first time since midday. After Esposito and Ryan had come in with the surveillance video of the parking lot, the case had started to take some form and the murder board had filled before their eyes. Although on the tape the crime was only a sudden explosion in the darkness around 3 am, a tenant from a building across the lot had identified several other people from surveillance tape screen shots of earlier that night. Since Lanie hadn't found the COD yet, they had brought multiple people from that parking lot video in for questioning. Castle had watched on as mug shot after mug shot had been moved from the 'suspect' to the 'witness' column. Lanie had then narrowed down their time of death window to the hours of 11 pm to 3 am, murmuring something on the phone about 'the weirdest corpse ever' and confirmed the vic's identity after some dental informations. 'Mr. Crisp' now had a name and it was Robert L. Harris, 32 years old, registered in Northern Clinton.

They hadn't found anything useful yet. Harris had been a baker at a local bakery a block from the crime scene and apparently everyone had loved him. They were at a dead end, almost everyone had called it a day and Beckett was getting tired and frustrated but wouldn't leave. When Castle settled down beside her she didn't bother to look at him.

"What do you think about inter-office affairs?" he asked and completely caught her off guard. She tried to ignore the flutter in her stomach. "Are you working on some wild theory of our victim having affairs with his coworkers? We already covered that, Castle. We found nothing that pointed towards an affair." She grabbed a pen and started writing her day's report. "I was actually thinking about something more bullpen-related" he said, lazily crossing his legs as if he was talking about affairs on a daily basis.

Beckett interrupted her writing, looked up and hoped that her tremble didn't show in her eyes. "Well then I am completely against it. It distracts everyone on the team and is highly inappropriate. Whoever commits such an indecency should be condemned immediately" said Beckett and tried to put some conviction into her voice. If he was going to ask her to start an affair with him, she certainly wasn't going to show him how the blood in her veins had started to heat at the thought. Her heart thumped loudly in her ears when he answered.

"That's maddening, Beckett!" he exclaimed and uncrossed his legs. "I really didn't know you felt about it that way, I mean when it concerns someone you obviously like and appreciate. I thought with everyone being so close on this team, that you'd give those sprouting feelings a chance." Beckett's heart went wide with feeling and her head dizzy from anger. Did he just assume that she appreciated him? How can he be so self-absorbed and bigheaded, she asked herself. The look in his eyes spoke of genuine concern and astonishment. Well he probably hadn't thought that she would turn him down. He could be such a self-centered Egoist, thought Beckett.

"I mean," Castle continued, "you remember what I told you about the 'secretiveness and forbiddance' of affairs making them so exciting, but I just don't think it's about that in this particular case." Her face grew hot at his admission, but she forced herself not to let him affect her. "What if true feelings developed? Someone would get hurt because of your stubbornness. Love's not always by the book, Beckett." Her head was spinning. Did he just say love? He continued, unswayed and obliviously.

"But I guess they'll have to accept it anyway. If the big sister doesn't approve, there's nothing you can do" he finished and she was perplexed. "They…?" She had to blink once or twice to get her brain started again. "Who are you talking about?" she asked irritated, her eyebrows bunched in a big question mark.

"Huh? Lanie and Esposito of course. Who else would I be talking about? Is Ryan having an affair I don't know about?" Castle answered curiously and unaware, which she found inappropriately cute. "I was… I just… It doesn't matter, I just…" she stuttered and blushed. It took Castle another second of realization and then a wide smile showed on his face. He inched his face closer to hers. "You were thinking about us, right? You thought I was talking about _us _having an affair! Oh my, you thought I would want to…" he trailed off when she turned away and lowered her head. "Kate, look at me. Kate" he said then, his voice gentle and soothing, her name as if caressed by his tongue. He reached out with his hand to cup her chin and force her to look at him. "I wouldn't want to have an affair with you. I mean JUST an affair" he added quickly when she tried to avoid his gaze again. "You're not one to hide, Kate."

His mouth was suddenly on hers; she had no recollection whatsoever to how it had ended up there. She wanted to protest, wanted to scream at him, to hit him for his indecency, but she couldn't. Her hands found their way up to his neck, tangled in his hair of their own volition and she had no choice but to lean in to him.

He held her, caressed her lips with his own, nibbled at her lower one and elicited the sweetest sounds out of her. He breathed in her air and his mind clouded over. She opened her mouth for him and let his tongue connect with hers.

"Night, Beckett" someone called from the hallway and they drew back for an inch, their faces still so close that they were almost brushing. She prayed to all powers that be that the detective hadn't stuck his head into the offices on the way out. They were barred from anyone walking in the hallways, but if anyone were to peek through the door…

"We should stop having intimate moments in public places" Castle whispered, his breath hot on her lips. "Your apartment wasn't what I'd call a public place and still we got interrupted" she answered, her voice a sexy rasp. He gave in to his need and kissed her once more. After a moment she pulled away.  
"We should stop kissing."  
"Right." He kissed her again.  
"I meant it."  
"I know." He gave her lips a last quick peck and backed off. Her arms left his shoulders but she didn't avert her gaze.  
"I should go home" she heard herself say.  
"Yeah" he croaked and cleared his throat. When she turned her eyes away from his the ban was broken and they quickly collected their belongings. Beckett went to the ladies' room to rearrange herself and when she returned he was gone. A note was written on the notepad on her desk.

_If I hadn't left I would no longer have been accountable for my actions. ;)_

_Enjoy your night._

_Rick  
_


	6. Morning Glow

**Note:**_ Thank you for reviewing as much as you all did! Unfortunately Beckett will not follow him home; it would be too fast too much even for a fan fiction._

_PS: Note that Beckett and Castle are Kate and Rick when they are with their family and friends. I just felt it would be more genuine that way._

_Now Enjoy!  
_

_

* * *

_The mist of morning laid on the barely woken city. When Kate Beckett walked through the gray hallways of the New York morgue, not even the dim surroundings could force the glow out of her eyes and the spring out of her step. She pushed the autopsy doors open and was faced with the back side of her best friend, clad in tight fitting jeans veiled by a blue lab coat.

"Spill it!" she demanded only just through the door. Lanie swiveled around and eyed her friend inquisitively. "Good morning to you, too."

Kate stood with her hands on her hips. "Spill it" she repeated.  
"That's my line, Kate!" Lanie said indignantly.  
"Oh come on, Lanie. I've got eyes, I see what's going on."  
"You see what's going on? Since when? It's been three years and nothing has happened between you and writer boy!" Lanie wondered and motioned around the air with her hands.  
"Well...actually…" Kate gave off.  
Lanie gaped at her. "No way!"  
Kate brushed an improper curl out of her eyes and looked to a spot somewhere behind her friend's left shoulder.

"Don't be shy, girl. This is great! Is that why he's not here with you? Did he have to go home to change out of yesterday's clothes?" Lanie grinned, and her sly smile filled the sullenness of the autopsy room.  
"No, no, Lanie! We didn't…no" she stuttered and blushed. Lanie's smile diminished a little and worry showed in her eyes. "What happened then? You didn't turn him down, did you?"

Now it was Kate's turn to grin. She felt like a teenager blurting about her first date. "We kissed" she said and her grin turned to a full on smile. "Twice."

Lanie stepped away from the dead body behind her and pulled her friend into a hug. "Finally."

After a moment Kate pulled away. "Now stop distracting and start talking, girl! I want to know all about you and Esposito." Lanie's smile turned savvy and mischievous. Her eyebrows arched delicately when she spoke. "I guess we already went a little further than you and Castle…"

* * *

In the meantime Rick Castle was standing barefoot behind his kitchen isle, expertly making pancakes. His hair was ruffled and he looked wrecked from an obvious lack of sleep, but a smile graced his scruffy face nonetheless. His eyes were shining from the inside out, Alexis noticed when she descended the stairs. She walked towards him across the open living room area and took in a deep breath. "That smells great, dad."

"Thanks, sweetie" he said happily. She stopped next to him and he laid down his spatula to pull her into a hug. He kissed the top of her head and turned towards his pancakes. She held on to him. "Why are you still here, don't you have a case? I can make my own breakfast, you know." He looked down at her. "I know you can, honey, but I like to spoil you every once in a while." She cuddled closer to him. "Did something happen at the precinct?" She sounded so concerned and fearful that he put down the spatula again and took her hands in his. "Nothing happened, sweetie. Nothing terrible, anyway." She bid him with a nod to elaborate. "At least I hope it wasn't terrible" he said and sighed. "You know I like Detective Beckett very much…"  
"What did you do, dad?" she demanded. "Did you hurt her again?"  
He sighed once more. "No, but I kissed her."

"Oh" was her only response. She took a moment to process this. "Is that why you are still here and not at the precinct?"  
"No that's because I was up all nigh…"  
"LALALA I don't want to hear it, dad!" Alexis quickly said and plugged her ears with her index fingers.  
He calmly took her wrists in his big hands and pulled her fingers out. "I was going to say 'writing', honey. I started the next Nikki Heat last night."  
Alexis smiled apologetically.

"So...you kissed Detective Beckett?"

Rick smirked. "I did." He paused a moment to collect his thoughts and cradle Alexis' hands in his own. "And I think it might happen again. I wanted to know whether you would approve if Kate and I would get…romantically involved." He looked at her expectantly. His worry was in vain because Alexis jumped up to hug him tightly. "Of course I would approve! Not that you would listen to me if I said else, but I think she is great! She is so different from the other girlfriends you used to have and…she is good for you, dad. Plus, she actually treats me like an adult" she rambled on. "But if you hurt her I will help her kill you and hide the body!" she added, drawing back a little to point at him in an accusing manner. Rick squeezed her firmly, lifting her off the ground in the process and gently putting her back down.

"You have to go on a date with her, though. Seriously, dad, you can't just kiss her and come home to write a book. Even if the book is about her. She's just not that kind of girl."

Rick was once more astounded by his amazing daughter and her so very adult insights. He cupped her cheek gently and pulled her to him for a sweet peck on the forehead. "That's a great idea, sweetie. I promise I will do my very best not to hurt her and if my best is not enough I want you to be the diplomatic judge in our battle to death."

When he stopped he noticed that something was off. He couldn't put his finger on it, but something was…strange. Alexis looked at him confusedly. "Do you smell that, dad?"

"Smell?"

Rick's eyebrow furrowed and then it dawned on him. "Oh crap!" he exclaimed and swiveled around. He squeaked at the smoking mess that had once been pancakes and quickly grabbed the pan and rushed to the sink.

Alexis deliberately walked over to him and spied over his shoulder. "Don't worry dad. You can still practice before you have to perform this in front of Detective Beckett. I have to run now anyway or I'll be late for my excursion."  
She leaned up to kiss his cheek and was gone.

* * *

"You did what now?" Kate gaped. "I think that was more than I really wanted to know…I'll never look at Esposito the way I used to." She glanced down at her father's watch. "I have to go now anyway. I'm already running late."

"Not so fast, girl! You didn't come all the way down here just to nag me about my sex life. I've got news for you."  
Kate understood that the girl time was over and took out her note pad. "I think I have an idea for your murder weapon." Lanie said and walked around the metal autopsy table. "I have never seen anything like this, but if I had to guess, which is what I'm doing until I have run some more tests, I would say that your Mister Harris has been baked."  
Kate's brows shot up. "What?"  
Lanie allowed herself half a grin despite the morbid topic. "I'd guess in a large bakery oven. They are sometimes large enough to fit a human being." "Seriously? Baked? But we found evidence of a fire on the parking lot. What was that all about then?"

Lanie slipped off her medical gloves and grabbed a clipboard. "As I said, it's all preliminary, but I'm pretty sure this is what happened. Our perp cooked this guy in a large oven, took him to the lot and set him on fire to make it look like an explosion or an accident or who knows what. Somebody must have put out the fire, though, maybe even the killer, because Mr. Harris is not completely burnt down. Otherwise it would be all ashes, but we still have some flesh and some muscle here" she concluded and checked something on her board. "I should have the final results by this evening."

She looked up at the detective and smiled. "My job is as good as done. Now it's your turn." Kate groaned and turned around. She spoke with her back to Lanie, halfway out the door. "I can't even imagine what Castle will say about this. Baked…" Lanie heard her say down the hall and she had to shake her head with a smirk.

* * *

_Like? Not so much? Not enough hot action?_  
_Don't worry there's more to come. For now, I would like YOU to give me some suggestions. Now that Castle has decided that he should take Beckett on a date, I need a cool and extraordinary place for their date. Could you help me with that? Pretty please?_

_Until next time! *Lina*_


	7. Consuming Flames

When Castle heard about the baking of their victim later that day, he had to bite his fist to stop his joyous scream. "This case gets better by the minute!" he exclaimed, his eyes as big as a kid's on Christmas. He looked at Beckett with that childish expectation but she simply arched an eyebrow.  
"Oh come on Beckett, you must admit it's a good story! Our Mr. Crisp wasn't actually barbecued but rather gently heated to 450° F and then smoothly flambéed!"  
Beckett rolled her eyes at his macabre excitement about the death of a human being. "'Mr. Crisp' has a name, Castle and it's Robert Harris." She glared at him but he either didn't notice or didn't care. "I know what it reminds me of!" he declared and jumped up from his seat next to her desk. "It's like the Hansel and Gretel fairytale and Harris is the cannibalistic witch that got stuffed in her own oven! This is amazing, I've so got to tweet this…" he said and already had his phone out. Beckett just shook her head at him and looked over to Ryan who had just hung up his receiver.

"They're bringing in the bakery owner right now" he announced and Beckett got up to walk to the interrogation rooms. When she reached the hallway she turned around to find Castle still in his chair, phone in hand, apparently oblivious to her departure. She smiled a little and turned to Esposito to tell him that he and Ryan should start the interrogation without her. She then proceeded to the observation room to her left.

Almost 5 minutes went by until Castle arrived at the door, pouting and just a little annoyed. She watched him come in and turned back to the one-way mirror.

"You could have told me you were in here, you know."

"It's not my job to make you follow my every step, Castle. Usually you do it by yourself and it's annoying enough." She noticed him getting closer in her peripheral vision and felt his stare on her. "It's creepy, too. Almost like a stalker" she said without turning. "And you're staring again."

"I kind of am your stalker. And I like to be, Kate. I also like staring at you, because you intrigue me." She silently cursed him for using her first name because it always sent shivers down her spine, no matter how hard she tried to fight it. Why did his voice have to be so soft and friendly when he said such stupid things about her? She sensed him coming closer still, but she didn't allow herself to draw away. It would just be evidence of the effect he had on her and she wasn't going to give that to him.

"You're beautiful" he whispered and his breath tickled her neck and brushed against the long strands of brown hair flowing freely from her head. She could feel the heat radiating from his body on her side but she stared on stubbornly into the glass wall even though she had completely lost track of what Esposito was talking about.

"Let me take you on a date" he proposed out of the blue and she finally turned to him. She immediately regretted it because he was even closer than she had thought and his blue eyes were piercing her green ones so intently that she involuntarily stopped breathing for a second and her heart skipped a beat.

"Okay" she heard someone say and it must have been her because his face lit up in surprise. "Just like that? Okay?" he asked to make sure he had understood her, but she didn't answer, just stared at him. Slowly the voices of Ryan and Esposito behind the magic mirror drew their attention back to their case and they reluctantly turned towards the glass again.

Beckett tried to get back to the conversation in front of her but her mind wouldn't cooperate. Her thoughts wandered off to the memories of his lips on hers and her body responded of its own volition. Every hair on her body was standing up and her senses were aware of every single breath he took.

After a minute or so she felt Castle's hand touch her arm and shuddered. She didn't dare to look up at him because she was afraid to fall right into his eyes again, but she also didn't pull away. Her heart thundered in her chest when he started to gently rub up and down her arm. She wondered what she had done wrong to deserve getting punished with someone like Richard Castle. Although her heart vehemently screamed at her head that he was more gift than punishment, her head denied her heart the democratic right of co determination. She really didn't understand how she could have accepted his invitation to a date. Her head must have been offline during that minute.

Castle's hand slowly moved to her back and gently started rubbing circles. He was so amazed at the fact that she hadn't shot him yet or even moved that he didn't dare to speak for fear of startling her.

He tried to get his attention back to the interrogation just when Ryan scooped his papers together and started to get up. Esposito followed his partner's lead but addressed the bakery owner, a businessman in his late 50s, once more while Ryan already went for the door.

"I guess we're done here. We shouldn't waste any more time on you, we might better spend it on your bakery."

"My bakery?" the man asked stupidly and Beckett had to grin at one of the oldest interrogation techniques known to mankind. Apply pressure on weak points. Make them squirm. Watch them crumble.

"Yes, your bakery" Esposito answered calmly and Ryan turned around at the door. "If you're lucky you might be able to reopen by next Monday. We need to take your convection oven, though. CSU's definitely going to take at least a month for that."

Beckett knew that Esposito was making most of this up, but the fib worked nonetheless.

"Wait" the businessman said and brushed trickles of sweat off his forehead. "I didn't do anything, I swear. It was Laurie's idea!"

Beckett knew that from now on the rest was going to be a piece of cake. Castle had obviously paid attention, too, because his hand on her back dropped back to her side. She was surprised, though, when he tentatively took her hand in his.

"Let's go out tomorrow night. I'm sure you'll have your paper work done by then."

She looked up into his eyes and saw anticipation flickering over them, covering deeper emotions that were lying beneath. His gaze was drawn to her enticing lips and the hunger was portrayed clearly in his eyes. Her skin heated up at his piercing look.

Detective Beckett slipped her hand out of Castle's and stepped to the side. After a last glance through the mirror she walked around him towards the door. Her hand was already on the doorknob when she turned and rushed back. He didn't even so much as blink and suddenly her mouth was on his and her hands all over him. Passion and lust rolled over him like an avalanche when her lips started to devour him. One hand tugged at his hair now, the other was on his back, eager to press him into her. Under his closed lids he saw flashes of red as his mind crumbled under the impact of her desire.

As quickly as the fiery kiss had started it was over. They drew apart, deranged and out of breath. Beckett turned towards the one-way and smeared lipstick from her mouth. She then tied her disheveled hair up into a bun and brushed some of the wrinkles out of her neat white blouse. She didn't quite look like the by-the-book Beckett she'd arrived as, but it was good enough. Without looking at Castle, who stood stunned and speechless in the middle of the room, his hair standing up in cute odd angles, she left.

* * *

**A/N:** _I hope you all liked it! This is the chapter I'm the most unsure about of all the chapters so far, so please tell me what you think! And don't forget to leave a message as to where they should go on their date!  
Another question: How would you feel if I let this story go M at some point? I'm not sure about it yet and it will be definitely several chapters until we even get close to that, but still..._

_Thank you so much for reading this story and being so supportive of it!_  
_*Lina*_


	8. Flare of Emotion

**A/N:** _Thanks for being so extremely supportive of this story! I took all your suggestions into account and tried to make up my mind for the date, but there is still time to propose something if you have any extraordinary ideas! Leave a review with your favorite place for an upcoming Caskett date and tell me whether you liked it so far!_

_Thanks in advance and now please enjoy, laugh, cry, sing, dance, whatever you feel like when reading this chapter!_

_'Lina*_

* * *

There was a small pause and Kate could virtually envision her friend's eyebrows disappearing into her hairline. "Gurl, you didn't really just ask me what I would do. Hell, where have ya been the last frickin three years?"

Kate had to laugh despite herself and her light blurt carried pleasantly through the phone. "You're right, Lanie, how could I dare to ask such a silly question…"

"And it's not like you could just call him up and say 'No' to a date you said 'Yes' to yesterday" Lanie chipped in.

"I didn't say 'Yes'. I said 'Okay' and I was obviously not thinking correctly" Kate tried again, but with not very much conviction.

"So, next question" Lanie said, skipping her friend's remark and going on to the next best topic. "What are you wearing?"

Kate sighed. "I guess that was the actual reason I called you."

"You didn't by any chance ask writer boy where he's going to take you?

"I did. He wouldn't say" Kate had to admit.

"Really, honey? You didn't use your irresistible interrogation techniques on him?"

She could see Lanie's brows furrowing again. "He's immune to them. At least to the ones I tried. The others won't work because he'll just turn them into something sexual" she said reluctantly and flopped down on her couch.

"When did writer boy say he was going to pick you up?"  
"At 7."  
"I'll be over in 20" her friend assured her.  
"I don't know how to thank you, Lanie" Kate said, but the line was already dead.

* * *

"You're going to do just fine, dad" Alexis assured her dad while she tied his cerulean tie for him. She had picked it because it brought out his eyes in a very dashing manner.

"Are you sure she's going to like it?" Rick asked nervously and smoothed down the front of his dark blue shirt for what must have been the 600th time.

"Well at first she's going to hit you, of course" Alexis said matter-of-factly "and I'm sure she'll put a death stare on you, too. But then she'll love it."

Rick sighed in relief and tried to calm down a little. He hadn't been this nervous about a date since High School.

Alexis was done with his tie and drew back to look him up and down a little. "How did your case turn out, by the way?"

Rick bend down to put on his shoes and started to recount. "Well, as I've already told you, this one was about a guy that got baked in an oven and then later set on fire, again, on a parking lot not far from his work place – a bakery, by the way. Apparently, he was the star of said bakery because his cakes and cupcakes always turned out irresistible."

He went on from his right to his left shoe.

"He was thinking about starting his own business and his boss didn't like that idea, for obvious reasons. So this guy, the bakery owner, talked to his girlfriend Laurie, who also worked at the bakery, to talk our baked guy Harris out of going solo. From what we know so far, this persuasion talk Laurie and Harris had turned into a fight, Harris crashed into the side of the oven and kicked the bucket. To get rid of the body, she called her boyfriend slash boss and they stuffed him into the oven. Turns out that wasn't a good idea because they just made a mess but still had a body. So they carried him to the parking lot, set him on fire and end of story." He finished, content with his story and his shoes. Alexis had listened carefully and was know nibbling on her lower lip in deep thought. The gesture was so much like Beckett that his own thoughts wandered away to his favorite detective.

"Did they confess?" Alexis asked and Rick snapped back to his daughter.

"The owner did, but the girlfriend isn't saying anything. They've got this really slick lawyer who's always a pain in the behind" Rick answered and glanced down to his 10 grand watch.

"I've got to go now, honey" he said and kissed his daughter's cheek. "Thank you for your help."

"Nothing to thank me for, dad. Just don't mess this one up, okay?" Alexis called to him as he put on his coat.

"I'll try, honey" he replied and disappeared down the hallway.

* * *

Lanie was just securing the last pins in her friend's hair when the doorbell rang. They had run out of time because Kate had showered twice. The second time because they had messed up her hair with so much hairspray that Lanie had laughed at its brick-like structure.

Because they hadn't known where the million dollar baby boy was going to take her they had decided on a casual but elegant outfit, one that would be alright for a movie night or a walk in the park as well as an uptown theatre performance. With Rick Castle, one never knew what to expect.

Now Katherine Beckett was wearing slim, very dark jeans tucked into high heeled silver boots that Lanie had once talked her into buying and a green flowing top that brought out her eyes and showed decidedly enough cleavage that Lanie could be sure Castle stayed focused only on Kate throughout the evening. Kate had obeyed to her friend's wishes because Lanie had a better taste in those matters and also because she would have been ready for a mental home if she had had to pick out her outfit on her own.

Before Kate could open the door, her friend was in front of her, peeking through the spy hole to examine the famous writer.

"He looks nervous" she declared and sneaked another glance before turning around. "He better be, I'd roast his ass if he weren't."

Kate pushed her giggling friend out of the room. "Thanks for your help, Lanie, but from now on it's my own disaster." She turned around and walked back to the door but Lanie called after her. "He looks really hot so you better brace yourself for a very exciting night, girl!"

"Oh shut up!" Kate snapped, but Lanie could hear the smile from her observation point in the kitchen.

Kate brushed at a loose strand of her hair once more and swung the door open. Lanie was right, she thought, he did look hot. The shirt and tie brought out his eyes and his hair was as perfect ever. She remembered what it felt like to run her fingers through it and blushed slightly.

"Is someone with you?" Castle asked confused instead of a proper greeting. She blushed some more. "It's…uhh…Lanie, just Lanie" she stuttered, taken aback by his irritated question and stepped to the side so that he could come in. Lanie then emerged from the kitchen and checked him out with a smirk. "Good evening, Castle. Hope you know what you've gotten yourself into" she grinned and took her purse from the couch. "Nice to see you, too, Miss Parish" Castle answered smugly and watched her get closer. "Talk to you later" Lanie said with a nod towards Kate and brushed past Castle and out the door, but not without turning to glance at his butt. "Have fu-hun!" she cheered and disappeared around the corner.

Castle looked up with a nervous smile tugging at his lips. He extended a hand and for the first time that evening Beckett became aware of the bouquet of flowers he held in his hands. "Oh" she managed to say and took the white and blue flowers from him. Their fingers brushed lightly at the exchange and their gazes met for a long and silent second. "Thanks" she gulped out and turned her gaze away. She disappeared into the kitchen and emerged with a vase already filled with water and the beautiful flowers. "They are really nice, thank you" she said, finally her first coherent sentence.

"I was hoping you'd say that" he answered and helped her into the coat she took from the rack to her left.

"Ready?" he asked and offered his arm, his eyes flickering with anticipation and excitement.

"Ready" she said resolutely and slipped her arm into his.


	9. A Glint In The Dark

**A/N:**_ This one is pretty short, but on the other hand I just updated yesterday so you'll have to live with it.^^_

_Enjoy :)_

_

* * *

_"So where are we going?" Beckett asked as soon as they stepped to the curb in front of her apartment. One of her arms was still looped through one of Castle's and he raised his other one to hail a cab.

"Oh, please Miss Beckett. I'm not going to tell you if you just ask. Do what you do best, detective! Detect" Castle said cheekily and let his arm fall to his side when one of the dozen yellow taxis on the busy street stopped short in front of them. Beckett rolled her eyes at his back as he stepped onto the road.

He turned around to her. "I know when you do that! I don't have to see it, I can feel your eyes burning holes into my head!" She rolled them again. "Now just stay here for a second" he demanded, which was unusual for him. It wasn't like she was going to listen to him, anyway. In this particular point, she was a lot like Castle. He was leaning through the passenger side window and she stepped up to him to grab his earlobe between her fingers and thumb and pull hard.

"Apples, apples, ouch!" he yelled as she tore him away from the cab and she let him go. "I was just going to give the driver the address!" he said exasperated and rubbed his throbbing ear.

"I know very well what you were going to do and that's why I stopped you! Tell me the address or I'm not going anywhere with you!" she demanded and put her hands on her slim hips, glaring at him as if the flowers and the flutters in her stomach they had elicited were suddenly forgotten. "Don't make me change my mind about this date thing, _Ricky_" she teased. "Just tell me where we're going!"

"Where's the fun in that?" he asked innocently and stepped onto the sidewalk again. "We'll just walk then" he decided and started strolling down the avenue. Beckett left off a desperate and not very feminine gnarl, stuffed her cold hands into her coat pockets and started following him through the crisp autumn night.

She grabbed his hand when she reached him, and it obviously surprised both of them. She averted her gaze and started twirling some hairs around her finger.

It reminded him very much of the night they had left the precinct together, after both of them had unsuccessfully tried to date someone else. He had to grin at the memory of Beckett in that lopsided red dress on her date with 'Mr. July'. They had ended up rambling on to their dates about their case. And in the end, after they had caught the killer, it had been only him and Kate. Those burgers at Remy's had tasted twice as good that night.

He clutched her hand more tightly and enjoyed being with her, walking so close to her and being able to touch her without fearing for his limbs. They made their way wordlessly down a couple of blocks and he looked at her intently, wanting to memorize every detail of her figure, every up and down of her curls as she walked next to him in those mesmerizing silver boots. He would bet that they had been Lanie's idea.

"You look beautiful" he murmured and she smiled a free and happy smile that he hadn't seen in a long time. "Well you don't look too bad yourself, Mister Castle" she answered and looked into his blue orbs. He could see a glimmer shining in her eyes that spoke more than a thousand words and told him that she was happy. He was happy, too, and a warmth spread through his chest and expanded until it hit his toes.

"Why don't you tell me where you're dragging me? At least give me a hint, Castle!" she asked, going back to her initial topic, trying very hard not to sound like she was begging. He seemed to consider this for a moment. "You will not starve" he said curtly and she cradled her face in her free hand with a hopeless 'Ugh'.

"That's not enough, Castle!" she said and he could feel her glaring at him again.

"But it's a secret!" he tried to defend himself and angled his head to look at her. "Or actually" he mused mysteriously and glanced up to the starless sky, "it's an enigma!"

She just stopped walking and stood there as if glued to the ground. After a few steps he turned and walked back to her, a genuine and likable smile on his lips. He took both her hands in his and stepped closer. "You're really not one for surprises, right?"

"It kind of comes with the job" she said, but the annoyed edge was gone from her voice.

"I'll tell you a little bit about it, then" he decided and started warming her cold fingers with his. "It's sort of a restaurant, but a special one. I won't tell you what the specialty is because that would really just spoil it. But there will be good food, great wine, maybe some tequila…" he said and started to leer, but tried to hide it by bending down and blowing his warm breath onto her fingers. The sensation made her mood change instantly, from slightly annoyed to slightly aroused, and she decided to turn the tables on him.

"You think you know what happens to me when I get drunk" she said, her voice audible to only him, the New York traffic an unique backdrop to her seductive tones. "You wrote about it very vividly in your first Nikki Heat." She stepped closer still and dropped their hands from between them to their sides, but left them entwined. He looked at her with expectant eyes but remained quiet. "'Tentatively, slowly…'" she quoted the ominous page 105 from memory and his eyes grew bigger yet. She leaned in, so that her breath tickled his skin when she talked. "'Each drew an inch closer, each still silent…'" she kept on and turned her face so that her lips almost but not quite brushed his cheek. They were both very aware of her chest touching to his. She turned her face back to his lips, hovering over them, slightly opening her mouth to tempt him even more. "Your fantasies are nothing compared to the reality" she whispered sultry and daringly. She thought he was going to close the minute distance between them, but he angled his head in turn and moved his lips across her cheek, nipping at her skin until he reached her ear.

"You're playing with fire, detective" he purred and she shivered into his touch.

"That's good" she managed to get out and drew away enough to look straight into his eyes "because I like the heat."

* * *

**Note:** _I know I'm mean because now you still don't know where they are going. You'll just have to wait for the next update then. ;)_

_Oh and Heat Wave belongs to Hyperion and its respective owners._


	10. Turn Off The Light

Somehow they managed to get out of that situation without causing any commotion or Beckett having to arrest them both for highly inappropriate PDA. They had continued strolling down some more blocks and Beckett had tried once again to tickle their destination out of him, but he would only repeat that it was an enigma. She decided that it was not important enough for them to fight, so she let it go.

They had been walking for nearly half an hour and her nose and ears were about to freeze off when he suddenly stopped – not a casual 'let's-enjoy-the-moment' stop, but a determined 'there-we-are' kind of stop. They stood in front of a very classical brick building with high ceilings and a rusted fire escape that held an air of the older New York. Beckett looked around for a clue and found a large black design above her head. In white outlining it said 'ENIGMA'.

"Very funny, Castle" she said dryly, but he responded only with a charming show of his best smile that almost seemed to gleam in the darkness of the night. "Don't be so skeptical. You should rather be glad that we're finally there, because I can see your nose falling off from over here." She rolled her eyes but let him lead her around the building to a back door, where a slim figure in a crisp black suit awaited their arrival.

"Castle, what did you do?" she wanted to know but he put his fingers to his lips, pretended to zip them and threw away the imaginary key. "Really? Normally I can't get you to shut up and now you choose to be quiet?" she said and slapped his shoulder. "Jerk."

"Welcome to 'Enigma'" the concierge greeted in a smooth voice when they stepped up to him. "Mr. Castle, Miss Beckett" he said and bowed before each of them in an old-fashioned manner. Beckett stared Castle down again. "You are so going to pay for this" she pressed out between clenched teeth. "Oh I already did, don't worry. I'm sure it will be worth every cent" he answered smoothly, mindfully ignoring the intended meaning of her words. The concierge interrupted the scruffy remark that already laid on her tongue and opened the large glass doors to lead them into the warmth. "As far as I am informed, you have never been to our establishment, Miss Beckett, so I would like to introduce you to it. May I take a minute of your precious time?"  
Beckett nodded, a little bemused.

"'Enigma' is a place of darkness, of feeling and sensual experience" he said mysteriously, "A facility that will provoke sensations that you may never have experienced in such a fashion."  
Beckett almost gasped. "Castle? What did you get me into?"  
He just smiled coyly. "Listen first."

The man smiled too, he was obviously used to this kind of reaction. Or maybe he was used to Castle dragging unprepared young women to this coven, but she shoved that thought aside for later examination.

"Our establishment is nothing obscene, Miss Beckett" the concierge continued. "It is merely a dark restaurant."  
Beckett furrowed her brows. "I will explain, ma'am" he said, but looked at Castle for approval. Castle nodded lightly.

"The dining room that you will be ushered into is completely dark. You will experience this meal with all your senses – except your sense of sight." At her skeptical and frightened look he said "Nothing's going to happen to you, ma'am. Nothing dangerous anyway" he added with a glance at Castle, who just kept on smiling. Beckett angled her head towards Castle and he flinched at the look in her eyes. It left no doubt about her condemnation of his choice for their first date. Her eyes distinctly said 'Richard Castle, you are a dead man'.

The concierge continued unperturbed.

"As Mr. Castle has already ordered the surprise menu we will not spend much time in the lobby" he said and led them into the dimly lit foyer of the 'Enigma'. It was sparely decorated, but chic and welcoming nonetheless. Some of Beckett's tension eased away when she could not spot any indicators that pointed towards barely clad dancers or blood sacrifices.

"I will now take your coats and purses and lock them securely" the man continued and Castle shrugged out of his jacket. When he helped Beckett out of hers, he let his fingers linger a little longer than necessary on her shoulders. He noticed with pleasure that the little hairs on the back of her neck reacted immediately to his touch.

"I will also have to take all of your electronic devices from you. If your watch display emits light, I will have to take your watch, too. I can assure you that you will not need it during the next hours." Beckett glanced to her father's watch. "Mine doesn't, sir" she said to the concierge, "but I will have to keep my phone on me. I'm a police detective."

"Kate, you're not even on call! Just relax for once in your life."  
"Castle…"

"I'm afraid you do not have much of a choice, Miss Beckett" the concierge interjected. "These are our rules. Your eyes will adjust so much to the darkness that even the glow of a cigarette would be enough to light the room." The way he pronounced the word 'cigarette' made her notice for the first time that he had the slightest hint of an accent. Maybe Irish.

"You will not be allowed to proceed unless you leave your phone. Police detective or not" he said with a charming wink. She looked at Castle who looked back at her, expectantly and a little fidgety. The concierge saw the struggle in her eyes and offered a compromise. "I will contact you immediately if your phone rings, Miss Beckett. You have my word."

She gave in and handed him her phone. The concierge proceeded.  
"One of our blind or visually impaired waiters will now lead you to your table in our pitch-black dining room, where you will be served your food. If you require to get up during your stay, may it be for a trip to the restrooms or for your phone," he winked, "just call for your personal waiter and he will guide you out safely. Please do not get up on your own, you will not be able to see a single thing. Oh, the restrooms are lit, of course." He had led them around a corner and through some doors and the light was getting darker with every turn.

"Michael" the concierge called out to a young blond man in a neat white shirt and blue vest.

"This is Michael, he will be your waiter for the evening" the concierge introduced them to the young man, who had his eyes closed but a friendly smile on his face. Castle held out his hand thoughtlessly and to his and Beckett's surprise Michael reached for it, grabbing the wrist first but then moving along Castle's fingers until he could shake his hand firmly. "Good evening, sir. My name is Michael" he said well-behaved and a smile stole its way onto Beckett's face. "I'm Richard" Castle said and took Beckett's hand in his other, moving it up until it touched Michael's. "And this is Kate" Castle introduced and Beckett and Michael shook hands. "It's a pleasure, Michael" Beckett greeted warmheartedly and Michael's smile grew bigger. "The pleasure is all mine" he said and blushed cutely.

"From now on, you are in Michael's very able hands. Be nice to him, you are at his mercy" the concierge grinned and Michael turned his head to where he suspected the concierge to stand. If his eyes had been open, they would have looked straight into those of the concierge.

"I wish you a wonderful evening, Miss Beckett" the concierge said, perfect in form, and bowed again. "Mr. Castle, please regale this lady." He winked again and bowed once more before making his exit. Beckett looked at Castle and a smirk played around the edges of her mouth. "Regale?" she repeated and arched her brow elegantly. Castle was all smiles.

"Now would you follow me please?" Michael said and reached out a hand. "Please hold hands until we reach your table, this way we can make sure that nobody gets lost in the dark." Castle grasped Michael's hand and held out the other to Beckett. Green eyes stared into blue ones when she let her hand slide into his. As darkness enveloped them both, they firmly held on to each other.

* * *

**Note:**_ In case you did not know: These 'dark restaurants' do exist. There is the __**Unsicht-Bar**__ in Berlin, the __**Dans le noir?**__ (Yes, with a question mark!) in Paris and London, many others in Beijing and Hong Kong and some other similar restaurants in Los Angeles and New York. Their techniques may vary from blind staff to night vision goggles to simple black masks for the guests, but the original idea was about giving blind people a chance to have a job and that's why I picked that one. I also think it's the most creative and likeable of those different approaches. The Enigma is of course totally made up. _

_I hope you liked this chapter. It's only an introduction to what will follow, but it was necessary. Feel free to leave a review and yell at me if you thought it was terrible. If you really must, you may leave compliments as well. :)_

_*Lina*  
_


	11. Under The Cover Of Darkness

**Note:** _We've finally made it to the date! But don't worry, this story is nowhere near done yet. ;)_

_Please enjoy!_

_

* * *

_They plunged into infinite darkness. Dozens of impressions threatened to drown them as they blinked their eyes a couple times, trying ineffectively to adjust to the lack of light. The delicious smell of food hung in the air like a luxurious promise. The clutter of silverware, the friendly murmur of conversations and the pleasant laugh of a group of girls filled the warm room. Beckett and Castle tried to get a mental image of their surroundings, guessing the size of the room and the number of tables from the sounds around them.

Michael tucked on Castle's hand to steer him through the rows of tables they only suspected were there. Beckett estimated that there had to be about 30 people in the room. With cautious little steps she followed Castle through the black.

Michael stopped abruptly and only then announced "We're here." Beckett bumped into Castle's side and he chuckled. "Not so fast, detective. I know you're very eager to get your hands on me, but we'll get to that later."  
She knew that he was smiling and probably wriggling his eyebrows, although she couldn't see it. He in turn knew that she had rolled her eyes at him in response. Not only did they not need words, apparently they also didn't even need to look at each other to communicate. He gave her hand a light squeeze, simply because he could.

Michael guided Castle's other hand to what felt like the back of a chair and Castle carefully tried to sit down. He missed the center of the chair by some inches, so that he slumped slightly to one side. Beckett felt awkward holding his hand when he was sitting and she was standing, but he stroked his thumb across the back of her hand and suddenly it didn't feel so awkward anymore.

"Kate?" Michael asked and she felt him touching her shoulder. She let go of Castle's hand and turned to where she thought Michael was standing. He touched along her arm to take her hand and she made a step to the right, the image in her head telling her that's where they were going. "That's the wrong table, Miss Kate" Michael informed her and she blushed. Suddenly she was glad for the darkness.

When they were both comfortably seated and Michael arrived with their first course, they were faced with the first real problems of their temporary blindness. Beckett could feel the knives and forks that were aligned beside her plate, but she didn't even know what they were being served, so how was she supposed to eat it?

"What's the surprise menu?" she asked Castle across the blackness of the table. "Well, duh. It's obviously a surprise!"  
"But how am I going to eat a surprise?"

"I'll tell you where it is" Michael chimed in.  
"And how do _you_ know where it is?" Beckett asked.  
"I learned it" Michael answered simply. "I'm going to describe the location of the food on your plate using a clock analogy. I heard that you are working with the police, Miss Kate, so you should be accustomed to that method."

Beckett took her fork and tried to picture the hidden plate in front of her as a clock. "This is going to be so much fun!" Castle said joyfully.  
"Yeah right. I'm just glad I don't have to clean up the mess I'm going to make."  
"Oh I'd be happy to clean you up afterwards, detective."  
She glared at the darkness in front of her. "I may not be able to see you, Castle, but that doesn't mean I can't kill you!"

Michael interrupted their skirmish. "The first course shouldn't make a mess, Miss Kate. It's merely a salad. You've got slices of tomatoes at ten o'clock, cucumbers at six, carrots at 3 and so on. Just try it out." Beckett poked around at where she suspected was ten o'clock until she felt she'd hit something.

"I got a carrot!" Castle exclaimed victoriously. "This is sooo cool!"  
"Too bad you can't tweet about it. By the way, I'm really impressed. How come you gave up your iPhone without breaking down, Castle?"  
"For you, detective, I'd give up anything. Except maybe that new laser tag gear I bought last week…"  
Because she didn't know exactly where he was she just shot out her leg underneath the table. "Ouch! That was my shin!" he cried and she smiled self-satisfied.

When she took her next bite she felt something smearing her cheek. "Do we have napkins here somewhere?"  
"To the right of your plate" Michael said, reminding them of his presence.  
"Could we get something to drink, Michael?" Castle wanted to know.  
"Drinks are already in front of you, sir."  
"Huh." He felt around the table. "Where?"  
"Two o'clock, above your plate, sir."  
"Oh, right. Thanks" He lifted the glass to his lips and sipped, spurting immediately. "What is this stuff?"  
Beckett laughed shortly, and it ringed wonderfully in his ears. "It's a surprise, _Ricky_."  
He wanted so badly to see her face just then. The 'dark restaurant' idea may have been fun, but it deprived him of the opportunity to study her face, or watch her eyes light up with laughter like he was sure they just had.  
"It's our 'Enigma' drink. If you guess all of the ingredients correctly, you will be served an additional dessert" Michael's voice came from their side.  
"Extra dessert?" Castle repeated and Beckett chuckled lightly because she knew exactly what his face looked like.

Although it was usually him watching her, she knew most of the expressions his face could produce. Although she would never admit it, not even if her life depended on it, she liked watching him. He was certainly nice to look at and his face had so many facets, ranging from childish and goofy to honest and serious, that it fascinated her. He had an excellent poker face, too, but she was a trained detective after all.

"Let me try. I'm good at this" she said and reached for her glass. She leaned down to sniff and had to grimace. "It's awful!" she called out. "I'm not going to drink that!"  
"But our extra dessert depends on it!" Castle pleaded and it sounded like his life depended on it, too. "Nikki Heat would do it" he added casually.  
"No, Nikki Heat would…excuse my language, Michael, but...Nikki Heat would shove this crap down your throat, Castle."  
"Spoilsport…" he grumbled and that put her over the edge.  
"Fine, writer boy! We both guess. If you win, you get my extra. If I win, I get your extra and your regular dessert."  
"Deal!" he said and searched for his glass. "On three. One, Two, Three."

They both took a sip of the liquid and tried to avoid swallowing or spitting for as long as possible. Finally Kate forced the gruesome drink down.  
"Gah!" she heard Castle choke.  
"Okay. Everyone says one ingredient at a time. I start" she declared. "Pineapple juice."  
"Correct" Michael confirmed.  
"Chocolate syrup" Castle proposed and shuddered.  
"Yep."  
"The chocolate is pretty gross. Lemon juice."  
"All in there" Michael confirmed once again.  
"Uhhm. I'd say wine."  
"What kind of wine?" Michael wanted to know.  
"I don't know, red wine?" Castle guessed.  
"Which grape variety?" Michael asked again.  
"A Piemonte Nebbiolo" Kate chipped in.  
"What?" Castle asked incredulously. Michael laughed softly. "The lady wins. I'll be back later with your main course and the desserts for Miss Kate."

"How could you taste that?" Castle queried.  
"Well wouldn't you like to know, Mr. Castle?" she quipped and the sensuality in her voice made him squirm in his chair. "Now, what are you going to do to get your dessert back?" she flirted and brushed a foot against his leg. His breath caught for a second at her bold move and the blood started to drain from his head to lower body parts.  
"What do you want me to do, Kate?" he picked up her banter. Her foot swept to the inside of his leg and moved upwards. He was suddenly really glad for the darkness of the room. "Non lo so. Dimmi che vuoi fare tu" she answered in Italian. He didn't understand a word but he couldn't care less. "I didn't know you speak Italian, signorina Beckett."  
"Makes you want me, right?" she said and lowered her voice to an enticingly secretive whisper. "Vorrei sentire le tue labbra che mi sfiorano."

He cleared his throat to make sure he still had a voice before he spoke. "That was the sexiest thing I ever heard."  
"It would be even sexier if you knew what it meant" she responded and removed her foot from his leg. "What?" he asked, his voice shaky and breathless. "No more playing footsie because I can't speak Italian? I can learn it you know" he offered. "You can teach me" he added insinuatingly.  
"Our food is coming, Castle" she said steadily and it amazed her once again how quickly she could switch gears.

How she knew about the food was beyond him, but only seconds after she said it, Michael spoke up.

"Your surprise meal, ladies and gents. Fish at five o'clock. The rest is up to you to find out. Oh, right. If you want to wash away the traces of that awful beverage we made you drink, there's water in the middle of the table. Be careful when you pour it, please. I'll be bringing wine very soon, but first I'll let you guess the fish."  
"It's grilled salmon, I can smell it from over here already" Beckett said, unaffected.  
"My, you have an excellent nose, Miss Kate. I'll be bringing a Pinot Noir then."

"I didn't know you had such an excellent scent" Castle said and it sounded as if he was pouting.  
"Maybe you don't know me as well as you think, Castle. But I always thought one would serve white wine with fish."  
Castle sighed heavily. "Well at least for once I know something you don't, detective. Generally, white wine is served with fish. It can be served with salmon, too. It wouldn't be wrong, but lately the trend is geared towards complementing salmon, especially grilled salmon, with light red wines."  
"Well."  
"Well? That's all you've got to say?"  
"Yes" she said and didn't quite succeed in keeping her smile out of her voice. "Now: Buon appetito."  
"Hm" he answered, still sulking. Deciding to neutralize the aftertaste of the drink he reached blindly for the water on the table and suddenly brushed against Beckett's hand. She must have had the same idea.  
"Oh, sorry" she said and withdrew her hand, but the flutter in her voice gave her away. Their nerves and senses had been alert all night, the combination of the darkness and each other's presence making their defenses crumble. Something as innocent as the touch of their hands made their hearts gallop in their chests and their skin heat. Lost in the blackness of the room they didn't have to hide their current condition, but it was still too early for Beckett to simply admit to Castle how much he affected her. She was glad when Michael returned with the wine and they could eat for a while, having found an excuse for their silence and an opportunity to calm down.

* * *

**A/N:** _Wow. This was hard to write, but I hope it turned out all right. Please let me know whether you like it. Reviews make my day! _

_PS: Whoever translates the Italian first gets extra cookies :D  
_


	12. Enlightenment

Beckett only made it through half of her first additional dessert so Castle ended up eating most of the dessert anyway, although he had officially lost all of it to the detective. He was munching on Beckett's half eaten chocolate mousse when she spoke up.

"This was a really nice idea, Castle. I had a great time."  
"You're still having a great time. This doesn't have to end yet, you know" he said with his mouth full of the delicacy. Beckett simply grinned, which he of course didn't see.

"Are you still there or did you fall off your chair?" he asked after a minute.  
"I'm still here, Castle. Although I'm wondering why I had Lanie dress me up if we were going to spend the evening in the dark."  
His smile was undeniable when he spoke. "You look absolutely amazing, Kate. You do every day, you don't have to dress up for it. But please don't tell Lanie I said that, I can see she put a lot of effort into your outfit."  
Beckett tried to sound insulted. "It wasn't all Lanie, you know!"  
He laughed, and it made her yearn for him while simultaneously wanting to shoot him.  
"Oh come on, detective. You would have never bought those boots on your own."

Because he had a point, she decided to drop the matter, but he wasn't done yet. "You really do look beautiful tonight, though. I may not be able to see you right now, but I remember how your shirt brings out your eyes and I know how your hair falls around your face. I also might have chosen this place because nobody can take pictures of us in here. I know you don't really aspire to appear on page 6 with me, although I don't understand how one couldn't." His compliments and his thoughtfulness made her blush again, but she hid it in the blackness of the room and simply replied "Thanks", not knowing whether it was for the one or the other, letting him decide how to take it.

Silence ensued again between them while Castle finished off the mousse. "This is great stuff. There's something in there besides the chocolate that makes it special."  
"It's lemon peel" she said. "I think there really must be something wrong with your taste buds."  
"I know a way to find out" he suggested, the wriggling of his eyebrows evident in his voice. "But seriously, I think it's probably just you. Apparently your olfaction and degustation is as extraordinary as the rest of you, Miss Beckett."  
When she didn't reply immediately, he knew that she was blushing, again.  
"Your tongue must be really experienced, too. I wouldn't mind if you tried it out on me" he teased some more, driving her as crazy as he already was.

He felt for the napkin on his table and dabbed at his mouth. "Are you ready to abandon the darkness yet?"  
She considered it for a moment. "I think I really like not having to look at your hideous face, but I'm done eating if that's what you meant."  
"Ugh! You mock me, detective, but what goes around comes around."  
"I don't know, _writer boy_, I must have done something really bad then" she taunted. "Why else would I be penalized with someone like you?"  
"But,_ detective_" he returned with the same mockery, "You mustn't think that my charming presence is a penalty. It's quite the opposite, actually."  
She snorted at that.  
"But if you don't want me, I can leave immediately. Just say the word" he said, but some of the teasing was gone from his voice. Beckett bit her lip. She debated how much she should give up to him and decided that this was time to confirm just what the hell they were doing here. If she didn't get this out now, she probably never would. "I don't think I want you to leave" she uttered into the darkness. "Not in the near future, anyway."

He wanted to ask her about the distant future, but didn't dare to press his luck. Her words were enough for now. Now was all that mattered.

* * *

Their eyes had problems readjusting to the light after more than two hours of darkness. Thankfully the transition was made gradually as they walked through doors and around corners on their way from the dining room back to the foyer. The concierge handed them back their phones and Castle moved to the side to call Alexis while Beckett checked for any voicemail. Surprisingly nobody had called, but as she had expected Lanie had sent about a dozen texts. She left them unopened, knowing what they would say, and looked up to Castle instead. A smile had formed around the corner of his lips and his eyes shone with the light they always carried when he was talking with or even about his daughter. Beckett wondered whether they lit up like that when he talked about her, too, but immediately discarded the thought, scolding herself for letting it slip through her guard. She was not ready to think about that just yet and although she had admitted, even to herself, that she _wanted _him, she just wasn't ready to think about anything further. She didn't deny the desire anymore, but for now it was all she could make herself believe there was.

"Goodnight sweetie. Love you" he ended his call and she pretended to busy herself with her own phone, not wanting to be caught staring at him. "Sorry for that" he said, tucking the phone into his pocket. "Just wanted to check on Alexis."

"She's not 5 anymore, you know that, right?"

"Yeah I know, but I keep forgetting. I can't believe she's a senior now. I don't even want to think about next year."  
Beckett smiled, not needing to contain her feelings when it was about Alexis. She adored that girl. "I can only imagine what it will be like when she leaves for college. I don't think you'll be able to stay away from her for long, though. Please promise you won't be one of those parents who come by every weekend!"  
He chuckled lightly. "Can't promise anything. It'll be new for me, but it will be necessary. She's almost grown now." He shook his head in disbelief.

He buttoned his coat and offered her his right arm, and she took it without hesitation. He waived the concierge a good night and they exited the building. "Was that how it was when you were at the university?" he asked and it caught her off guard. Her entire time at college, her mother's murder, her dad's grief – it was all a little too close to home. It must have shown on her face because he apologized.  
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."  
She appreciated that he stopped nagging her for details and didn't keep digging. His seriousness about the severity of the topic threw her caution to the wind and she decided that life is too short for regrets.

She pulled him flush against her body, pressed him to her in all the right places and stopped with her mouth only an inch from his. He looked surprised, but didn't hesitate to close the distance between them in an innocent, sweet and comforting kiss. They pulled away after a moment, looking at each other with a confusing mixture of uncertainty, hope and need. A tremulous smile dared to spread on her face. "Stay with me tonight" she whispered and he pressed his lips to hers in a mind numbing, tantalizing response.

* * *

**A/N:** _Ta daa! That's all there is for today, but there will be more soon. During the last chapters Beckett felt a lot more like the Beckett that made appearances in the first season, but that doesn't come out to play nearly enough. I hope she's not too much out of character._  
_There will be more Beckett onion layers (among other things) peeled away in the next chapters ;)_

_I decided to change the genre from romance/drama to romance/humor, hoping that it's sometimes funny^^. The case wouldn't cooperate with me anymore.  
_

_If you enjoyed this chapter, feel free to leave a review. If you didn't, please please tell me why! If you don't want to write a review, at least send me some of your warm feelings via Jedi mind force. I'll reply with cyber cookies!_

_*Lina*  
_


	13. Beacon In The Night

**A/N:** _I decided not to go M with this (or at least in my opinion this chapter isn't quite M yet). If you are not comfortable with steamy scenes, you can skip this chapter though if you want to. Don't say I didn't warn you!_

_And now go on and read it. I'm almost confident enough to promise you'll like it. :)_

* * *

They made it to her building without touching, not even holding hands for fear of losing control. It was in the elevator where all their walls came crumbling down.

Their bodies collided in a dizzy storm of passion, lust and longing, their mouths connecting and melting together as if they were one. Castle clutched her hips and held on to her for dear life, finally letting loose all the demons that swelled inside of him.

He wanted to feel her back arch under his touch. Wanted, no, _needed_ to feel her shiver helplessly when his fingertips inched the rim of her top upwards by only an inch and for the first time dug into her bare skin. He nearly came undone when she moaned, the sound vibrating from deep within her. His arms drew her even closer, pressed her to him until nothing separated them but some layers of cotton fibers.

They were Rick and Kate now, Beckett the detective and Castle the writer were somewhere at a faraway place. Consequences didn't matter anymore, they lived only now and here, and now and here was all they needed.

They broke away when the elevator dinged their arrival and hastily rushed to her door. The hormones that were flooding her system like the best of drugs made her hands shaky, so shaky that he had to lay his long fingers on top of hers to steady them when she tried to open the door. As soon as they were inside she felt herself being forced into the nearest wall, his mouth desperately pressing against hers.

Sensations soared through her, breaking free at last after years of climactic refusal. The tempest, the fire, the need, the heat of it all. They tasted, savored, touched, took what they so desperately craved, not merely exploring but conquering.

Rick removed his lips from her mouth and graced her collarbone with feather light kisses. His hands found their way up under her top and caressed her bare back, while she let her nails scrape across the nape of his neck, triggering a new urgency of his movements.

Kate's conscience screamed at her to stop while she still could, but her heart pounded louder than the voice in her head and thereby overruled it. They released each other only long enough to send her shirt sailing to the floor. In one fluid move it was joined by his shiny blue tie. His mouth connected with her newly exposed skin immediately, turning milky white into rosy magnolia. He traced the outline of her sternum with his tongue and bit into her shoulder, which had her whimpering for mercy.

The world slowed around them and yet seemed to pick up speed with every connection they made. Skin on skin, flesh on exposed flesh, lips seeking sweet lips and tongues plunging into wet depths. It was ecstatic. And for lack of a better word, Rick thought, simply extraordinary.

Kate finally lost her patience with his shirt and ripped it off his shoulders, scattering buttons throughout the room but at last exposing a surprisingly trained chest. With a complaisant hum she let her fingers glide along his abdomen, admiring the way his muscles contracted at her simple touch.

She led him backwards through her apartment until they stumbled onto her couch. They wouldn't make it to her bed just yet. When she pinned Rick under her slender body, her hands grabbed his wrists and yanked them upwards. Her lips latched onto his in a frenzied dive, overwhelmed by fiery passion as they moved to the drum roll of their hearts. If he'd still been able to think he would have told her to slow down, but his thoughts drifted off into oblivion as his body worked its way towards salvation.

* * *

They made it to her bed sometime during their second round, breathlessly collapsing into her pillows. After their brains had resumed their function Kate looked him up and down, admiring the view and grinning at the fact that he was wearing nothing but his socks.

"My feet get cold" he said when he noticed her amused expression and it was the first thing anyone had said since they had entered her apartment. She chuckled lightly and bent to pull the covers over them, but when she came up again he had changed his position and surprised her by rolling her over until she was trapped beneath his strong body. "Do that again" he said throatily and she gulped at the sexiness of it. "Do what?" she queried, her blood already heating up again. "Laugh like that" he answered and the absurdity of his request had her laughing indeed. The moment the rumble spilled from her lips he shut her up with his mouth, turning her laugh once again into a yearning sigh.

They were making up for lost years, pushing each other beyond their very limits. In a clash of perception they allowed their lithe bodies to release what their minds still had to figure out, what was still unsaid between them.

After they collapsed once more, Rick pulled her still damp body into his arms.  
She stiffened at the tender embrace, but when he laid her head into the crook of his neck he could feel her muscles relaxing.

He brushed his lips across her forehead and stared into the night with a solemn smile plastered to his face, his eyes shining and glimmering from the feelings running through his head. If he weren't so exhausted he would have started to hum, but he lost his battle with sleep as soon as he heard Kate's breathing evening out.

* * *

**A/N:** _Thoughts? Good, bad, meeh? You want more? You thought it was inappropriate or terrible? Tell me! *pretty please*_


	14. Everything Burns

**A/N:** _You may not like this chapter, but I promise it will get better.  
There's kind of a lot of swearing going on (I tried to hold back on really bad words though), because…well someone gets angry, but please see for yourself! _

_

* * *

_She woke up early the next morning, finding herself disoriented in a tangle of sheets in a bed that was hers but seemed different. He was gone.

The feeling of peaceful happiness she had embraced last night, the delight that had allowed lifting her up high, it all crashed down on her with unknown force. He that climbs high, falls heavily. Now Castle was gone and she felt like a fool. No, worse than that. She felt naïve, cheated and…heartbroken. Although she would not admit that last part just yet.

All her hopes had vanished in that first true moment of waking without him, and now sorrow weighed her down. This was exactly what she had expected of him. A quick tumble in the sheets – or a long, exhausting one in this case – and he would be gone.

And what would happen now? Would he come to the precinct as if nothing had happened and keep shadowing her? That was highly unlikely. He would probably wave goodbye to the 12th with a bright smile and never come back.

Her heart clenched painfully as she remembered last summer and the dreadful feelings that had overcome her every freaking time she'd looked at his empty chair. She would have to get rid of that chair, she mused, swallowing the unsought tears in her throat.

Kate tried to pull herself together. No, she would not cry, not mourn a lover that had only been a lover for one night. Though, what a night it had been. She could not remember a night as passionate as the last one. She blushed at the memories that flashed before her inner eyes, uncalled-for but tellingly sensuous. Images of naked skin and openmouthed kisses, recollections of the ways she'd called out his name in ecstasy.

Kate took all her willpower and got out of bed. She was a strong, independent woman, she told herself. She did not need anyone, especially not Richard freaking Castle. She did not need him in her life, not in her job and certainly not in her bed.

She stood up, tightly tucking the comforter around her nude body, bracing herself against the chill of her apartment and the coldness inside her heart. She was determined to go to work as if nothing had happened. She could do her job just fine without him, she'd been doing it all those years before he'd come around.

She trudged to her kitchen and started coffee for breakfast, already missing the Starbucks delicacies he'd always brought her. While the coffee was brewing she changed into her precinct attire, deliberately picking out an especially formal shirt in order to boost her self-esteem and convey professionalism. She put her hair up in a ponytail and walked to her door to get the paper. She remembered the last time Castle had stayed at her place – not only had the place blown up shortly after, they had also been greeted by a corpse in her hallway. She hoped for no surprises this morning, opened the door and let out a relieved sigh, thanking the powers that be for a lack of dead bodies down the corridor.

She leaned down and picked up the newspaper, but something caught her eye and she dropped it again in wide-eyed shock. This was worse than dead people, this was…. Oh no, that bastard! Sadness made room for anger immediately. "Cazzo! Fetente! Stronzo!" she cursed, reverting to Italian for her tirade. How could she have ever trusted that little…Kate turned her head left and right, expecting someone down the hallway to point a chubby finger towards her and start laughing. When she spotted no one, she disappeared silently into her apartment, feeling like an insidious thief taking the paper from her own doorstep.

Inside, she leaned against the wall and sunk down until she hit the floor.

"AUTHOR OF 'NAKED HEAT' SPOTTED MAKING OUT WITH REAL LIFE NIKKI ON NY STREET CORNER! PAGE 6" it said in the upper right corner of the front page. She would never leave her apartment again, Kate decided at that moment.

She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, once, twice until her head stopped spinning. She peeked with one eye, opened her paper at page 6 and gasped.

Oh in God's name, what had she been thinking? There it was now, her disaster for everyone to see in colored print on white paper. Three big aligned pictures jumped at her, all shot from the same stupid angle from the same damn street corner across from the 'Enigma'.

The first one showed Rick and her strolling down the street, peaceful and unaffected in their own little world. In the second snap shot they were staring intently at each other and in the final picture they locked lips like Adrien Brody and Halle Berry at the Oscars. It was embarrassing.

Kate's eyes went red with rage and fury. Not only had this undeserving creature taken advantage of her, lured her into bed and then disappeared, he had also ruined her life, her reputation and possibly her career. Kate stood up, burning with spite and anger, and ripped the newspaper into tiny shreds. She ripped and tore and stomped her feet until all of her energy was drained from her. Still she would not allow the tears to spill.

She strode to her kitchen and gulped down the hot coffee, burning her tongue but not caring about it, not even feeling the pain. It felt like her mother's murder all over again, only this time she did not allow her heart to shine through, even in the secluded loneliness of her apartment. This time, she rejected the tears and the hurt and the feeling of great loss. She had to be strong, she had to function. This was just the loss of a meaningless guy anyway, how could she ever compare it to the loss of her mother?

But this guy hadn't been meaningless, this guy had made her laugh, had made her believe. And with great retardation Kate Beckett realized that she had fallen in love.

* * *

**A/N:** _Yeah I know I'm really mean. I'm not even sure I like this chapter myself, I think it's way OOC. X(  
I'll have a busy weekend but hopefully update on Sunday. Until then, please scream and curse at me via review if you feel like it!:)_


	15. Extinguish The Sorrow

**A/N:** _Thanks for waiting the couple of days for this update! I know you were all very anxious to see why Castle left. I hope this chapter makes sense, I'll give you more of his reasoning in the next chapter to come. I already started writing it so it may be up tomorrow!_

_Now enough with the preamble. Enjoy!_

_

* * *

_Kate let out a resigned sigh. She was not in the mood for this. All those past years she'd managed to push her feelings away, put them in a box and forget about them. They chose to break free now that it was too late, now that Castle had proven once and for all how shallow his feelings for her really were. It was not enough to have been left hanging after a night of passion like that, it had to be combined with the epiphany of realizing that she was in love with said betrayer of her trust.

To top it all off she had managed to somehow end up with half a page in a well-established newspaper. She hadn't bother to read the article before destroying the paper, knowing that she would not like what it said, assuming that it would be enough for more than just a mere 15 minutes of fame. She wanted her life back, the way it had been before Big Rick had made his appearance.

She trudged to her bathroom to get ready for the no doubt miserable day she was going to have and was greeted with the third shock of the day. Red letters smeared her big bathroom mirror and being the cautious cop she was Kate stopped dead in her tracks at the first sight, assuming immediately that it was blood. Her heart missed a beat and she froze in the hallway, her mind speeding a mile a minute.

Since she was unharmed, on the outside anyway, the only other source of blood she could think of was Castle and the thought of that clouded her sight and made her see a red flash behind her eyes. As much as she hated him right now, he was still her partner and if anyone threatened or hurt him, she would put her life on the line to save him in a heartbeat. Also, if she protected him now she could always kill him later.

Trembling, she tip-toed backwards into her living room and silently took her service piece out of the drawer. Her detective-mode switched back on and calmed the riotous feelings inside of her for the moment. She crept back towards her bath, her back to the wall and her gun aimed at the half-open door with both hands.

"Police!" she called out, her voice controlled and demanding. "If anybody is in there, let me see your hands, now!"

She switched walls so that she was at the left side of the door, allowing her to peek into the room without putting herself in the line of fire. "Castle, are you in there?"

She angled her head and when she glimpsed at the mirror again she sighed heavily and put her gun down. She leaned against the door frame and closed her eyes for a minute, trying to quiet the pounding of her heart.

It was lipstick, for heaven's sake! How could she have been so dumb! But no, she had just been cautious and alert and done the right thing, Kate told herself. Still, it felt so stupid now that she knew what it was. She opened her eyes again and stepped into her bathroom to take in the artwork Castle had left and thereby involuntarily scared her out of her mind.

The golden case of a lipstick laid on the edge of her sink, stirring the anger inside her with its innocent neatness. She looked up to read the message that filled the entire space of her almost wall-to-wall mirror.

_Awake at last, fair princess!_

_Cruella de Vil has been charged for disorderly conduct and calls for her heroic son to bail her out once more.  
Prince Charming runs to her rescue, leaving the Sleeping Beauty behind  
to get some more rest before her occupation eventually disturbs her fairytale._

_Have I mentioned how happy I am that we did what we did last night? _

_Anyway, my dearest, may I abduct you from your tower tonight in order to take you to dinner?  
Please send a homer to my castle and let me know. I already miss you._

_Your knight in shining armor_

"Bastardo!" Kate cursed aloud. He's always had a way with words. Kate had to smile despite herself, trying very hard to contain it but in the end incapable. It didn't change anything, she tried to convince herself. She was still mad at him, no matter what circumstances forced him to leave. Even if he had been called in by the President in person – he'd left without waking her up and that was inexcusable.

Just a quick kiss and a Schwarzenegger-style "I'll be back" would have been enough. Wait! A kiss? No, no, that was not what she wanted! Kate shook her head vehemently, flinging her hair from left to right. "I am mad at him. He was bad" she repeated like a mantra.

She was obviously going insane. Something must have been in that awful drink last night at the restaurant. It must have shut off her brain function like a power switch.

Kate stood in her bathroom and looked at her own reflection in the mirror.

Her cheeks were red, flushed first with disappointment, then with pain, anger, fear and finally embarrassment, all in a matter of minutes. Her hair was a tangled post-coital mess, hugging her shoulders with thick, brown waves.

Her eyes displayed the turmoil that was raging within her, a wild mixture of red fury, unshed tears and eventually something bigger. This something started as a tingle in her toes, was a flutter in her stomach and a shiver down her neck, the ghost of a warmth on her lips and a quivering beat of her heart.

And suddenly, slowly and tremulous, a smile dared to tug at her mouth. She looked so wild and free and _happy. _She couldn't remember the last time she'd looked in the mirror and saw someone smiling back at her.

Her smile eased away a little and instead an eyebrow rose when her phone rang.  
There were three options available, she mused. Lanie, Castle and the precinct.

If it was Lanie and Kate let it go to voicemail, Lanie would either assume that she was 'busy' with writer boy or keep calling until Kate lost the last remaining piece of her mind.

She was not ready to talk to Castle just yet, so she hoped it was the latter option.

If it was the precinct she would have to take it and it would actually be a welcome distraction from the array of thoughts in her head.

On her way to her living room she stepped on something and looked down to find that it was a button. She blushed a little but then started grinning smugly when she remembered how she'd ripped Castle's shirt off of him. She wondered how he'd looked when leaving her apartment, shirt torn, sex hair and all.

In a pile of clothes by her couch she finally found her phone on its fourth ring.

* * *

**A/N:** _Hope you can all live with this chapter. Tell me whether you love or hate it? If I offer cookies? According to rumors, reviews are love. ^^_

_If you're kind enough to read this, I have a request. As you may or may not have noticed my chapter titles always refer to something related to fire or light. Unfortunately, in about 5 chapters I will have run out of title ideas. (this one was already a little lame...)_  
_I do not want to repeat words I already used but my word pool is limited because I'm not a native English speaker. If you have any ideas for fire/heat/light-related words or even phrases, please drop a line. It would really help. Thank you very much! :))_


	16. Scorching Embers

**A/N:**_ This one contains mild spoilers for 3x02 'He's dead, she's dead'.  
I worked real hard to get it up this soon. Thank me by leaving a comment?  
Enjoy! _

_

* * *

_"Dad?"  
"Hi Katie. Can you talk right now? I mean…Are…Are you alone? Because I was going to ask you…I just…Are you okay?" her father asked incoherently.  
"Yes, I'm fine. I'm home. Why? Dad, did something happen, are you alright?" Kate wanted to know, alarmed and a little worried about the unexpected call.

"Yes, Katie, I'm fine. Listen, Mrs. Bredow from across the street said something about you being in the paper so I got one and saw this article and…"  
"I've seen it, Daddy" she sighed.  
"Oh. Yes, good, I mean…Not good… Is it the truth? Are...are you with this writer now?" Her father paused on the other end of the line and Kate lifted her hand to her forehead. What was she going to tell him? She sighed once more, heavily. "I don't know, dad" she answered truthfully. "It's complicated."

"Huh. Complicated." The line was silent again but for a static hissing noise.

"Just don't get hurt, Katie" her father told her and she eased her hand down, some of her irritation gone. "I know you like him" he added and her lips curved into a smile.

"I do, dad" she had to admit, unable to lie to her father. "But I'll be careful. Thank you for calling" she said, softly now that she had realized her dad was simply worried about his little girl.

"Nothing to thank me for, my dear. I just wanted to make sure you're alright" he said warmly, his worries, too, starting to ease away.

"So where are we going for Thanksgiving this year?" she asked cheerily, deciding to drop the topic of her and Castle and instead take advantage of talking to her dad after what must have been at least two months of silence.

* * *

"Thanks for coming by and getting me out of this little misunderstanding, darling" the Grand Damn stated and kissed her son's cheek with the grandeur of a diva. "It was truly horrible in there! They didn't even have sanitizers in that dark hole they call cell" she fretted, underlining each word with an innate dramatic gesture.

"I would never abandon my sonly duties, mother" Rick answered and led her past the officers. "But you must promise to stop having parties on other people's rooftops in the middle of the night. With _my_ precious liquor, if I may add."

"Well one day you'll be my age and then you'll think differently about it" Martha said when they exited the station. She wore a pink dress that had smiling flamingos printed on it and a coat with enough fur to clothe a whole family of beavers. "Anyway, how come you were here so fast? Traffic can't be too bad if you managed to get here in 20 minutes."

Rick grinned charmingly. "That's because I didn't come here from the loft. I was at Kate's tonight."

"At Detective Beckett's place? Now what were you doing there, son? Did you two get into trouble again?" Martha queried, one eyebrow elegantly raised.

"Nope, not that I know of. But you should get used to calling her Kate. She'll be coming over a lot more often now, I suppose."

His mother's mouth gaped open in amused shock. "Richard, darling! You mean to say you and Miss Beckett finally figured out what the whole world knew all along? Well congratulations, then!" she encouraged him.

He acknowledged it with a happy nod and for the first time since he'd arrived Martha noticed the gleam in his eyes and the extra spring in his step. She also noted that his coat was ineffectively hiding a dark blue shirt without buttons, and smirked.

"Didn't Alexis tell you that I went on a date with her last night?" Rick wanted to know but his mother shrugged it off with her long, gracious fingers.  
"I guess I don't remember as much as I used to, darling. It comes with my old age. I'm not old enough yet to get away with everything I do, but old enough to forget my own name sometimes."

"Maybe the scotch last night helped along with that" Castle uttered under his breath, but she heard him and slapped his chest.  
"I'm not deaf!" she scolded indignantly.

He smiled at her. "Yet."

They kept strolling along the sidewalk, seemingly without destination. "I guess I would remember something as important as my son's love life, though" Martha mused and eyed her son. "You told her how you feel about her, right?"

Rick averted his gaze and watched grey pigeons dive through the air above him. "I guess we haven't had time to discuss that, yet. You said to come immediately and I didn't want to wake her, so I let her sleep…"

"You did what?" his mother shrieked and stood abruptly. "Richard Alexander Rodgers!" she shouted and he flinched at the use of his full name.

"You did NOT leave that poor girl alone and let her wake up without you by her side! Not to mention how unmannerly it is to have sex with her after just the first date! Didn't I teach you anything about…"  
"But I left a note!" Rick chimed in and tried to cut his losses.  
"A note!"  
"Yes, and it was a cute one, too!" he said and then added "I wrote it on her bathroom mirror with a lipstick!" bouncing like a kid on Christmas.  
"On her bathroom mirror! With her lipstick? Richard you have no idea what you've gotten yourself into! She is going to be mad at you for a long time after this. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if she never talked to you again after…" she trailed off, the look on her face suddenly wary, the lines around her mouth hard but her eyes soft with something close to sadness, fixed on something behind his shoulders. "Oh my, Rick. You might be in deeper trouble than you think."

And then he turned around and followed her line of sight. Behind him stood a newsstand, papers and magazines piling up on both sides of the owner's little peep hole opening. Rick spotted immediately what his mother had noticed - his own name in bold letters in the upper corner of the Times. Upon reading the headline his teeth clenched together and he strode agitatedly to the newsstand. He snatched a paper out of its rack and flipped it open to page 6, gripping it so hard that it rumpled and ripped.

"Hey Mista! You gonna have to pay fo that if you destroy it, bro!" the owner called out to him but he didn't listen. Martha stood in front of him and gently touched his arm, but he didn't respond, only saw the images in front of him, only heard the blood whooshing in his ears. He gripped the paper so tightly that his knuckles were white and his nails were digging into his own palms, but the terror of what he saw and what it would mean to Kate were stronger pains to him. How was he ever going to be able to make that up to her?

"You might be right, mother" he said at last. "Maybe she's never going to talk to me again."

* * *

**A/N:** _Hmm. Didn't turn out exactly how I wanted, but you and I will both have to live with it._  
_Thanks to everyone who provided me with inspiration for chapter titles! You all get twice the amount of cookies (and maybe some gingerbread ;D )_


	17. Radiating Trouble

**A/N:** _After reading the agonizing but sublime finale of Father Vengeance's fic the night before last I was too shattered to write anything yesterday, but today I made up for it a little! If you haven't checked this ff out yet, do so immediately (but only if you have nerves of steel!). It's called 'Towers that Crumble' and can be found here on . [Hope you don't mind me advertising your story here, FV ;)]_

_Oh and thanks to Bella Paige for inspiring me!^^  
Now please enjoy!  
_

* * *

After Kate had spent a reasonable amount of time trying to clean up her bathroom mirror - taking a picture first, of course – she had left for work. The citrusy smell of the dish-washing liquid she'd used still lingered on her when she stepped out of the precinct elevator.

A small crowd was huddled around Esposito's desk, where several newspapers were spread out. Esposito, holding what looked like a list of data, laughed hard and then collected a sightly roll of money from a rather grudgingly looking officer.

Ryan, who was standing to his partner's left but faced the entrance, didn't seem too happy either. However, his mood sunk even lower when he spotted Beckett. He knew immediately that they were screwed.  
Beckett looked like a boiling tea kettle with steam puffing out of her ears, like an angry dragon facing starry-eyed farmers with pitchforks. Ryan cleared his throat and the other officers looked up and tried to hide what they were doing, but the situation they were caught in was telling and there was no way she could have missed what they were doing.

"Beckett" the captain called from the other side of the room and Ryan blew out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. Captain Montgomery's voice stopped the furious detective halfway through the room and she turned to see him signaling for her to come to his office. She darted one last deathly stare at the boys, clearly expressing that this wasn't over yet, and disappeared into Montgomery's office.

"Before you say anything, captain" she said as soon as she was inside, not even giving him enough time to open his mouth. "I can assure you that whatever there is between me and Mr. Castle will not interfere with my work. He won't distract me any more than he already does, but if you fear that his shadowing is preventing me from doing my job, you're going to have to talk to the major about this, because I'm not sure I can convince him to stop what he's doing."

Montgomery's face was serious, a mask like always. He was her boss after all and he was not getting paid for prying into his detectives' private lives. His eyes sparkled with a mischievous joy though and Beckett started to wonder if he'd placed a chunk of his money in the office pool, too. "That's good to know, Beckett" he said calmly and handed her a couple of papers across his desk. "I hadn't assumed anything else, though. Whatever you and Mr. Castle do when you're off the job is beside the point. I was actually just going to confirm your application for leave during Thanksgiving week."

"Oh" she said featherbrained and simply stood there with the papers in her hand.

"That was all" the captain told her and sat down at his desk. He looked up again when she didn't move.

"Oh, right. Thanks" she mumbled and finally left his office. Montgomery allowed himself a second to smile and shook his head about his best detective's perplexity.

* * *

"Well then do something about it!" Rick yelled into his iPhone and pushed the doors to the 12th open with an angry shove of his shoulder, carefully balancing the two coffee cups in the other hand. "That's what I pay you for, Paula!" he barked and listened to his agent's reply on the other end of the line. "Yes I know it was stupid to kiss her on the sidewalk. I just couldn't help it, okay? Anyway, I'm a celebrity but Kate isn't! Do you have any idea what she's going to do to me when she finds out she's in the paper?"

He listened again and tried to reach the button for the elevator with his knee. "And that's going to be better? No, Paula, I have to get this straight! They can't just write stuff like that about a police detective, can they? I mean can't we just sue them and force them to correct the article…Free speech? Well, screw free speech! They wrote she was 'just another fling' and that I'd get bored with her and dump her before the end of the year!"  
Paula interjected his rant, but apparently said something that made him even madder. "No of course she's not! Oh come on, Paula, I'm shallow, but not that shallow. They sounded more worried about what was going to happen to the Nikki Heat series if we break up than to her!"

He got into the elevator and listened to Paula's suggestions. "Fine!" he spit and pressed the 'End Call' button, wishing he'd have a clamshell phone instead that he could just slam shut. He slipped the phone into his back pocket and shifted the coffees around.

When the elevator dinged open he almost ran into Beckett, who was impatiently standing right before the doors.

"Get back in there" she ordered and he was too stunned to reply. "Murder on 9th Avenue" she said as if to justify herself. Her glare told him that she was not in the mood for jokes and he wondered if she already knew about the article or if she was just mad at him for leaving her alone. Her eyes radiated more anger than pain, though, so he suspected that she'd seen and read it. He offered her the grande skim latte with two pumps of sugar free vanilla she always had and prayed she would take it. If she rejected it, his problems were far bigger than anything he'd ever experienced before, but thankfully she didn't. She got into the elevator and turned away from him, staring holes into the ceiling and nipping at her coffee until the doors closed.

**A/N:** _I know you were all waiting for Beckett/Castle interaction but I had to write this chapter before we can get to that! I, too, am tired of the drama and angst and need a little more fluff soon, but it just couldn't be done yet. The good news is that the next chapter is already partially written and includes a scene that you will hopefully enjoy if you're a sucker for fluff like me!_

_Reviews?_


	18. Sizzling Situations

**A/N:** _I loved your reviews and therefore typed twice as fast as I usually do to get this up for you today! Finally after 4 straight chapters of separation, frustration and deep thinking our favorite duo is reunited and you are treated to some fluff! It's not a long chapter, but it's reasonable to end it where I did because I felt this scene does best on its own. Please enjoy!

* * *

_

"Shut up, Castle" Beckett said without looking at him and he turned to her in surprise.  
"I didn't say anything" he said and raised an eyebrow.  
"Yes, but you were going to" she answered harshly and nipped at her coffee once more.  
"I wasn't going to do anything!" he told her and tried to sound offended.  
"Oh please!" she said and rolled her eyes. "It was all over your face."  
"But you didn't even look at me!"

She turned around and her heated glare made him wish she hadn't.

"But if I had looked at you, it would have been all over your face!" she clarified, pointing an accusing finger at him. Her eyes stared him down with unwavering fury and the air around her seemed to sizzle with anger. "Do you have any idea what this does to my reputation? I'm going to lose all my credibility as a cop! I'm never going to be able to testify in a court again, if all the jury knows of me is a picture of me smooching with a wealthy novelist on a dark street corner!" she gnarled, backing him up against the elevator wall without touching him, her words powerful enough to have him staggering uncomfortably.

"Do you think that's what I intended when I kissed you?" he returned exasperated.  
"I don't know what you intended, but I know what came out of it!" she screamed and pushed the emergency button on her right to ground the elevator to a halt.

"I know that I'm on the front page of a nationwide newspaper and I don't like it! I know that I'd like to hide in my apartment and be ashamed for the next two decades! I know that right now I would like to mangle you and have grizzly bears eat your pieces! You should have known, Castle! You are the VIP, you are the one with the crazy fans and the paparazzi! What were you thinking?"

"What was I thinking?" he asked incredulously and pushed off the elevator wall to step right back into her personal space. "I was thinking that I'd really like to kiss you, that you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and that I'm so very happy to be on a date with you! I'm sorry if I was too distracted by my feelings for you to pay any attention to a secretly lingering paparazzo!" he screamed back at her, turning the tables unexpectedly. Her lids fluttered and her cheeks flushed at his sudden manifestation. She feared to drown in his flickering blue eyes and dropped her gaze, focusing instead on a spot on his neck right above his shirt.

"It's not as if you were opposed to it, either!" he continued and her eyes started to nervously roam over his chest. "You practically threw yourself at me, what was I going to do?" Castle continued, but she wasn't listening anymore.

That broad chest of his. She knew what it would feel like if she just reached out and touched it, let her fingers trail down to his stomach and feel him clenching his muscles in response. It was just one step. One small step and she'd be right there, right there in his arms.

It would only take one second to wrap her arms around him and then she could feel him, take him in with all her senses. That luscious, masculine scent would reel her in and rid her of all worries. She would reach down to plant kisses right at the crook of his neck, her tongue would slip out to taste his salty skin and his head would fall back to give her better access. She would grip his shoulders and nip at his collarbone, then stretch until she found that sweet spot right above his pulse that she knew would make him shiver. She'd just have to suck on it gently and any further action would be superfluous – he would lose control.

He'd raise those hands he'd kept desperately clenched at his sides, yearning to touch her but not daring to, fearing that once he started, he wouldn't be able to stop.

He would raise those hands then and grip her arms, pushing her away at first but upon seeing into her eyes pulling her close again. His lips would latch on to hers, she was sure. His mouth would feel hot and demanding and all her anger and pain would ease away. He'd press her into his body, longing to touch every millimeter of her, to caress her with his hands, and then she'd do that thing with her tongue he liked so much and he'd moan and then…

"Hey!" Castle yelled, probably not for the first time, and Beckett snapped back to the present, immediately blushing at her daydream.

"I said I don't like it either, but there's nothing I can do about it" Castle repeated, but she simply stood there dumbfounded. "I told Paula to fix it, but I'm not sure it's going to help."

Her brain clicked back on and she got over her embarrassment. "Okay" she said softly and turned away from him.

"Okay? What do you mean, 'Okay'?" he mimicked and gestured wildly with his hands. "You just yell at me for a couple minutes, look at me like you want to eat me alive and then say it's 'Okay'?"

"Yes" she answered and released the elevator again.  
"No! That can't be it! We were treated badly by stupid paparazzi, you're mad for a reason and I'm mad too, so don't just tell me it's 'Okay' because it really…"  
"Castle?" she interrupted and he stopped his rant and let his hands fall to his sides.  
"Yes?"  
"Shut up."  
"Okay."

* * *

**A/N:** _I have bad news and good news._  
_Good news: I know where this story is going and I have some ideas for the next chapter._  
_Bad news: I probably won't update until Monday, unless a miracle happens and frees me of all the stuff I need to do. I am really sorry for that, but at least I was able to give you this little chunk of squealy fluff before the long wait! Don't kill me, okay? If you review a lot (I know you can do it!) you'll get another 3 chapters before Christmas! :)_


	19. Illumination

**A/N:** _Long inspiring weekend is over. You did okay with the amount of reviews, but I know you can do better! ;)_

_But of course I love you all anyway. Now Enjoy!_

_

* * *

_It wasn't until they were weaving their way through the New York traffic in Beckett's Crown Vic that Castle spoke up again.

"We're going to have to talk about this" he said and looked at her, radiating a kind of testing expectation.

"We just did, Castle" she responded dryly and stopped at a red light.  
"I don't mean the article, I mean us" he tried again and she stole an irritated glance at him. "There is an us, right?" he asked tentatively, almost shy, and this honest side of him made Beckett's insides nervously jump around.

"You tell me. You're the one who left this morning" she said softly, the words out of her mouth before she could decide if she really wanted to say them. She really didn't feel like talking about this now, especially not in her car on their way to a crime scene.

"It was stupid of me, I know that now. I didn't think it through" he said and again his honesty surprised her. She fixed her gaze to the road in front of her, glad for the convenient and reasonable excuse it offered her for not looking at him. She told herself that his guilty plea didn't change anything, that he couldn't make up for things that easily, that she was still mad at him, that his abandonment of her this morning was inexcusable…Besides, he hadn't even apologized! But despite her struggle she could feel her anger leveling off.

"I'm sorry for leaving and I'm sorry if I hurt you, Kate" he said and she silently cursed herself for jinxing it. Still, his sincere voice and the use of her first name caught her off guard.

Castle sighed. "I really, really enjoyed last night. And I don't just mean the double rainbow awesomesauce sex, I mean just us being together. I liked that."

Beckett could feel herself breaking, could feel her walls crumbling down and her defenses shaking. She fought against capitulation even though she knew it was a fight in vain.

"Please say something" Castle said and she realized she hadn't given him any kind of reaction yet. It was her turn to sigh when she decided to offer him the same honesty he'd offered her. Honesty was a virtue she treasured and although she hid a lot of herself in trying to protect her heart, she couldn't lie to him in this matter.

"I found the paper before I found your note" she uttered quietly and the honking of an angry driver behind them made him almost miss it. His expression turned from expectant to shocked to fearful as the meaning of her words slowly dawned on him.  
He seemed to shy away from her and sink to the bottom of his seat, fully believing that she was going to hit him any minute. This was even worse than what he had thought. He knew she was mad at him for leaving, for the article even, but the shock that must have overwhelmed her when she had woken without him, the anger that had reigned free when she hadn't found the note first, like he had hoped, but the disastrous article instead – it was hardly believable that he still had all his limbs.

Despite herself a faint smile stole its way onto her face. "I'm not going to kill you, Castle" she said and he visibly released a deep breath. Another light turned red in front of them and she used the opportunity to really look at him. His blue eyes flickered like a candle now, not beaming as steadily as they usually were. "I liked us being together, too" she admitted. More than is probably healthy, she added in her mind, but left it unsaid.

Because she feared to lose herself in his eyes she turned away again and chose to change the topic. At least a bit.

"Did you know that half the precinct bet on us?"

Castle's earnest face lightened up and he allowed himself a proud grin. This was more like him, Beckett realized with relief – This Castle she knew how to handle.

"Ryan and Espo?" he wanted to know with a raised eyebrow. She just nodded her head.

"What did you do about it?" he asked giddily, excited to find out how she punished the boys.

"Nothing" she answered to his surprise.

"Nothing? Usually you would be all over them! And how do you even know the right one got the money?" he noted, slightly disappointed that she hadn't at least ordered them to do paperwork in Iceland for the rest of the millennium or something as harmless as that.

"What do you mean, 'the right one'?" she asked, bemused at his nonsensical thoughts.

"Well I bet…no pun intended…that they bet on the date of our first kiss. But they don't know that the kiss in the paper wasn't our actual first kiss, so the person who got the money probably wasn't even right on the date!" Castle's voice grew more and more agitated as his mouth raced to keep up with his mind. "I mean, there were a couple of kisses leading up to this one and I think it's morally wrong for us to allow the wrong person to collect the money…"

"Three" she mumbled and he interrupted his babble.

"What?"

She realized that he wouldn't let it go, so she came out with it right away.  
"We kissed three times before the one time that ended up in the paper."

His face lit up with delight and she couldn't help but roll her eyes.  
"Ohh, so you're counting? I didn't know you were one of those kind, detective" he purred playfully and she blushed.

"Well don't flatter yourself, Castle. You're just another notch on my bedpost" she teased and he gaped at her in mock horror.

"Isn't that usually the guy's line?" he asked and she smiled, the tension and anger draining away from her with every joke they made. Somehow he had that effect on her. She just couldn't stay mad at him for anything.

* * *

**Note:** _Some of you suggested Lanie action and I promise we're getting there (hopefully in the next chapter). I just wanted to let you know that if you have any kind of suggestions, anything you want to see happening, feel free to tell me! I can't promise anything, but I usually write as I post, so you have time to get in your ideas even on short notice. ;)  
_

_Hope you all enjoyed your weekend (and my story^^). Ready for Christmas yet?_


	20. Blazing Threats

**A/N:**_ Yay for all the reviews! I'm behind on the replies, but I'll get there eventually.  
_

_I kind of wish I hadn't established pre-Thanksgiving as a time for this fic, because right now I really feel like writing some Christmas fluff... _

_Anyway, please Enjoy!_ :)

* * *

When they arrived at the scene, Beckett's grin faded away, being replaced by her professional cop face. Her eyes roamed over the surroundings, taking in every little detail and storing it in a corner of her mind in case it turned out to be important some time later. She found Lanie crouched over a body in a large pool of barely dried blood on the sidewalk, a wide-ranging part of which had been barred from the on-looking spectators with bright yellow crime scene tape. Beckett held it up with one hand, ducked under it and let it go, causing a light grumble from behind her when it snapped down on Castle, who was following as close as always.

While he was disentangling himself from the tape the medical examiner stood up and fisted her gloved hands on her hips.

"Good morning, Lanie" Beckett greeted but her friend just eyed her with an accusingly arched eyebrow.

"Nu uh, Missus. Ain't nothin' good about this morning. I've got my Louboutins in half a gallon of blood and my best friend is in the paper making out with a rich and famous author and no, Castle, that was not a compliment" she said sourly without looking at him. "I'm gonna have a talk with you later today, do you understand me?" she stated towards Beckett but didn't wait for a reply. "With you, too, you…" she gnarled and desperately pointed her clenched fists in the writer's direction. "Oh I don't even have a word for you right now!" she spit at Castle, who flinched at the obvious threat in her voice but raised his hand anyway to wave hello with his pinky. She ignored him and gestured instead to the tall building behind her. "Victim came flying from up there. Rooftop, I'd guess. Not much left of him after a jump like that. What is it with you bringing me all these garbled people lately?" she asked, awaiting no answer yet again.

"From what's left of the body I can only tell you it was a white male, older than 20 and younger than 90"she said, definitely speaking as a professional now, storing her attitude away for a later encounter.

"20 to 90? That's probably the biggest window you've ever given us" Castle wondered aloud and she nodded her head. "Yeah it probably is. Basically I can only tell you that he wasn't a child anymore. Until I get him to the lab, that is."

"Homicide or suicide?" Beckett wanted to know but Lanie just coyly shrugged her shoulders. "That's your job, not mine" she said and turned to her corpse again, having said whatever she had to say.

Beckett and Castle entered the 12-story building in front of them and headed for the elevators. Castle's phone chimed "Dad! Dad! Dad!" just as the elevator doors closed behind them. Castle had pondered reaching Alexis earlier today to warn her when he'd found out about the article, but decided against it when he'd remembered how much his daughter abhorred getting called during school hours.

"Hi sweetie" he greeted and patiently listened to Alexis' agitated response, his iPhone pressed to his ear.

Beckett could only make out snippets of the conversation from her position next to Castle, but it sure sounded as if his daughter was angry and just a little worried. From what she knew about Alexis, the anger was directed more at the paparazzi and journalists than at Castle, per se.

Beckett adored the girl so much she would maybe even admit to it if one were to ask her. Alexis always put a smile on the detective's face, no matter how horrible the day had been. Something about the witty, charming and bubbly, but always wholehearted personality of the teenager reminded Beckett of herself when she was younger. Long before her mother had been murdered, she had been quite like Alexis. As she'd gotten older, she'd turned wilder and her rebellious side had peeked through more often when the well-behaved model pupil reputation had gotten too boring. Seeing Castle interact with his daughter made her yearn for those younger days, but also left her feeling surprisingly honored and rewarded to be part of those rare moments of fatherhood he shared with her. Of all the different faces and layers Castle had, this fatherly side had been the one she'd fallen in love with right from the beginning. It was a part of him that she had no doubts about, an emotional side she was sure was more than a mask or a pretense.

"Yes, pumpkin, I'm fine. No, she hasn't killed me yet" Castle said and winked at Beckett. She blushed a little when she realized that she'd been staring at him and was glad that they had reached the rooftop, leaving the elevator rather quickly to avoid his proximity. When she stepped out onto the open roof, he stayed behind to finish his call.

When he joined her about five minutes later, Ryan and Esposito were at his side and the three of them were eagerly chatting away. "Really, how much did he bet?" Castle wanted to know from Ryan, who turned quiet the second he spotted Beckett watching them from the end of the rooftop. But of course Castle didn't get the hint and babbled on. "I really can't believe this has been going on for so long without me or Beckett noticing. You must have been really sneaky" he said, a hint of pride in his voice. "Hey Beckett, did you know that even the Captain bet on us?" he called over at her. "Apparently there are 26 people at the precinct who thought we'd eventually kiss! I wonder how they got that idea…" he went on, but stopped when he came close enough to take in her facial expression. Her gaze told a story about torture, about slow and painful death and no mercy. A chill raced down the back of his neck even though he was pretty sure that her stare was directed at the boys.

"Are you afraid of heights, Detective Esposito?" she asked quietly, her voice a cold and crisp threat that seemed to come straight out of a Hannibal Lecter movie. Esposito wordlessly shook his head no. "What about you, Detective Ryan?" she asked once more and the use of their titles would have been enough to let every alarm bell in their minds ring a sonata. Ryan hesitated, not sure what she was getting at, but negated at last.

"Too bad" Beckett simply stated, the distinct serial killer quality to her voice seemingly making the temperature on the roof drop with every word.

"My punishment would have been way easier if you were. But now I'll think of something else to make you suffer. You'll find out when I've made my decision" she said and the psychopathic smile on her face made the two detectives and even Castle gulp around the lump of fear in their throats. Beckett simply turned around and, content with herself, strode off along the balustrade.

* * *

**A/N:** _The "Dad Dad Dad" ring tone is from season 1. I don't remember what Alexis' ring tone is during season 2 or 3 or whether it has actually ever been shown. _

_If this is my last update before Christmas (It doesn't have to be, I might update tomorrow ;) ) I wish you all a very merry Christmas (or whatever holiday you might celebrate) and a serene time with all your loved ones!_

_Also, reviews are kind of like virtual christmas presents. Just saying.  
_


	21. Glimmer Of Hope

Later that day Beckett received a very authoritarian call from Lanie that dictated her to come down to the morgue. The conversation that ensued – if one could call it a conversation, because Lanie did all the talking – consisted of a whole lot of inventive swear words and precious pieces of advice like 'stop making out in public'. Lanie went on and on about Kate's reputation, her credibility as a cop and the stupidity of Castle – it all sounded an awful lot like Kate's monologue earlier that day.

Although Lanie had always been the one to push Kate towards Castle, she protected her like family, because that was what Kate was to her – family. And although her excitement over the pictures in the paper had inspired one hell of a make-out session with Esposito this morning, the joy of writer boy and Kate finally hitting it off had quickly made room for the realization that the article really wasn't such a wonderful thing after all. It had made Lanie a reasonably grumpier person when it had dawned on her what kind of effects this article would have on her friend's life.

"Won Esposito a nice chunk of money, though" she added at the end, a smug grin now plastered to her face. "He's takin' me to that new fancy place on Broadway tonight, thank you very much." And with that and a hearty hug she dismissed her friend and ordered for Castle to come down to the halls of death.

Castle obeyed Lanie's wishes, but was slightly smarter than Kate because he came with presents. When he entered the autopsy room, he held a large box of tasty Swiss chocolate in his outstretched arms. It was a peace offering, really. A please-don't-kill-me-I'm-awfully-sorry kind of gesture that made the medical examiner smile. She did like him after all. Besides, how could a girl resist the world's best chocolate from a handsome man at her mercy?

She intimidated him, her petite stature no obstacle at all, but only for the good of 10 minutes. Then her angry and tense features grew soft and her voice got calmer and friendlier. She even thanked him at last, "for makin' ma gurl laugh and loosen up a lil".

"You know you make her happy, right?" she said in a more serious tone and he grimaced.  
"Does she know that, too?" he asked and Lanie smiled.  
"She forgets sometimes, I know."

With a wave of her hand and a wink of her large feline eyes she bid him goodbye. "Go and get her, tiger" she said and he chuckled on his way out. Get her he would indeed.

* * *

Castle was actually glad for once that they didn't go out into the field but instead stayed at the precinct that day, burying themselves in missing persons data and, after IDing the victim as 28-year-old James Eagle, in endless phone calls. Normally he didn't like the 'boring' police work, but although he'd never admit it he felt sore and tired after last night's sleep-depriving and exhausting coupling. After all the acrobatics that Kate had done he was surprised that she was even able to walk the distance from her desk to the murder board.

He watched her as she worked efficiently, carefully and centered. He had memorized her every move throughout the last years, he knew how she held her coffee and how she brushed her hair out of her face when rebellious strands broke free from her brown bun, but it was an entirely different thing now that he knew what it felt like to run his fingers through that hair. He found himself mesmerized and captivated by the elegance of her hands, the curve of her neck, the way the corner of her mouth tilted up. It was hard not to touch her, to keep his hands to himself in the busily buzzing bullpen around them.

Everybody in here knew about the pictures, everybody could see that Castle was still alive, still here at Beckett's side, which meant that things between them were…well what exactly were they anyway?

At first there had been spectators, detectives of other departments that randomly appeared in the hallways to sneak a peek at the two of them, curious officers that wanted to know if he really was still breathing soundly beside her. If they had bet on it, they would have guessed that she'd killed him by now, or at least send him flying out the window.

After an hour of magically materializing officers in places they didn't belong, Beckett had exploded. A couple of harsh words from her and the dangerous glint in her eyes were enough to have the hardened cops crumble and sheepishly turn away. They hadn't been bothered since then.

At the end of the day Castle got squirrely, pacing the bullpen in front of the murder board without looking at or even caring about the information that was written on it. He hadn't eaten anything since the Chinese take-out cartons they'd grabbed at noon, so he was starving and tired and his attention slipped away from under his weary hands.

"Beckett" he said at last but she didn't look up from her papers. "Would you come with me for a second?" he tried again and this time she looked up and arched an eyebrow. "Where to?" she asked and he motioned towards the observation room.

She understood his choice – the observation room was really the only private place in the precinct where they could be sure that they weren't being overheard or spied on. "I have to work, Castle" she said and willfully held his gaze. "If you're bored, go home. No one's forcing you to stay here." But something in his eyes begged to differ, something in the lines of his face told a story of hope and need and held a sense of importance.

"Please" he said and she gave in.  
"One minute!" she established and got up.

When they were inside the small, dark room he silently closed the door behind them.

"What was so important that you had to drag me away from my work?" she asked but he didn't give a reply. Instead he placed his warm lips on hers and his hands on her shoulders. When she only stiffened at his touch and didn't respond, he drew away.

"Was that the only reason you brought me here?" she asked sourly and already turned away. He got hold of her arm and pulled her back to him. "Yes, it was. But wait!" he called when she moved once more and tried to wind her arm out of his grip.

"I want to see you again" he said softly. She looked up into his serious blue orbs.  
"You're seeing me right now" she returned. He sighed.

"No, I mean…I want to be with you, alone, in private" he struggled and slid his fingers through his hair. The gesture left his dark waves tousled and Beckett fought hard to keep from reaching out. "Will you come to my place tonight?" he asked and a certain thrill of anticipation shone through in his voice. His eyes however also conveyed fear. Yes, she was almost sure of it. It was fear she saw in them, fear because he cared, because he wanted her, really wanted her, and that knowledge made her the tiniest bit weak in the knees.

"I have to work tonight. We haven't got anything yet. And I haven't slept in a pretty long time." Although the fear stayed in his eyes, his face displayed a small smile.

"So you're saying I wore you out?"

She rolled her eyes at him. "Believe whatever you want, but I can't come to your place tonight. Besides, what about Alexis and Martha? I can't just barge in on them like that. I'm sure they have other plans for tonight." His eyes flickered with disappointment.

"And I'm sure they've seen the pictures and I don't think I can handle their morose disapproval just yet, Lanie was worse enough already" Beckett added and forced him with her eyes to understand her reasoning, to stop looking so damn disappointed. He simply trailed his hands down her arms until he reached her hands. He laced his fingers through hers and she let it happen.

"Will you come tomorrow?" he asked tentatively and it was so unusual for him to be so unsure of himself that she actually smiled. She leaned a little closer into his warmth and tried to forget about the fact that they were at a complete dead end in their current case and tried to just focus on them for a minute.

"Maybe I will. Let me think about it" she offered and it was more than enough for him. "Okay" he murmured before his lips connected with hers once more. This time she responded, pulling him closer with her hands around his neck, welcoming him into her mouth so that their tongues could lazily brush against each other. His hands caressed her lower back as languid waves of warm pleasure ran through his body from tip to toe. It was a slow and drawn out kiss that filled every inch of them before they parted.

"Now let me go back in there and do my work, okay?" she whispered, not wanting to disturb the comfortable silence that surrounded them. "And no funny business" she added and drew her hands away from his neck.

He grinned impishly. "But detective, have I ever done any funny business?"

She didn't dignify that question with an answer and simply turned and left the room.

* * *

**A/N:** _This chapter is not what I had planned it to be about a week ago, but I like it anyway. I wanted them to kiss before Christmas. I just didn't couldn't leave you hanging for so long, because I'm sure that it'll be some days until I can update. And I'm just really living on fluff right now, so there you go._

_I will also have you know that Swiss chocolate is the best in the entire world. There is this century-old fight in Europe over whether Belgian or Swiss chocolate is best, and after several tasting examinations I vote for Switzerland. I feel sorry for all Americans. You may not want to hear this, but your chocolate basically tastes like a monkey peed in battery acid. ;D (Hershey kisses are an exception, though) Don't be too sad, you have peanut butter instead._

_In this spirit, I wish you all a delicious, snowy, heart-warming and relaxing Holiday! Even if you don't celebrate – enjoy your days off! :)  
Merry Christmas! Joyeux Noel! Feliz Navidad! Frohe Weihnacht! Buon Natale!_


	22. Fallen Stars

**A/N:** _Happy New Year! I hope you all enjoyed the holidays. _

_As you noticed, I took a while off but now I'm back with full force! ;)_

_I hope you're all still with me and haven't lost interest. I will eventually get to replying to the reviews, but it might take some more days._

_Enjoy! :D_

* * *

Little did they know that that kiss would be their last quiet moment for a long while.

Once again in her career as a police detective, Kate was unable to perform her job and bring closure to the victim's family until all of the other participants on the case got their work done. Without the medical examiners and CSUs in this town, New York's detectives could do their very best and would still come up empty.

The main problem with this case was that they didn't know exactly which story their victim had fallen from. There were no reliable witnesses and no security footage that covered the front of the building. It had taken the crime techs almost the entire day to sweep the rooftop of the building and they hadn't found a single useful thing, let alone evidence that James Eagle had ever even set foot on this roof. By now they were making their way down the floors, examining balcony after balcony because they had no exact crime scene, couldn't say for certain whether it was a suicide or a murder, had no motives whatsoever and no leads.

When Beckett and Castle reappeared after their little break room moment, Esposito was getting off the phone with an amused, but slightly puzzled smile. With a proud ring to his voice he announced that Lanie just saved the poor tech guys a lot of extra work, because she had declared that their victim couldn't have possibly fallen from that building, not even from the rooftop. According to her calculations – which were preliminary as usual, she had kept reminding Esposito - Mr. Eagle had honored his name by falling at least 1200 to 1700 feet before hitting the ground, which was a credible reason for the condition they'd found the body in. That meant that he either jumped off the Empire State Building or the Bank of America Tower and wondrously miscalculated his landing area by about 5 blocks, or had fallen out of a helicopter. The exciting news left Castle once again with that slightly smitten, astonished look he always got when their cases took unexpected turns.

To Beckett, however, those news didn't really make her work any easier and although the lack of a parachute made it highly improbable that this was a suicide or an accident, they couldn't rule anything out. They had something to start with now though and that something was enough to keep their phones busy and their brains fuming into the dark hours of the night.

Ever since that moment of quiet Beckett had allowed herself in the observation room, they were buried in their case as the plot thickened and more and more futile and obscure details about their murder and its victim got unearthed. Beckett made her team go home around 2 at night, when they couldn't possibly call anyone anymore and it became pretty clear that they were too tired to make any progress. She chose to stay at the precinct nonetheless, arguing that she wouldn't get any sleep anyway because of this case, but Castle made it obvious that he wouldn't leave until she did. The thought of the two of them spending the entire night in the basically deserted bullpen, alone and tired, convinced her that it might be better to give in just this once, so she let him take her home.

Despite everything that was on her mind, her demanding lifestyle took its toll and she slept dreamless and heavy for a couple of hours. Her body was so fine-tuned and alert however, that she woke 2 minutes before her alarm went off at 6, just like she always did. She wondered why she hadn't woken up the night before when Castle had slept beside her, but she figured that it was probably exactly because of that – because Castle had slept beside her. Somehow it had relaxed and comforted her to know that Castle would be by her side throughout the night. It hadn't occurred to her that he could be gone when she woke up. In hindsight, that assumption had been rather stupid.

It surprised her when Castle arrived less than 10 minutes after her at the precinct and greeted only with a quiet "Hey" before sitting down with his moleskin notebook.  
She didn't question him though, because he brought coffee and a bear claw and her fridge had been empty once more that morning. Sometimes she wondered how she could still be alive and healthy. She basically never had the time to get groceries and if she did, she let them go bad, buried behind her Styrofoam temple.

She usually had miserable coffee for breakfast, greasy takeout for dinner and sometimes not more than a few Skittles in between. It certainly wasn't what you'd call a healthy diet.

Castle looked weary and dim this cold autumn morning and Beckett noticed it with the tiniest hint of worry. It wasn't like him to be so quiet either, she wondered when they'd silently sat side to side for half an hour. As long as she'd known him, he'd been obnoxiously gleeful even when it was an especially early morning, or he'd just stayed home until he'd felt ready to join her.

"Are you okay, Castle?" she asked and startled him out of his brooding. He blinked twice as if to orientate himself before his cheerless gaze settled on her. "Yeah, I'm…okay" he said and shifted a little in his chair, roaming the floor with his blue eyes. When he still felt her gaze on him, he fleetingly looked up to her again. "I just couldn't sleep, that's all" he said quietly and turned away and she couldn't help herself. She reached out and lightly touched his knee. "Is something wrong?" she asked and he looked at her with an expression that she'd never seen on him before. She couldn't quite categorize it and didn't know what to do with it until he softly spoke. "I missed you."

"Oh" she answered dumbly and turned away from these mesmerizing eyes, a blush creeping up her face. "Oh" she repeated once more and thankfully his phone rang before she could have time to think about what that could mean.

"Yes" Castle answered his phone and after some seconds, for the first time that morning, a smile stole its way through his grimace. "Thanks, Dan" he said and looked straight at Beckett, the corners of his mouth pleasantly tilting upwards. "We'll be there shortly" he concluded and ended the call with a confident tap to the screen he didn't even have to break eye contact with her for.

"Field trip?" he suggested brightly and she wondered what on earth he'd come up with now.

* * *

**A/N:**_ Mixed feelings about this one. But I'm not going to start rambling now, so ... review? ;)_


	23. Fiery Exhalation

**A/N:** _Okay, so here's the next chapter. I introduce Dan in this one, kind of my first original character that is more than just a name and a description. In my mind, if this were to happen on the show, Dan would be played by the lovely _Alan Tudyk_. Just so you get an idea._

Disclaimer_: (I have one on my profile page since I always forget these anyway)  
I do not own Castle and no profits are being made with this story.  
If I did own it, Alan Tudyk would play Dan. ;)_

_Enjoy!

* * *

_

„I thought since our victim most likely fell out of a helicopter, we should consult someone who knows everything there is to know about helicopters and the like" Castle said as they rode the elevator down to the garage. Beckett eyed him suspiciously and wondered how he had yet again convinced her to join him for what was surely going to be a pointless waste of her precious time.  
"Are we meeting one of your semi-legal research contacts again or this one actually someone with useful information to our case?" she asked pointedly.

"Hey, my research contacts have always been useful, semi-legal or not!" he protested. "Most of the time, at least. But this one is actually an old high school friend of mine, Dan. I haven't seen him in a while, not since I killed off Derrick Storm. He called after the Heat Wave release, though. Oh I'm sure he'll be thrilled to meet you" he chimed, almost skipping from excitement, the sullen mood from earlier apparently gone. "I've known him for a long time now and he hasn't changed at all since high school. He was always the tech geek, you know. Even though the height of technology back then was Tetris on Atari" he reported while they made their way through the garage.

"I keep forgetting that's how old you are, Castle. When I was in high school we already had Game Boys" she teased.

His mouth gaped open with indignation that was only half simulated. "You're not that much younger than me, detective."

Beckett smirked and stopped because they had reached her car. "Well, I'm old enough to do this" she said and on the spur of the moment leaned in to his face to give him a quick peck on the lips. "But let's just face it - you're an old man, Mr. Castle" she continued unperturbed while he tried to blink the surprise off his face. "Admit it, you're getting rusty" she kept on teasing, but she'd gone too far.

With one quick, swift move that she had not anticipated he swirled her around and had her pressed into the side of her car, his mouth crashing down on hers. There was nothing 'rusty' about the way his strong arms held her in place and his lips devoured hers. She gasped when he let go of her entirely too soon.

He held her close, his own eyes only inches from hers, burning right into her soul like a blistering fire. She saw her own desire reflected in them and something else, too. "I really missed you last night" he whispered and goose bumps raced down her spine.

She decided to ignore that certain quality to his voice and that 'something' in his eyes that she wasn't ready to talk about yet and craned her neck to capture his lips once more in a sweltering, guzzling kiss. He pressed his body more tightly into hers as his tongue delved into her mouth and battled hers down, desperately trying to bring his point across while teasing her until he was sure she'd do just about anything to keep him doing what he did to her. Every millimeter of his body pressed flush against hers and the delicious friction his leg created against her middle where he pushed her into the car was rapidly increasing the sizzling heat inside of her.

Beckett knew that passion would get the better of them, so she pushed him away with her hands on his shoulders before they got too far. "We can't…let this…" she panted "…whatever this is…interfere with our jobs, okay?" she squeezed out, breathing heavily, her lips still close to his and their hot breaths mingling.

"As much as I try to distract from it sometimes, my job is actually writing books about you" he returned, his voice surprisingly firm although his chest was quickly rising and falling and his heart was galloping almost painfully beneath his ribs.

"Castle" she hissed and actually managed to stare at him despite her aroused state. "You know exactly what I'm talking about."

"Okay" he answered and softly touched his mouth to hers before stepping back and letting her go. She cleared her throat and found the car keys in her coat pocket.

"So, where are we meeting this old friend of yours?"she asked, willing to say anything to fill the sudden silence between them.

"What if it's another surprise?" he quipped. She glared at him again, her eyebrows dangerously bunching together, showing off the slight crease between her brows that had always intrigued him.

"Don't force me to make you scream 'apples', Castle" she threatened, but immediately regretted it when pulled the corner of his mouth up in a dashing smirk filled with innuendo. "I'm driving, that means I'm going to have to know where we're going!" she quickly threw in, her hands on her hips to clarify that he better didn't mess with her.

"LaGuardia" he gave in, knowing that this wasn't the time or place to keep arguing with her.

* * *

"Ricky Rodgers!" the strawberry blond, perky looking guy in his late 30s called out when he spotted Castle. "Dan!"Castle exclaimed enthusiastically and gave the man a bear hug. Beckett couldn't quite contain her grin and tried to hide it by turning her head away.

"Long time no see!" Castle gave off and the shorter man avidly nodded his head. "Yeah definitely! I'm sorry I haven't called more often. I've been really busy, you know" he said and motioned around the general area of the private hangar at LaGuardia they were in.

"But I'm forgetting my manners" Dan said and turned to face Beckett. "Who's this lovely lady you're bringing with you? Oh wait, don't tell, I think I know! You must be the extraordinary Detective Beckett" he concluded and Beckett blushed to her roots. He extended a grimy hand, but then seemed to remember that he was basically covered in motor oil and awkwardly smudged his hand at his overall. "Pleased to meet you, Miss" he said and waved his hand in exchange for a hand shake. He turned to Castle again. "I found out about yesterday's paper this morning just after you called. So how long have you two been together?" he asked and alternated between looking at Castle and Beckett. The latter blushed even more fiercely and started to stammer "Eh…ugh…we're not…I mean…"

"Let's just say it's a rather complicated, long story" Castle saved her and suggested with his glance that Dan was probably better off changing the topic. He understood and motioned again towards the aircrafts stored behind him. "So. What do you want to know?"

* * *

**Note:** _This has nothing to do with my story, but…did you all watch "Nikki Heat"? :D  
SPOILER ALERT! I thought it was fantastic. Especially "If it's so adorable then why didn't you sleep with me?" and the coffee squirting scene when Natalie asks whether Castle's gay. Wonderful delivery of "I need to go. Over there."*points finger* Just an altogether lovely episode._

_Oh and are you guys voting for all things Castle on the Shorty Awards on Twitter?_


	24. Light A Candle

**A/N:** _This chapter took a turn I was not expecting. But see for yourself.

* * *

_

"I know this is hard for you, Mrs. Eagle, but I need you to think of anyone who would want to harm your son" Beckett softly said, her upper body compassionately hunched forward in her chair at the precinct. The woman across her looked up through teary eyes, her fingers fiddling with the tissue in her hands. "Everybody loved Jamie" she said and her lower lip started quivering. Beckett was all too familiar with this answer. In the majority of the cases she had worked on throughout her career, the relatives of the victims responded to that question in exactly the same way. The words were usually followed by 'Why would anyone want to hurt my baby?' and 'He/She was such a wonderful person'. But some said nothing afterwards, just sat there and cried, as did Mrs. Eagle. She raised the torn tissue to her face and squeezed her eyes around the pain in her heart.

To Beckett, this was always the hardest part of murder. She could handle the crime scenes - she had seen enough dead bodies not to be nauseated by them - but facing the families? That never got old. Notifying the next of kin never became just another task to her, or simply part of her daily job. Every single time she had to face a grieving parent, a mourning brother or sister, a heartbroken lover, she was taken back to that night where _she_ had sat on that couch, where it had been_ her_ breaking down in front of the officers.

Still she always performed this duty by herself.

She could have told Ryan or Esposito to do it, maybe as their punishment even, because she knew they didn't like this task any more than she did, but she always chose to do it herself.

It had surprised her from the start that Castle had usually sat beside her throughout these emotional moments. He was the only one of them that could actually choose where to be and what to do at any time. If she were a rich and bored novelist, the last thing she'd want to do with her free time was to sit opposite someone who had just been told that a person close to them had been killed. But then again, if she were a rich and bored novelist, she wouldn't choose to tail a police detective either.

What hadn't gone unnoticed with Beckett as well, was that Castle called his daughter every time they finished talking to a relative. As soon as that door closed behind the sobbing family member, his phone was at his ear and she could watch the relief wash over his concerned face when he heard Alexis' voice.

Apart from the fact that that look on his face had always been a weak spot of hers, Beckett also understood what it meant – it was evidence that these meetings touched him, that the victims' families got to him and that, essentially, he cared.

The soft touch of his hand on her knee pulled Beckett out of her thoughts and back to the precinct, to Castle sitting next to her and, most importantly, the sobbing woman in front of her.

"Mrs. Eagle" she said softly and waited until the woman looked up at her, the smeared mascara around her eyes making her look as miserable on the outside as she must feel on the inside. "I'm sure it is in your best interest that we find out who did this to James" Beckett continued and paused to let the information sink in. "If you can think of anything unusual that happened in the last months - money problems, any fights with coworkers, neighbors, ex-girlfriends - it may help us find your son's killer."

Mrs. Eagle sniffed and dabbed the tissue at her nose. "He didn't have any ex-girlfriends" she said shakily. "He had ex-boyfriends, though. My son was gay, you must know" she said with no sense of rejection or anger in her voice, but rather a hint of pride. Beckett simply acknowledged the given information with a small nod of her head, signaling for Mrs. Eagle to continue. "His boyfriend Charlie Marx broke up with him last month. They'd been dating for over a year and I guess James was pretty heartbroken about that. It's no reason for anyone to kill him though" she said and broke down in a sob once more. Castle's hand on Beckett's knee gave a light squeeze. She was tempted to reach out and hold on to it for a second, but she took a deep breath instead. This was emotional enough as it was.

"Do you think someone killed my son because he was gay?" the woman whimpered and questioningly looked up through desperate and troubled eyes. Beckett swallowed once to make sure her voice didn't hold too much emotion when she spoke. "We don't know about that yet. So far we've got very little" she admitted, always forcing herself to be honest with the victims. She knew what it felt like to be on the other side of this conversation and she would always prefer honesty over false promises or pretense.

"We only know that he was pushed out of a flying helicopter yesterday morning" she said straight-forward. Both Dan and Lanie had confirmed that he couldn't have fallen accidentally and that it couldn't have been a suicide, since someone had to have been flying the helicopter and that someone would have probably spoken up by now.

The woman's face cringed and her hand shot to her mouth to suppress the small cry that dared to escape her. "Oh my poor boy" she whispered and remained silent for a minute, staring off into empty space, lost in deep thinking.

Beckett let her. It was important not to rush these things.

"Do you believe in God, detective?" Mrs. Eagle spoke at last and the sudden turn of the conversation took Beckett – and even more so, Castle – by surprise. "Do you believe that my son is up there, watching me now?" Mrs. Eagle questioned and looked up at the weathered bullpen ceiling.

It was a question that Beckett had asked herself more often than she could count. She could feel Castle's eyes on her as she tried to decide on what to answer. She wanted to believe that her mother was still watching over her, wanted desperately to believe that she would meet her again once her own time on earth was up, but something in her struggled against this faith. The cop inside her, the no-nonsense part of her that only ever believed in evidence and hard facts, that persona of her wasn't easily convinced of higher beings. But she offered comfort to this grieving mother, instead of voicing her own doubts and making her suffer even more.

"I'm sure he's up there somewhere" she said and reached out to touch the woman's shoulder. "He will listen to what you have to say to him."

Mrs. Eagle looked through the tears in her eyes and found the sincerity she was searching for in Beckett's green orbs. "Thank you" she whispered and looked over to Castle, as if seeing him for the first time in this meeting. His face was earnest and reassuring, barely restraining his emotions from pouring out.

"Is that all, detective?" she asked and turned to Beckett again. "Yes" the detective answered and pulled a card from her pocket. "If you can think of anything else, don't hesitate to call me" she said, stood up and handed her card to the woman, who was slowly rising from her seat. "Goodbye, detectives. Please tell me when you make an arrest, will you? I want to know why someone would do this to Jamie."

"Of course, Mrs. Eagle. Goodbye" Beckett said and Castle added a murmured "Bye". When the door fell shut behind Mrs. Eagle's back, Beckett fell back down into her seat with a tired sigh. She turned her head to look at Castle, who seemed to be intently examining the lines on the table. "Thank you for staying quiet during this, Castle" she said and he looked up to meet her gaze. "No problem" he said softly, and before the situation had the chance to turn into anything sentimental, she chose to focus on the task ahead of them.

"So James was gay. That's not really what I'd call a huge break, but maybe it's a start. We should check out this Charlie Marx" she said composedly, got up and turned towards the espresso machine. "You want coffee?"

* * *

**A/N: **_So here goes another one. Will you tell me what you thought of it?  
It's a really quiet, sort of serious chapter, but I was in the mood and nothing else would come out. My muse works in mysterious ways. There will be more fun to come, though._ ;)


	25. Walking Into The Fire

Charlie Marx did not look comfortable in his cold steel chair in Interrogation 1. He looked devastated actually, his hair disheveled by his own hands, his glassy brown eyes restlessly moving around the bare room. Kate Beckett loved it when her suspects were fidgeting before she even had a single word with them. A manila file in her hand she entered the room, dropped the file onto the desk with a thump, but remained standing.

Castle didn't join her this time - he was watching from behind the magic mirror with Ryan, following her every move. "By the way, did that Laurie girl from the bakery case finally talk?" Castle asked without turning his eyes away from the interrogation room. Ryan hummed something that sounded like a negation and added "We're keeping her without bail until she talks. We've got enough evidence to hold her without her confession."  
They turned their attention to the two people behind the one-way mirror.

"You have been told your rights, Mr. Marx?" Beckett asked, her arms crossed on her chest.

"Yes" Charlie said exasperated, running his hands through his dark hair for about the thirtieth time. "Look, I don't know what you want from me. I had nothing to do with Jamie's death, I didn't even know he was dead until a couple hours ago!" he pleaded, but his tear-stained cheeks did nothing to convince Beckett.

"Is that why you ran away when the police wanted to talk to you? You shoved one of my best officers down a flight of stairs without warning! You could get 3 months to a year for assaulting a member of the NYPD and you expect me to believe that it was because you had nothing to do with James Eagle's murder?" she confronted him in full interrogation mode, completely in control of every nuance of her voice.

Castle looked over to Ryan, who was rubbing his bruised back at Beckett's mention of the incident. "Guess it was your turn this time" Castle said with a shrug of his shoulders. "At least he didn't put you through a wall" he added with a wink and a smile, but Ryan didn't reciprocate the gesture.

"Yes, because it's the truth!" their suspect exclaimed. He sighed and rubbed at the little rhinestone in his left earlobe. "Listen, I freaked, okay? I haven't really paid my bills recently and I don't like cops, so I…"

Beckett suddenly unfolded her crossed arms and charged forward and Charlie winced, maybe expecting to be hit or something. Her facial expression definitely allowed for such an assumption.

Castle chuckled in the observation room. "It isn't particularly smart to say you don't like cops to a detective's face, right?"  
Ryan grinned. "Especially not when you've just shoved one of her best detectives down the stairs" he said with the hint of complacent pride in his voice. "She's in a real grumpy aggressive mood today, too. What did you do to annoy her?"  
Castle opened his mouth to speak when Ryan went on. "Oh wait, don't tell me, I don't think I want to know."  
Castle closed his mouth again and put an impressive pout on his face.

Of course Beckett hadn't hit Marx, but she'd braced her hands on the table and her face was now intimidatingly close to his. "You were sentenced to 10 months up the river for using and distributing in 2007. Maybe that's where your money problems were coming from?"

Castle forgot about his pout and turned to Ryan once more. "Did you know that the phrase 'up the river' refers to the actual Sing Sing prison, because it's up the Hudson River when you're coming from New York City? The state of New York is home to more than 70 prisons. I don't think that everyone who's sent 'up the river' will really be incarcerated in Sing Sing, because there's just…"  
"Castle?" Ryan interrupted again. Castle closed his open mouth. "That's better. No wonder Beckett gets so worked up over you."

"No! I'm clean!" Marx called out, helplessly fisting his hands in his hair. "Ever since I've been with Jamie I haven't even thought of taking drugs again! He made me realize that it wouldn't get me anywhere."  
Tears were swimming in his eyes. "He made me want to be a better person" he choked out.

"Then why did you break up with him?" Beckett demanded, not moving an inch away from his face. If she leaned any further across the table, Marx would be able to look down her shirt straight to her belly button.

"What? I didn't break up with him! I loved him!"  
Beckett gave up with a tired groan and sat down. "Enough with the lying, Charlie!"  
"No, seriously!" he pleaded and showed her the palms of his hands, as if that was going to make her believe him. "He was the one who broke up with me! He thought I was cheating on him, but I wasn't. That's what I wanted to talk to him about, the morning he died. He was going to meet me at the delta terminal Starbucks at LaGuardia but he never showed up. I assumed he just didn't want to talk to me. If I'd known that he was already dead…" His voice broke.

Beckett opened the manila file and flew over the pages for a second. "James Eagle worked as a truck driver for a food company up in Manhattan and lived at the other end of town. Why would you meet him all the way across the city at a Starbucks at LaGuardia?"

Marx lifted his head, a single teardrop clinging to his lashes. "I work as a mechanic at the airport."  
Beckett faintly smiled and closed the file. "You don't by any chance know how to fly a helicopter?"

Marx broke down with a sob. "I didn't kill him!" he cried out. "I loved him, I'd never hurt him! He wasn't even there that morning!" he screamed through his tears.

Beckett neatly folded her hands on top of the closed file. Even the hint of a smile was gone from her face now and when she spoke, it was with a sharp and cold precision.

"Mr. Marx, do you know how to pilot a helicopter?"

Marx whimpered as tears spilled down onto the table. "I didn't kill him!"

"Do you?" Beckett asked again, her voice determined and harsh, and Castle involuntarily leaned closer into the mirror, wanting to see the killer's face when he cracked.

"I do" he sniffed and Beckett visibly let out a small breath.

"BUT I DIDN'T KILL HIM!"

* * *

**A/N:** _Hmmmm...What did you think of it? _  
_Does anyone even care about the case? (It's not closed yet, just so you know. This would be way too boring for Castle...)_  
_The next chapters will include some fun, some serious things and some drama. And then there's lots of fluff of course!_


	26. Illuminative Information

**A/N:** _This one is long, which is usually a good thing. Unfortunately I also think it's a lot of rambling and very little good writing, which is mostly due to my lack of sleep and concentration. It's kinda late in Germany right now, but I wanted to have this up tonight anyway. I'mma stop rambling now. Enjoy!_

* * *

"But why did you have to let him go?" Castle whined when they were back at her desk after reluctantly dismissing Marx.  
"Because that's how it works, Castle. We can't just keep him here simply because we think it might have been him."

"But we could hold him on an assault charge because he jostled Ryan down those stairs!" he pleaded. She murmured something that suspiciously sounded like some Italian insults, but he was too upset to call her on it.

"Right now that would only mean more paperwork and lost time. Besides, I don't think he's going anywhere" she said without turning away from her desk to face him.

"But he knows how to fly helicopters!" Castle pouted like a twelve-year-old begging for a new toy. "How many people in this city do you think know how to pilot choppers, detective? And he has a motive, because Eagle dumped him! Maybe he calls Eagle, suggests they talk things out. Eagle says 'it's a date' and they meet at the deserted back entry of the delta terminal, in the early morning hours when no one else is there yet."

His voice had started to take on this story-telling quality. Ryan and Esposito seemed to have sensed this and scooted over with their rolling chairs, interested in whatever theory Castle had come up with this time. Finally giving in, Beckett turned to look at him, too distracted to be able to work anyway. Castle noticed his audience, leaned closer to Beckett and dropped his volume, causing the detectives around him to physically get closer as he spun his tale.

"Charlie Marx is a mechanic at LaGuardia, so he has keys to the hangars - an all access pass. Maybe he doesn't plan on killing Jamie at first, maybe he really loves him and just plans to show him, make him see. He thinks that a romantic chopper tour in the high air above the city, as the light of the rising sun reflects off the water in the Hudson, will be a good way of convincing Jamie that they are not over yet, that he really loves him. But Jamie isn't interested anymore and when Charlie realizes that, he loses his mind and charges at him. In their struggle he hits the button for the automatic door and before one of them can even understand what's going on, Jamie falls out through the opening and for a second floats weightlessly through the white air, reaching out with his hand for his lover, but ultimately falling, falling down, unable to resist gravity until he hits the ground, his scream fading, dying away on his parted lips…"

The bullpen was silent around them for a second, until Beckett could shake herself out of her trance. She never fully understood how he always managed to draw everyone in with the tales he spun, but he somehow did it every time. She envied him a little for his ability with words, and at the same time was angry at him for making her so…weak.

Blinking once, twice, averting her gaze in order to focus, Beckett regained her speech. "Well that's a nice theory, but it's still no reason to arrest Marx. We need probable cause for a warrant" she explained, as if to a child. In the meanwhile, the other detectives wheeled away to get back to their own work, sensing that storytelling hour was over for today. "We need evidence…procedure…paperwork…" she trailed off and resumed rummaging through the pile of files on her desk.

"The reality of police work isn't just action and glorious hero moments as you like to depict it in your Nikki Heat books, you should know that by now. Have you seen my phone somewhere?" she asked and started chewing on her lower lip, her brows cutely bunched together.

"Stop doing that" he said quietly, but almost angry, and she questioningly turned to him. His eyes were dark and intense, fixed on her face, but not looking into her eyes. She released her lip and motioned for him to elaborate. "Doing what?" she asked with an excellent poker face, but the glint in her eyes gave her away.

"You know exactly what I mean" he said huskily and she innocently batted her eyelashes at him. "Do I?" she asked and casually ran her tongue across her lips, moistening them and driving him insane. He made a low, disgruntled noise and narrowed his eyes. "Tease" he mumbled and she turned her gaze back to her desk, not bothering to hide the pleased smile.

Just when she'd almost given up on her search, her phone started ringing from somewhere under the pile and she frantically followed the sound, plowing through the files like an icebreaker.

"Beckett" she answered when she'd unearthed it and Castle watched her eyes grow bigger and then narrow with confusion as she listened to whoever was on the other end of the line.

Slowly and deliberately she sat the phone back down and turned to him, her curiosity unmasked. "Lanie said she found something - I quote - 'weird and illuminative, but confusing' – end quote – and we're supposed to get down to the morgue asap, but she's not letting us in without an energy drink or a bribe."

Castle shrugged his shoulders and winked. "Don't mess with the sassy doctor, detective."

* * *

"Please tell me you've found something so I can arrest Marx" Beckett said without preamble as she barged into the morgue. Castle cursed behind her when the door swung closed on him and he struggled to catch it with his foot, his hands occupied with balancing a large shake and a bag of Remy's best fries and burgers.

"I'm not saying anything without my bribe, dear" Lanie said and turned around to face her friend. Castle held out the food to her and her eyebrows curved appreciatively. She peeked into the bag and inhaled the warm scent of the delicious food. "Not bad, writer monkey" she hummed and sat the bag on a silver autopsy tray before grabbing the shake from Castle's hands and slurping the cold liquid. "Not bad at all" she murmured and closed her eyes with a pleased smile, sucking on the straw again.

"Lanie. The case" Beckett reminded her impatiently. Reluctantly Lanie opened her eyes again. "Right."

"First of all, I can tell you for sure that Mr. Eagle didn't go without a fight. He has bruises and scratch marks, but unfortunately no DNA under his fingernails. Instead I found blue cashmere fibers. He probably grabbed the sleeves of a shirt or a pullover" she said and clutched Beckett's upper arms to demonstrate her theory. "If you find me a piece of clothing, I can match it. More importantly though, I found something else that is pretty interesting" she said, took one last gulp of her shake before putting it down, and led them to her microscope.

"I swabbed the skin and hair of our victim and found trace amounts of some sort of powdery substance" she explained and motioned for Beckett to look through the microscope. "He must have been exposed to it within the last week before he died. It's a little bit of dust and a lot of dirt and pollution, but also something else. The problem is that without help I can't tell you what the mysterious rest is. I ran almost every test I can down here, but nothing popped up."

Castle stopped trying to sneak a peek through the microscope and instead turned to Lanie. "Of course, when you find a weird dusty substance, the first thing you do is call Detective Beckett. Maybe if she sniffs at it with her supercop-nose, she'll figure out what it is."

Beckett hit him in the chest with the back of her hand, hard.  
"Uh! What was that for?" he asked and she glared at him.  
"If I hadn't done it, Lanie would have" she deadpanned.  
"Uh huh, that's right gurl" Lanie nodded and they high-fived. Castle gaped.

"You high-fived her! You never high-five me!" he exclaimed incredulously. Both women raised their eyebrows, but didn't otherwise dignify that declaration with a verbalized response.

"Now where was I? Right, the substance" Lanie continued and grabbed a chart from her desk. "There's a holdup at the lab, so everything takes a couple days to get through."

"So you called to use my connections to bypass the lab holdup?" Castle chimed and earned himself a hit from Lanie's chart and an eye roll from Beckett.

"No, Castle! For Pete's sake, let me finish, okay?" Lanie growled at him and he pretended to zip his mouth. "Gosh, is he always like that, Kate? How come you haven't shot him yet?"

Beckett snorted. "Tell me about it." Lanie went back to the substance.

"Because there is this holdup at the lab…" she said, pointing a threatening finger at Castle to keep him quiet, "I only now got the results of the swab I did of our baked vic earlier this week."

Beckett frowned. "So this is about another case?"  
Lanie shook her head.

"Not exactly. You see, as luck would have it, I found this dusty substance I found on Mr. Eagle on Mr. Crisp as well. Because you closed that case so fast I never got around to telling you. My computer here can't tell me what this stuff is, but it can tell me that the substances have exactly the same compounds. As in" she emphasized, "_exactly_ the same. They're identical."

Castle and Beckett tried to process this information. Castle spoke first. "Like the body-of-water connection we had a while ago? Where the victims were connected through the water traces because the killers both used the water taxi?" Lanie nodded.

"But that doesn't help us if we don't know what the substance is" Beckett threw in. A smug smile spread across Lanie's pretty features.

"Then listen closely, detective. I said I just now got the results on Mr. Crisp. I can tell you exactly what connected these two victims." Castle and Beckett seemed to hold their breaths when Lanie leaned conspiratorially closer. "Drugs" she revealed and Beckett's eyes widened. "And not just that both victims were taking drugs, in fact Mr. Eagle here didn't!" she said and pointed to the body behind her, hidden under a white cloth reserved for the dead. "The substance is a mixture of plastic, spores – probably from something wooden, like a chest or a box – and weed. Both victims had contact with drugs that were in the exact same box or plastic bag. My guess is they have the same dealer" Lanie finished.

"But if Eagle was clean, why would he have contact with a dealer?" Castle asked, but came upon the answer while he was still speaking.

"Charlie!" Castle and Beckett said in unison, turning towards each other with sly grins on their faces.

"Sooo cute when you two do that!" Lanie said and affectionately clasped her hands together.

* * *

**A/N:** _I might go over this tomorrow and fix some things, but right now I'm too tired. I'll also respond to last chapter's reviews tomorrow. That shouldn't stop you from leaving a review for this one, though. ;)_

_I hope you're having a great weekend!_


	27. After Sunset

**A/N:** _Contains small spoilers for 3x10 Last Call. __Also, this is my longest chapter yet! Yay!_  
_Enjoy!_

* * *

Captain Montgomery caught a glimpse of Beckett and Castle as they were stepping out of the precinct elevator on their way back from Lanie. He poked his head out of his door and called out to them on their way over. "Got anything new, detective?"

Their heads turned in synch. "Yes, but I'm afraid it only complicates matters" Beckett answered and stopped in front of him.

"If we can put the right guy behind bars in the end, we're going to have to live with complications. What did the good doctor say?"

"She found traces of Marihuana on Mr. Eagle and surprisingly enough as well on Mr. Harris, the victim from the bakery murder earlier this week. She claims it's the exact same syncrisis, like from the same shipment."

"So the two cases are connected?"

"We don't know for sure. It could be as easy as the same dealer, but seeing as the last victim, Mr. Eagle, showed no signs of using, it's all a little bit obscure right now. We're going to take a closer look at Eagle's ex-boyfriend since he has a history of drug use and I'll have Ryan and Esposito search for any connection…"  
"But not today" the Captain interjected. Beckett's forehead crinkled and her hands fell to her side in an empty gesture.

"What do you mean, sir?"

"You know what I mean. You're going home now, I already sent Ryan and Esposito away half an hour ago" he stated matter-of-factly and without any facial expression.

"Sir, I really have to…" she started to plead, but Montgomery wasn't going to have any of that.  
"Beckett, no arguing" he stated firmly, but his expression softened. "Ryan fell down a flight of stairs today, I think Esposito is fighting the flu, and if you'd get paid for every hour you actually work, the city would be broke. You're going to need a warrant for this ex-boyfriend's place and you're not going to get one at…" he looked at his watch "…9 o'clock at night. You're going home, it's an order. I don't want to see you anywhere around this bullpen until tomorrow morning at 8, the earliest. Go get some rest" he ordered and closed his office door right in her face, leaving no opportunity for further arguments.

"Guess this means you're free tonight, detective!" Castle said cheerfully, having listened from only a few steps behind. Beckett was about to answer with a snarky comment when the Star Wars theme chimed from his pocket. "Guess this means you're not, Mr. Castle" she mocked and walked off to gather her belongings while Castle took his call.

"Dan!" she heard him exclaim and allowed herself a smile. She really liked this guy, despite the fact that they'd only spent a few minutes together. She could really picture a younger version of Castle hanging out with his geeky friend, watching science fiction movies and talking about electronics and Darth Vader.

"Now? Oh I would love to! Hang on a second…Beckett?" he called and she turned around. "When was the last time you had a good drink in a dark bar with charming company?" he asked, turning his 100 Watt smile full on. Beckett found herself unable to not smile back. The truth was that, if cop bars after work didn't count, she couldn't even remember the last time she'd been out. She assumed that night with the boys and the captain at the Old Haunt didn't really count either, because she'd left way too early and had barely had half a drink.

"Me, Dan, the Old Haunt – what do you say?" Castle asked giddily.

It was barely nine o'clock and she wasn't even a little bit tired. Her first instinct had been a certain 'No', but she found herself considering his offer nonetheless. Although, with the article in the paper and everything that was going on between them she was almost sure she'd regret going to a bar with him, even if he owned it.

"If you say yes, I promise you won't regret it" Castle winked and she knew she wouldn't be able to resist. If she went home now, she would mull over the case until the wee hours of the morning, tossing in her bed, wondering and worrying about her developing … thing… with Castle. A night filled with laughter, a little alcohol and old high school memories sounded a lot more alluring. Her head nodded a silent approval of its own accord and Castle's smile turned even brighter.

"Dan? I think I know just the place…"

* * *

"No! Seriously? Oh dio mio, che avventura!" Beckett gasped between fits of laughter about an hour later. She was settled in next to Dan on a high stool at the bar. To her surprise, Castle had taken to bartending and was showing off his mighty fine mixing skills behind the counter as Dan treated her to stories of a young Ricky Rodgers in his late high school years.

"That was Italian, what you just said, right?" Dan queried with large attentive eyes. Beckett nodded and Dan's head swiveled around to find Castle's gaze. "Did you hear that? Did you realize she gets hotter by the minute?" Dan asked his old friend and Castle grinned. His eyes dropped to Beckett's and held them for a long second. "I did" he simply said, but it was enough to make her blush and avert her glowing face. Dan apparently hadn't noticed the enthralled exchange and kept right on talking.

"Last year, when Heat Wave came out, I actually called your boy Ricky here and asked whether I could meet this Nikki girl. He said that she was based on a New York police detective and I asked whether the detective was as hot as Nikki is in the books. He was like, 'Boy the real version is even hotter than the fictional!' but I didn't believe him and now here you are!  
I've got to admit, he was right in not sharing you with me, cause you're one hot number, girl. I really can't blame him for wanting you all to himself" Dan rambled on and winked at Beckett, who blushed even more.

"_Señorita?_" Castle jumped at the small pause in Dan's endless flood of words, sensing that Beckett would probably prefer a diversion from the comments about Nikki Heat and her own hotness. He held out a bright red cocktail with a cherry, but she didn't take it.

"_Señorita_ is Spanish, Castle, not Italian" she scolded him playfully. He looked disappointed and she secretly cursed herself for wanting to kiss his pout away. To occupy her mouth in order to avoid the temptation, she took the cocktail from his outstretched hand.

"_Mademoiselle_?" he tried again, his brows still furrowed.  
Beckett rolled her eyes. "That's French, Castle. _Signorina_ would be Italian" she said, deciding to put him out of his misery before he started reciting every foreign word he knew.

"Aren't you two, like, sleeping with each other? Why do you still call him Castle?" Dan wanted to know and Castle raised his eyebrows with a smirk playing around his lips.

"Yes, why do you, Kate?" he asked, deliberately dropping his voice to a low rumble on her name to see what effects it had on her. Her poker face was excellent and he'd have missed her soft shudder if he hadn't been waiting for it. She was determined to keep the upper hand tonight, though, so she bit her lower lip, took the cherry out of her cocktail glass and delicately held it between two fingers. When she was sure that his gaze (and probably that of at least 10 other men in the crowded room) was entirely on the cherry, she released her soft skin from her teeth and gently touched the red fruit against her slightly parted lips. Torturously slow she let it slide into her mouth, closed her eyes and hummed with pleasure.

Castle and Dan both gulped. Slowly Beckett opened her eyes again, batting her lashes twice, then looked straight into Castle's darkened orbs. "I don't know, Rick" she said and his heart skipped a beat at the way she was caressing his first name with her lips and her throat. "Maybe it's because I want to stay professional during our work" she added carelessly. "But I'll make sure to say 'Rick' more often" she said, torturing him again with his own name.

The ruthless teasing in front of him had not gone unnoticed by Dan this time, but he chose to not let it affect him in any shape or form. He was not a person of high social intelligence or tactfulness and not much could deprive him of his extraordinarily good mood.

"Speaking of your work" he said and the not-quite-couple next to him was visibly shaken out of the enchantment that had kept their gazes locked intensely on each other. It was almost cute to witness as Beckett's eyes quickly dropped to the floor and Castle's examined a spot on the ceiling, until they both turned to face Dan.

"Have you closed that case yet about the poor dude that got kicked out of that helicopter?"

Beckett was impressed by the randomness with which Dan had changed the topic once again, but quickly caught up. "Umm…no, we haven't yet."

"We found out about this really mysterious connection that has something to do with drugs and bakeries and ex-lovers and Hansel and Gretel…it's awesome!" Castle exclaimed in typical Castle fashion, to which Dan replied with a similar expression, making Beckett wonder whether she should just leave these two reunited friends alone to celebrate their geekness.

"Drugs you say? And Hansel and Gretel? That's Double Rainbow Awesomesauce! Is it an entire conspiracy or a drug ring or is it… maybe the whole drug thing is just to distract from the actual motive? What if it's the Illuminati again, like in that Dan Brown book? Ohh, this is so cool…"

During the next minutes Beckett switched off and watched the buzzing life in the Old Haunt, sipping on her drink every once in a while, catching key words like "FBI….aliens…awesome…spaceship…warrior women…dark force" along the way. Just when she was sure they weren't talking about the case anymore, Castle said something about drugs and helicopters again and they were back to weed dealers.

"Can we stop talking about work, now?" Beckett asked finally, trying to make it sound not as impolite as it really was. Dan smiled brightly at her.

"But it's so interesting! Almost like in Ricky's books, but real! I can see why he follows you around now. It's really thrilling, this kind of occupation of solving crimes and following leads and coming up with cool theories. Of course he probably also follows you around 'cause you're really hot."

Beckett groaned in defeat and wanted to take a nice long sip of her drink to calm her, but found her glass already empty. Technically, she could easily justify a second cocktail, but ever since her dad had been through that therapy, she was cautious whenever she drank. At home or in a restaurant she would indulge herself every once in a while in a good wine, or a beer even, but when she was at a bar she rarely had enough to get squiffy.

Dan had taken the opportunity of her silence to start a discussion on space cowboys, his mannerism mirroring that of a six-year-old trying to convince his buddy that Luigi was waaaay cooler than Mario. Beckett got up from her bar stool and instantly Castle was beside her, the vitally important space discussion seemingly forgotten.

"Are you leaving already?"

Beckett offered him a genuine smile. "I am. It was really nice though, thanks for inviting me." She turned to Dan. "It was an absolute pleasure, Dan!"

He took her hand and kissed the back of it sweetly. "The pleasure was all mine, Miss Beckett. I hope we will meet again."

"I hope so, too" she answered and turned to Castle again. She knew that he wanted to kiss her, she could see it clearly in his eyes, but she wasn't going to do that here in front of an entire bar population. She also knew that if she'd follow him to a place where they couldn't be seen, she wouldn't be able to stop kissing him, so she simply touched his shoulder instead and said "Goodbye, Rick."

The use of his first name made him so dizzy that she was out of the door before he could summon a reply.

* * *

**A/N:** _Did you like that? I needed some fun stuff after all that case talk in the last chapters. The next chapter is already mostly written, so it should be up soon. It contains pure sexy fluffyness. ;D_

_I wondered about timeline for a second, because if this story is supposed to take place in fall 2010, I'm not sure Castle owns the Old Haunt yet. But this story is AU anyway, so whatever! :)_

_I'm not going to beg for it, but would you kindly tell me what you though of this chapter? _


	28. Explosion

**A/N:** _Oh, well. This story is officially rated M now. I know while some of you are jumping up and down with joy right now, others weren't so thrilled about going M when I asked you back in chapter 12. I really tried to weasel my way around the explicit stuff in chapter 13, but now my muse forced me to write this and well here it is. It's definitely M. Not oh-my-god-I'll-be-scarred-for-life kind of smut, but smut nonetheless._

_And yes, I know I could post the M chapters separately, but I don't think I will, okay? Unless more than 10 people request it. Or maybe 5. XD_

_If you don't feel comfortable reading mature scenes, just skip the middle part of this chapter. You can read everything before and after these dash line thingies (Not the author's notes. Come on, you know what I mean...). There's nothing (much) sexual going on before or after those lines._

_Also, this might be OOC, especially for Kate. Bear with me. Blame it on the Old Haunt cocktail she had. Or on the fact that this is called fiction for a reason.  
_

_To everyone who loves sexy fluffiness or fluffy sexiness - Enjoy! :)  
_

* * *

Kate Beckett was home by 11:45 and in bed by 11:50. She rolled around in her sheets, trying very hard not to inhale their smell, the one that reminded her entirely too much of Rick and made her body tingle in all the right places. She tossed and turned for a while, but couldn't get comfortable. After what seemed like an eternity she looked at the clock in defeat. It was only 6 minutes after midnight. This was going to be a long night.

She knew what it was that made her so restless and for once in a very long time it had nothing to do with a case. She also knew that she had to do something about it or she wouldn't be able to sleep at all. The Captain had ordered her to stay at home until 8 in the morning and that meant it was still another 7 hours until she had to get up.

By 12:17 she had caught herself, twice actually, seriously debating reaching under her bed to find out whether something with batteries would be able to bring her enough satisfaction to finally succumb to sleep. She kept reminding herself that she didn't need anything or anyone in order to fall asleep, but she also had to admit that nothing and no one had ever been as _good_ as Rick Castle.

At half past twelve she couldn't take it anymore and got out of bed. She paced around her bedroom for another two minutes, then headed to the kitchen, got herself a glass of water and sat down at her kitchen table. She gulped down the water and sighed. After another 5 minutes she had enough pent up sexual frustration inside her to explode.

She breathed in deeply and slowly released the warm air. Then she got up, left her glass in the sink and went to put some clothes on.

* * *

At exactly 1 o clock in the morning she knocked on Castle's door. She knew that the chances were slim to non-existent that he would be home or still awake, let alone hear her silent knock, but she had to try. She had to feel his hands on her now, to hell with the consequences.

The door opened just when she raised her hand to knock a second time. A discomposed Rick looked at her with no small amount of surprise, still in his shirt and pants from the day, but barefoot. "Uh…Hi" he said and swallowed hard at the undisguised lust in her eyes and the blistering heat that seemed to be radiating from her body.

"Are you alone?" she heard herself say as if from a distance, her voice throaty and urgent. He barely managed to get out a trembling "Yes" before her mouth crashed down on his. His fingers roughly found her soft hair as he pressed her lips even closer. She pushed him into the apartment with her entire body tightly squeezed to his and kicked at the door with her heel. His first two buttons were already undone when it fell in place behind her.

Her hands seemed to be everywhere at once, an eager frenzy driving her, inflaming the blood in their veins. He was a little shocked at her surprising nocturnal visit and her aggressiveness, but now was not the time for questions. He nudged her backwards with a tight grip on her hips until her back hit the door.

She took his lower lip between her teeth and he moaned while she freed him from the confines of his shirt. He hissed at the exquisite pain of her nails dragging across his bare skin and they separated long enough for him to pull her shirt over her head. Their mouths connected again, tongues dueling, teeth clashing. He dragged his palms roughly down her chest and stomach, her skin already burning under his touch.

When they parted for breath he took the opportunity to slide the straps of her bra down her shoulders with his teeth, his arms encircling her waist and gliding upwards on her soft flesh. He found the back clasp and, breathing heavily onto her neck, opened it without fumbling. She distantly wondered how often he'd done this before in order to be so good at it. But then his mouth was on her breast and she stopped thinking entirely.

"I want you" he murmured in a low, incredibly arousing rasp against her hot skin.  
"I need you" he added, even lower, barely more than a breathy moan. She cried out when his teeth closed around her nipple. He looked up at her face, his mouth still on her breast, one of his hands reaching around to unbutton her pants. Her hair was ruffled, flowed in thick waves around her bare shoulders, framing her beautiful face. Her eyes were closed in pleasure, her lips slightly parted, showing just the hint of a blissful smile. He'd never seen anything as arousing as this.

"Say something in Italian" he demanded as he unzipped her pants and dragged them down her endless legs, soothing her skin with his hands as he went, a delicious contrast against the roughness of his voice and the fabric of her jeans.

"Ti voglio…ti voglio bene" she breathed and it meant 'I want you', 'I need you' and 'I love you' all at once. In this instant, it didn't matter, because Kate's mind was far too clouded to realize what she'd just said and Rick didn't understand a word.

The sexiness of her voice, the suppleness of her skin beneath his hands, the way her tongue caressed the foreign syllables – it was enough to make him groan and lose control.

He leaned up to cover her mouth again, pouring all of his need and desire into this passionate kiss.

"Bed" she mumbled beneath his lips and he stepped back from her. Her eyes shot open when she immediately missed his warmth, his touch, him.

"Come back" she whispered and didn't care that it sounded almost like pleading. He did what she wanted and moved into her embrace again, smiling against her mouth when she sighed happily. With more strength than she'd expected from him he lifted her up and her legs encircled his waist, holding on to him and keeping him close. His arms supported her weight below her bottom and he took some cautious steps to make sure she was secured in his hold. Then he slowly carried her up the stairs, one step at a time.

"Good boy" she murmured approvingly when he gently let her down at the top.

He arched an eyebrow. "Boy?"

She chuckled and captured his mouth in a breathtaking kiss. "Prove to me that you're a man" she teased hoarsely and then squealed when he lifted her up again, bridal style this time, to carry her into his bedroom. When they had just crossed the threshold of his door she arched her head to nibble on his ear and mercilessly lick and suck on his neck until he couldn't take it anymore. When he finally reached his bed he gladly laid her down, for he wasn't sure he'd be able to sustain an upright position anymore.

Kate gasped when he sunk down on top of her with his full weight, pressing her into the luxurious satin, enveloping her in a searing kiss. He then went on to devour the soft flesh where her shoulder joined her neck. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the pleasure he initiated by roaming her body with his fingers and palms.

"Rick" she moaned when he skimmed her most sensitive area through the fabric of her panties. He was sure his name had never sounded sexier.

He didn't keep his hands there but instead cupped her breast again and flicked his thumb against her nipple. During the next minutes, her sighs and gasps and moans filled the silence of the otherwise empty apartment.

When she was so close to the edge that she could see stars behind her closed lids, she opened them and caught his restless hands in hers. "You…overdressed" she mumbled against his delicious lips and moved their joined hands to his pants. When he'd been freed from the painfully restricting garments, only her simple panties and the perspiration that dampened their bodies separated them from each other.

"Definitely a man" he rumbled and ripped the last barrier down her legs.

When his fingers immediately found her clit she screamed and let her head fall back. He lingered motionless on that sweet spot for a second to drive her insane and then started rubbing alluring circles. When she grabbed his hair and pulled him up for a fiery kiss, he slid a finger into her wetness. Her body arched up to meet his touch and he added a second one. Then he sucked on her lip and pressed his thumb down on her clit.

She cried out when the sudden orgasm rippled through her with unknown force. Her body tightened beneath him and she clutched his upper arms, her nails digging forcefully into his skin. His fingers kept pumping into her until she relaxed into his embrace.

"Kate" he said gently, "Look at me".

He positioned himself at her entrance and when her darkened, sparkling eyes focused on his, he slowly slid into her. Her eyes widened and his breath caught in his throat at the feeling of her completely surrounding him. He tried to keep a slow, gentle pace but soon it wasn't enough for either of them. His hand found one of her knees and carefully nudged it aside, opening her a little more to him and changing the angle so that he hit a particularly sweet spot with his next thrust.

"More!" she groaned and he drove himself into her harder, faster and deeper than before. His strokes created a glorious friction and when his lips found hers he felt her inner muscles quiver around him. After one more thrust she burst again, taking him with her this time.

* * *

When they came back to their senses, Kate's damp hair stuck to her forehead and a satiated, complacent smile graced her features.

"Did that really just happen or did I drink more than I think I did?" Rick asked, still out of breath and too exhausted to completely open his eyelids. At first she just mumbled unintelligible things with her mouth against his skin, but then she languidly lifted her head.

"I don't think we can blame alcohol for this. At least not entirely" she murmured and smiled at him.

She rested her head back on Rick's shoulder. He hummed a content noise in return and wrapped an arm around her, holding her close. She didn't mind.

By 2 o' clock, Kate Beckett was fast asleep.

* * *

**A/N:** _This is my first real M scene. Please tell me what you thought of it, even (or especially, actually) if you didn't like it. Please? *-* If I promise cookies?_


	29. Around Sunrise

**A/N:**_ An anonymous reviewer pointed out to me that they didn't use protection in the last chapter. I honestly planned on addressing that in this chapter, or somehow edit it into an earlier one, but it just didn't work out the way I wanted it to. Since they already had sex in chapter 13, it would be kind of pointless and redundant if they talked about it just now. So for the sake of plot and storyline, please assume that they, at some point in the past, before having sex, talked about the issue and that Beckett is on the pill. There won't be any Castle babies in this story, okay? They're most definitely not ready for that yet!_

_Oh, now that we're kind of on that topic – once this is done, would you like to see a sequel or do you want me to try something new? Tell me via review? ;)_

_Now, I'm going to stop with the rambling. This chapter is shorter than I wanted it to be, but it will have to work for now. (My heat broke so it's almost freezing in my bedroom. My fingers are too cold to keep typing…)_

_Please enjoy your prescribed daily treatment of fluff! :D

* * *

_

When Kate woke up, she found herself snuggled close to his chest, his velvety satin sheets carelessly sprawled across their naked bodies. Rick was already awake, his eyes wandering restlessly around the room. At the sight of his bright blue eyes so close to hers, she felt a grin spread across her face. She sighed in delight at the simple pleasure of waking up beside him. This was so much better than waking up alone.

Hearing her sigh and feeling her breath brush across his chest, he looked down at her, slightly afraid of the nature of the sigh. He prayed to anyone that listened that she wouldn't run away from this, or talk last night into being something as easy as a booty call.

"Buongiorno" she said and snuggled closer, lightly kissing his chest. He broke into a bright grin, realizing that, for now, she wasn't going anywhere. "That means 'Good morning', right?" he asked and she looked up and nodded, her hair tickling his chest.

"You should teach me" he proposed and she chuckled, the sound ringing almost heavenly in his ears.  
"Do you really want to go through that?" she asked and laid her head back down. Although she would never admit it to his face, he made the nicest kind of pillow.

"Just some words" he begged and sweetly kissed the top of her head, aimlessly trailing his fingers up and down her bare sides.

There it was again: that flutter, that feeling inside her every cell, that tingling notion of…love. Oh, god. She really loved him. She tried to blink the thought away. She didn't want to analyze this right now, was sure that her head was messing with her because she was here in his arms and their real life seemed so far away.

She thought about his request for a moment. "Colazione" she said at last.

"Carl-a-sione?"

"Co-la-zi-O-ne" she repeated slowly, trying hard to suppress the smile that was tugging at her lips.

"Cola-see-OHH-ne" he tried again and she vividly nodded her head, giving in and grinning from ear to ear. Then she leaned up and kissed him quickly, as if to reward him for his cute efforts to get the word right.

"What does it mean?" he asked.

"Breakfast" she responded and he laughed, the vibrations thrillingly racing down her spine.

He briefly tightened his arms around her. "Are you hungry?"

Instead of an answer, her stomach let out a low growl in response.

"Guess that's a yes" he chuckled. "Do you want pancakes?"

She arched her neck until their lips were almost touching, but not quite. "Do you treat all your conquests to pancakes in the morning, Mr. Castle?" she asked coyly, her breath teasing his lips. His look went from amused and lusty to serious in a split second.  
"Only you" he stated honestly and she had no choice but to believe him. "And you're not a conquest" he added and her insides jittered and fluttered as if filled with butterflies. He closed the distance between their lips and she closed her eyes. She moved further up his body, so that their position was more comfortable and gently touched her hand to his cheek. She broke the simple kiss before she could get lost in him and he was about to say something when her stomach growled again. They both grinned stupidly at each other.

"You would have to get out of bed to make pancakes, right?" she asked rhetorically and he kissed her again, another sweet, innocent kiss that left her molten inside.

"You could call in sick and I could order in. Then we could stay in bed all day" he proposed in a seductive voice and wriggled his eyebrows at her. She smiled and kissed him again, lingering a little longer than she'd first intended. She moaned when his hands – now very intentionally – travelled up her sides and her mouth involuntarily opened to the touch of his tongue. Her hand automatically moved from his cheek into his hair and tugged him closer. She bit down on his lower lip and then released him with a last flick of her tongue. His eyes were glazed over and his breathing was ragged.

"You know we can't do that" she murmured and venturously dragged her nails across the back of his neck. "We have to close this case first. The faster we get done with that, the earlier we can do this again" she promised huskily and ground her naked body against his.

He drew in a sharp breath. "You're a wicked woman" he groaned before he captured her lips in a searing, passionate kiss. When his lips and teeth made their way down to her soft neck she arched into him and whimpered. Just then a terrible thought dawned on her and she quickly pulled away.

"Please tell me Alexis and Martha didn't come home last night or I think I might jump out the window!" she exclaimed fearfully, her eyes opened in wide shock.

"Oh please don't jump. Wouldn't want to ruin such a perfectly beautiful morning" he answered jokingly and she lightly slapped his chest.

"Where are they?" she asked, still frightened and not entirely convinced that his smile translated into the information she wanted to hear.

"Alexis at a sleepover, Martha in L.A." he assured her with a smile at last and she released a tense breath.

Her head fell back to his chest and her body relaxed into his embrace. She really didn't feel like getting up yet. The evidence of Rick's arousal was pressed against her lower body, so she was pretty certain that he shared her attitude.

A quick glance at the bedside clock assured her that it was only 6:23 and they weren't running late. Her internal alarm system seemed to work even when she wasn't sleeping in her own bed.

She was just trying to convince herself to get up when Rick gently rolled them around, so that she wasn't lying on top of him anymore. He surprised her again when he didn't make any advances, like she'd expected him to, but instead dropped a kiss onto her forehead and moved to get up.

"You stay in bed and rest for a little while longer and I'll make breakfast, okay?" he said and she was too stunned to form a coherent reply. He stood up, naked as he was, and strolled to the door, whistling. By the time her brain had come up with any objections, he was long gone.

* * *

**A/N:** _I've been really bad with handing out promised cookies to you. I really plan on answering as many reviews as possible, but with the amount of them I get right now, I've had a hard time following up. That's not a bad thing at all, you know! You've been so completely amazing with your reviews and support for this story, I feel really honored and humbled and overwhelmed! :)_

_This story now has more than 100.000 hits and more than 200 alerts! I'm incredibly happy about that and it really inspires me and keeps me working really hard. _

_A huge, heartfelt THANK YOU! To all of you out there, everyone who reads this story, or added it to their favorites or alerts or left a review! You are all fantastically amazing with a side of awesomesauce! Big hugs to all of you!_

_And I will, eventually, reply to your reviews. I promise!_  
_But now I need to sleep._ ;)


	30. A Sunlit Morning

**A/N:**_ There is a little more Ryan in this chapter than I thought there'd be when I started it. I like that, but I'm afraid he and Kate are slightly out of character. Or actually Ryan's just particularly dorky in this one. If you tell me how to fix it, I definitely will, okay? _

_I'm not entirely comfortable with this chapter, I didn't have enough time to rewrite it, but I feel it will only get worse the more I mull __over __everything. I would be extremely happy if you would leave me a review on this. Just tell me what you did or didn't like. I'd truly appreciate it. _

_Now don't listen to my terrible self-pity and ENJOY!

* * *

_

"Whoah! Now this time it must be a hickey!" Esposito exclaimed when Beckett made her way into the bullpen exactly two minutes after 8. She managed to blush and self-consciously raise her hand to her neck and at the same time look intimidating. "It's...You're mentally deranged" she told Esposito, not wanting to deal with his teasing today.

"Seriously, you can't talk yourself out of this one. The alien abduction excuse only works once" Esposito said with a complacent smile and that darn contemptible gleam in his eyes.

Beckett only grunted and glared at him before slumping down into her chair with a huff born out of frustration and anger. She decided it would be healthiest to direct her anger at someone else instead of at her own unthoughtfulness.

Oh, Castle was so going to pay for that! Marking her like that where everyone could see it! She would bet a year's salary that he'd known what he was doing. She was going to make him suffer. And Esposito, too. He and Ryan were going to _beg_ her to do paperwork for the rest of eternity by the end of this day. Maybe even earlier, if Esposito kept that smile on his face for about another second.

Just when she had calmed herself down enough to look at the task at hand and focus on their case, Ryan came around the corner with a thick folder and immediately broke into a huge grin once he spotted Beckett and the apparently very obvious mark on her neck. "Gooood morning, Beckett!" he greeted cheerfully and Beckett tried her death stare on him.

"How was your night?" he asked smugly, but the smile dropped from his face as soon as he noticed a vein pulsing dangerously by her temple, always a tell that she was trying to reign in her anger. "Guess you don't want to talk about it" he muttered hurriedly and opened the folder in his hands.

"Anyway, I found something. I tried all morning to find a connection between Eagle and our first vic Harris, so…" Ryan trailed off and balanced the thick folder in one hand so he could flip through the pages. It was true, Ryan and Esposito had already been in for about an hour and a half, their work ethics forcing them out of bed even on a Saturday. Beckett had by then put her suicidal and slaughterous thoughts aside and was listening intently to whatever Ryan would have to say.

"…I called the food company James Eagle worked for and got all their contracts, shift schedules, delivery routes and stuff like that. I found this" he said triumphantly and pulled out a small sheet and held it up. Beckett looked at the sheet expectantly, maybe waiting for something to pop out of the seemingly normal paper. When nothing happened, she trained her questioning glance at Ryan again. He finally moved towards her and placed the sheet on her desk, so that she could examine it. Esposito rolled his chair over and peeked over her shoulder at the miracle paper.

"What is this?" Beckett asked at last, having no clue at all what she was looking at, seeing only lines and mysterious numbers. Ryan sighed like the model pupil that had to always point out the obvious because no one else got it right. "It's a map! It's Eagle's daily delivery route through the city" he said, refraining from adding a tempting "Duh!".

"And what am I s'posed to find exactly, bro?" Esposito chaffed his friend, looking as confused and lost as Beckett at the lines and dots and numbers on the sheet. Ryan sighed once more, feeling beaten and hopeless.

"Eagle picked up his truck load at LaGuardia every Monday morning" he explained and pointed at some of the dots and numbers in the right corner of the sheet. "See?" he asked, but the other two detectives stared on with dumb expressions.

"So we have an additional connection to the airport, apart from his ex Charlie. That's good" Beckett concluded and Ryan nodded eagerly, having finally made at least one of them understand. Esposito still didn't look convinced.

"Do you also see this?" Ryan asked and pointed at another batch of apparently meaningful symbols on the page. Esposito raised an eyebrow, leaned closer, shook his head and then turned to his partner. "I give up" he said and shrugged his shoulders in defeat. "Just tell me what you found out, dude."

Ryan snatched the paper from under Beckett's nose and put it in his folder again. Both detectives were looking up at him, each raising an impatient eyebrow, but Ryan wasn't one to hurry.

"Throughout my lengthy study of this delivery plan, I have uncovered that there is indeed a connection between the two victims" he said excitedly and paused dramatically until Beckett threw her hands up and glared at him with a fury and passion that made him gulp. "More accurately, there is a connection between the bakery that Mr. Harris worked in, 'Good Morning Sunshine', and the food company Mr. Eagle worked for."

Sensing from his colleagues fuming gazes that he shouldn't delay the inevitable anymore, Ryan took a deep breath and at last told them what they had been waiting to hear. "Every Monday, after picking up his load at LaGuardia, Eagle delivered flour and other eco-friendly baking ingredients to the Sunshine bakery, where our dear Mr. Harris was turned into Mr. Crisp on a Monday earlier this week."

Beckett let out some air with a puff. She was still trying to coordinate all the information they had about this case so far with the news about Harris and Eagle. She was just turning around to her desk to come up with a theory when Ryan cleared his throat. "I'm not done yet" he said and showed his white teeth in a proud smile. Esposito leaned back in his rolling chair and crossed his arms in front of his chest, wondering what on earth had gotten into his partner this morning.

"Considering we found trace amounts of drugs on both victims, I also did a little research on recent weed and coke investigations and came up with a theory."

Esposito snorted.

"What?" Ryan said, a little offended and slightly befuddled. "I'm a detective, I can build theory if I have to!" he defended himself and Beckett rolled her eyes at the boys' caveman behavior. "Go on, Ryan, we all know you can do your job just as good as every other detective at this station, okay?" she tried to calm him down, but he wasn't satisfied with her attempt.

"One day I'm going to show you all, you know! I can crack a case wide open with my great detecting skills!" he exclaimed and Beckett shut her eyes. Why did this have to happen to her? Why did everyone always choose the worst possible times for hissy fits, infantile outbursts and pointless competitions? She was sensing that today would be one long, awful Saturday and it hadn't even really started yet.

She opened her eyes and looked up at Ryan again, who was currently pouting and staring coldly at his partner. "Ryan" she said softly, "Kevin." He turned to look at her at the sound of his rarely used first name.

"You are an intelligent, good, helpful, irreplaceable detective and I have great respect for your work and you as a person." She waited until the compliment had trickled down into his consciousness. "Could you please tell us your theory now, so that we can all get on with our work?" she asked as quietly and patiently as she could, trying to convey that, although she was annoyed as hell, she really did mean it.

Ryan nodded. "Of course. Sorry." He turned to Esposito, who gave a brotherly nod of his own and motioned with his hand for Ryan to continue.

"Charlie Marx has access to all the hangars at LaGuardia, right? Someone brings in drugs via plane and Charlie picks them up and gets them to James Eagle, who spreads them across town in his delivery truck." Beckett nodded. So far, it sounded plausible enough.

"Eagle also provides the 'Good Morning Sunshine' bakery with some of the marijuana. I found reports on suspicious behavior in several cases across the district where people hallucinated after eating cupcakes bought in Harris' bakery. I have no idea how we missed that during our initial investigation!" he exclaimed and shot an accusing look at Esposito, who was only mildly impressed by his partner's detecting skills.

Beckett in turn felt like the day had just gotten a little better. "I guess we didn't really look into drug reports because there was no incentive to do so. I'm glad you did now, Ryan."

He smiled, his self-confidence boosted again like it had been when he'd first walked in. "I think Eagle wanted out of the whole deal and Charlie killed him to silence him. Maybe that's why they broke up a month ago, maybe Charlie really did want to talk to him at Starbucks but things didn't turn out the way he thought. We're also going to look at that Harris murder again. That accidental shove into the oven might have not been so accidental if the boss and his girlfriend knew about the drugs in their cupcakes."

Beckett nodded approvingly. "Excellent work, detective. I'll get search warrants for the bakery and Charlie's apartment and you do a little digging at the airport."

She was already up and in her coat before she was done talking.

The boys scrambled to their feet and collected their things as Beckett made her way to the elevators. Turning around she called back to them. "If you see Castle, tell him I'm at the courthou…Never mind!" she trailed off when said writer stepped out of the elevator with two steaming cups of coffee. She allowed herself to shyly smile at him, silently wondering how he'd already lifted up her mood just by showing up.

"Get back in there" she ordered and Castle chuckled. "This feels like a déjà vu. Are you going to stare me down and fight about paparazzi with me again?" he asked and she rolled her eyes and walked past him into the elevator.

When the doors closed in front of them she turned to him and accepted the coffee he was handing to her. "No" she said and inhaled the delicious smell before taking a long sip with both hands around the warm cup. "No paparazzi fights."

He genuinely smiled down at her and she couldn't help but smile back. Then she remembered something and one eyebrow arched threateningly. "We should have a talk about hickeys though..."

* * *

**A/N:**_ So how'd you guys like Knockdown? The single most anticipated TV episode in my life, I must admit. What about you? I was positively surprised at all the amazing Ryan/Esposito parts. And Beckett was an emotional wreck bad ass that finally openly accepted Castle as her partner. Didn't you just love how he tried to hide his smile when she introduced him as 'someone I trust' to Raglan? And Ryan invented "ass-clown" as my new favorite insult. He's just adorable. Martha was great too. I love seeing her so serious for a change. Great acting by Sullivan, too.  
And who are we kidding...I'm not even going to start on that KISS. I won't be able to stop. So I better..._


	31. Out Of The Frying Pan?

**A/N:** _So as you may or may not have noticed, I haven't updated this is story in quite some time. :'(_  
_(Some of you may have read the note I left on my profile page...) _

_I didn't get bored with this story or anything, I just simply went to Austria to dash down the snowy mountains on my skis. :D_  
_But of course I took pen and paper with me and feverishly kept writing on this fanfic! ;D_

_I truly hope I haven't lost any of you during this small hiatus. And to conciliate your loyal fanfiction hearts (and because you're awesome and I love you), I decided to give you a flashback of fluff before I bring some trouble to paradise during the next couple of chapters! Say thank you via review? ;)_

_Last thing: I'm tired and it's late and I still haven't figured out how to get myself a beta reader, so mistakes are all mine. You may kindly point them out to me, because I have gone over this chapter for so long that I'm sure I'm not going to find any more.  
_

_Now Enjoy!_

* * *

"Hickeys you say?" he grinned and trailed his gaze down to her neck. "Now why would you want to talk to me about that?"

The Cheshire cat would be proud of him. She rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean. And if you ever leave a mark on me again, I will find you and make you pay!" she threatened, but he could tell that she was only halfheartedly into it.  
They were both thinking back to how exactly she'd come across that traitorous mark on her neck.

***_Earlier that morning_***

_Of course she didn't stay in bed like he'd told her to. She had no toiletries with her though, so instead of going into the adjoining bathroom, she tucked the comforter around her naked body and took the opportunity to examine his room a little closer. _

_It was simply, but elegantly decorated. Homey, familiar and welcoming, but with a definite masculine touch. The dark wooden furniture, the handpicked paintings, the intriguing wall color – it all matched perfectly but felt far too much like Castle to have been arranged by an interior designer. Her gaze settled on a small bookshelf that held multiple family pictures, tastefully but affectionately displayed._

_She didn't notice Rick when he entered, so he took his time to examine her as closely as she was examining Alexis' pictures. The quilt hung low on her back, barely covering her bottom, bunched together in front where she clasped it to her chest. She looked comfortable like that, probably because she wasn't expecting anyone to be watching. Her long, brown hair fell down her bare skin and hugged her shoulders and it drew him to her like a magnetic pole._

_He moved closer and could pinpoint the exact moment when she became aware of him – in the way her hips shifted to the side, purposely dropping the comforter even lower to leave little to the imagination, her posture changing into that of a person that knew she was being watched. Her face was a perfect mask though, one that hid whatever was going through her mind as he stopped beside her, his breath close enough to slowly sway her hair back and forth. Rick brushed his thumb across her hipbone and then reached around under the comforter, drawing patterns on the skin of her stomach. _

_He bowed his head to kiss her bare shoulder and at his touch she threw her head to the side to expose her neck, recklessly demanding attention, her eyes glued to the pictures and indicating not even the hint of an emotion. A thrill ran down his spine at this display of complete control and confidence. Her eyes rested firmly on the picture frames and refused to close even when he pressed a kiss to her pulse point and began to suck on it. _

_Oh hell, she was fascinating! Here she was, teasing him without even looking at him, making him yearn for her and igniting a fire with just one simple gesture, one turn of her head. As he trailed his free hand down her shoulders she still refused to give anything away, her even breathing betraying her arousal. He briefly wished that he hadn't already dressed, because then it would be easier to just carry her back to bed. After what seemed like an eternity she finally gave in and softly sighed, leaning into him as he continued to work her neck with his mouth and the soft underside of her breast with his hand._

"_I could get used to this" he said against her skin. "You and me, together" he murmured and regretted the words immediately when she stiffened and moved her head away from his kiss. Disappointment washed over him, because although they hadn't really talked about their relationship yet, he had hoped that…oh well, he didn't really know what he'd hoped. She turned around but didn't look at him._

"_I should…go now. Home. I need to brush my teeth and shower and…" she trailed off when she flicked her gaze up to his eyes and saw the undisguised disappointment in them. _

"_Stay for breakfast" he asked softly, his voice betraying the expression on his face, __now sad enough to make dictators cry__. It was unbearable, so she looked away. "It's just pancakes" he tried again._

_She drew in a sharp breath and slowly released it. "You know it's not _just_ pancakes." _

_Her green depths met his blue ones and he dared to step closer. Her eyes widened until he was faced with those irresistible hazel doe-eyes and he tentatively placed his hands atop her curled ones on the quilt. His thumbs brushed against the back of her wrists._

"_Please stay for breakfast. Don't turn this into something it isn't."_

_To hear those concerned words spoken out loud__, part of her own doubts voiced__ by him instead of her, made her come undone and she couldn't resist anymore. She craned her neck to touch her lips to his and with that, gave her answer._

_The relief was distinctly visible in his eyes when he pulled away after a minute or two. He knew if he kept kissing her like that for any much longer when she had nothing on but his comforter, they would never make it to the precinct today. Reluctantly he stepped away from her and she timidly clutched the comforter, which had partly slipped from her body while they had been kissing._

"_I put out an extra toothbrush and towel for you in the bathroom" he said with a last reassuring smile at her and quickly left the room, not wanting to risk setting __off __the fire alarm because his trademark chocolate chip pancakes were burning once again._

_When she came down the open staircase ten minutes later, her hair was brushed and pulled up in a ponytail and her complexion looked decidedly more awake and professional. She was wearing the clothes she had mindfully changing into before coming to his place last night so that she wouldn't have to go back to her apartment before going in to the precinct._

_All thoughts about their still undefined relationship and the urge to run they elicited in her moved aside when she took in the wonderful sight of the perfect breakfast spread out across the kitchen isle. She couldn't help but smile at this domestic side of Castle, the one that made him seem more like a woman than her. _

"_You know what Esposito thinks pancakes mean, right?" she asked and sat down on one of the high stools at the counter. _

"_Uh huh" he mumbled around a piece of bacon he had snatched off the plate he'd just set in front of her. "And it's fitting, don't you think?" he added after swallowing, coming to a halt beside her._

_She smiled shyly. He surprised her when he reached an arm around her waist and pulled her to him, crushing her into his side. His voice was a soft, husky murmur when he spoke. "Thank you…so much…for last night"_

"_Don't think it's going to happen again anytime soon" she teased to distract herself from the butterflies in her stomach and the thrill that had raced straight to her core. When he pushed out his lower lip in a cute pout, she simply couldn't resist. She leaned up to catch that inviting lip between her teeth and then shifted off the bar stool to her tiptoes to kiss him until he saw black dots dancing in front of his eyes. He tasted like bacon and toothpaste and Rick Castle and her whole body melted into him. Her knees almost buckled when he sucked her tongue into his mouth._

_They pulled apart and he smiled amusedly at her. She somehow managed to glare at him. "What?"  
His smile turned into a smug, incorrigible grin. "I make you weak in the knees" he said delightedly.  
She refrained from rolling her eyes, but narrowed them to dangerous slits. "Don't think too much of yourself, Castle. I just haven't had my coffee yet."_

_She really abhorred it whenever his ego got so inflated he seemed to float ten feet above the ground. But all her efforts couldn't wipe that damn grin off his face. "Just keep telling yourself that, detective."_

_She turned back to her plate and dug in. She didn't even blink when he put a steaming coffee mug in front of her face._

"_Just to get this clear, we're coming in separately today, got it?"she told him in a tone that allowed no arguing._

"_Got it" Rick said and poured a quart of syrup onto his stack of pancakes._

_***At the precinct***  
_

Back in the elevator Rick couldn't help but realize that they still hadn't really resolved anything. But the precinct elevator wasn't exactly the best place to discuss the status of their relationship, so he thought for a long second about how to phrase his question.

"Are we okay?" he finally asked, serious and earnest, but not enough to scare her away again.

She nodded, "Yes". For now, she added in her mind. But for now that was enough.

* * *

**A/N:** _So how did you manage with the weird flashback layout? Was it alright like this or did you get confused? I'm sure you figured out that the flashback scene fits right in after chapter 29. In fact, if I had posted that flashback as chapter 30, I wouldn't have to deal with this weird flashback thing right now. But this only came to me after I had already posted the 30. chapter at the precinct, and I don't like going back and changing things. So, enough with the rambling..._

_Updates should come fast now, because I wrote a lot (seriously, a LOT) last week._  
_Oh and also - reviews are love. But you know that, right? =)_


	32. BlowOut

**A/N:** _Caution! There's trouble ahead!  
I personally think things have been going way too smooth for our favorite couple so far (even though they had things go wrong...like when she woke up alone...still!), so I decided that they can't move to the next step in their still-not-officially-talked-about relationship until they have had a nice loud fight. Just so you're warned. _

_Now Enjoy! ;)_**

* * *

**Castle always held his breath when they walked into the courthouse. Not many New York citizens kept affectionate memories of the Thurgood Marshall United States Court, but he'd always admired this grand, historic building and the prestige that seemed to radiate from every marble corner.

They caught Judge Markway on his way from one hurried session to the next, robe fluttering behind him with every energetic step he took.

"Good morning, detective" he greeted without slowing down. "Rick" he nodded friendly and Castle nodded back. "Read about you two in the paper" he said casually. Beckett blushed and looked away, but the scolding she'd expected never came.

"I wish the both of you the best of luck. You make an interesting couple" the Judge said with a smile and Beckett blushed even more. Castle just grinned smugly. The small group finally stopped in front of a tall, heavy door.

"If he ever becomes too much to handle, just give me a call" Judge Markway said with a wink at Beckett and turned to face Castle. "Did you hear that they had to close the golf course because of a mole problem?"  
Castle didn't even blink at the fast turn in the conversation. "Oh yeah, can you believe it?"

"I'm sorry to interrupt, your honor" Beckett intercepted before their society talk got out of hand. "But I need you to sign off two search warrants for me."

"On a Saturday?" the Judge asked and shifted the salmon papers of the Financial Times in his hands.

"I'm afraid so, your honor. We have reason to believe that a case we thought we'd closed earlier this week and a recent one are connected, so the longer we wait, the likelier it is that the trail of evidence will be destroyed. This could cost us not only one but two cases, sir." She handed him two forms and when the judge got out a black fountain pen, Castle's back had to once again serve as a makeshift support.

"I trust your instincts on this one, detective, because you've closed a lot of cases for this city so far, but you better solve these fast, got it?"  
He capped his fountain pen and handed her the forms.

"Of course, sir. Thank you very much." She was already turning away, eager to get going because she was still embarrassed.

"Ricky!" the Judge called after Castle when they had just made their first steps. They turned and Castle raised one eyebrow questioningly.

"Are you holding your pre-Thanksgiving party this year?" the Judge asked, his thoughts hidden behind a perfect mask of professionalism, already prepping for the hearing. Castle smiled but stole a quick glance at Beckett before he answered.  
"Was planning on it, your honor."

"I expect an invitation on my desk before the end of this week, understood?" Markway demanded. Castle smiled at his friend. "Understood."

"I'm looking forward to seeing you there too, detective" the Judge said before he heaved the door open and they watched his dark robe disappear into the halls of justice.

"I hate those papers!" Beckett exclaimed grumpily once they had turned around the corner. "Don't they understand that some things might want to be kept private? Everyone is making assumptions and stupid comments. Even the Judge knows about us!"

Castle's answer got stuck in his throat when they stepped out of the building and were greeted by a flash of cameras and a flock of yelling reporters. They were here for an arrest that had just been made in a double homicide case involving a small girl and were eagerly snapping pictures of the criminal, but then caught sight of the author and his muse.

Within a second the attention of about 20 reporters were on the newly exposed couple, their cameras flashing to get the perfect shot.

Beckett froze in shock as snippets of their yells made their way to her consciousness.

"Rick! Ricky! What can you tell us about your latest hot hook-up with your cop friend?"  
"Detective Beckett, do you think your clearance rate is suffering from the new surge in your sex life?"  
"Did you buy her a ring already, Rick?"  
"How would you feel about being wife number three, Kate?"  
"Will this be the end of the Heat series, or only the beginning?"  
"Does this mean we get more scenes like the one on Page 105 of 'Heat Wave'? Will you base them on reality now?"  
"Rick, come on, tell us honestly: is the reality as good as the fiction?"

She couldn't think straight around the thumping of her heart and the pang in her chest, the reporters' rude questions swirling in her head which was empty of useful thoughts, but full of too many angry ones. She felt Castle's presence behind her, equally taken aback and speechless, although she was sure he'd come up with something to say soon.

The soothing touch of his hand on her back spun her into action and she made a run for her life, dodging around the cameras and microphones and quickly reentering the courthouse, instinctively knowing that she wouldn't make it to her car without committing a bloodbath out there. The guard that had just watched her leave let her skip the security check without comment and she hastily made her way towards the back exit.

Footsteps echoed through the hallway behind her only 10 seconds later and she prayed they weren't from a reporter that had slipped past security. Or from Castle, for that matter.

"Kate!" Castle yelled after her, louder and angrier than he had intended. It made her head turn and finally he could see her face. It almost made him trip.

"Don't!" she almost yelled back. "Don't even try! This…Us…It's never going to work!"  
She gulped around the salty thickness of unshed tears in her throat.

Castle's eyes widened and she could see the storm of emotions raging in his head, ranging from anger and outrage to fear and shock. But his voice was a little more controlled than before when he started the pleading she'd anticipated.

"Don't run away from this, they're just reporters! Don't let them ruin what we have! We have a chance, we work!" he insisted. "You have seen that we work! We are great together - no - extraordinary even!" He was grasping at straws now, helplessly seeing that his words didn't change her expression.

"We've been on a date and it worked!" he tried, exhausted and desperate.

Her expression turned from struggling and crestfallen to incredulous. She didn't bother to lower her voice and screamed at him at the top of her lungs.

"Oh, right! ONE date! We couldn't even control ourselves for longer than a couple of hours until we were jumping each other! Did we have great sex? Yes! Does it mean we have a chance? No!" she argued.

He could barely believe what he had just heard.

"Oh come on, this isn't about sex, it never was. You know that!" he shouted and tried with all his heart to convince her to see what he saw in them, because he didn't have a clue what he'd do if she didn't.

"This is exactly why I didn't want to do this in the first place! This is … a mess!" she yelled and threw her hands up in a distraught gesture. "It's not supposed to be like this and it all started with you…" she accused him, finger jabbing at his direction, eyes wild and furious like he had never seen her before.

"Don't make it sound like I forced you into something!" he came back at her, physically stepping closer during his rant. "I waited for you for two years and I would have kept waiting! I wanted to do this right, but you… you made offers I couldn't refuse, you practically threw yourself at me!"

When she stopped dead in her movements and looked utterly shocked, he knew these hadn't been the right words to say. He kept on trying. "I wouldn't have pushed this! I'm not the one that turned up at my doorstep in the middle of the night…."

Now that really hadn't been the right thing to say. At. All.

"Oh don't you dare let it come down to that!" she screamed, then paused and sucked in a breath. When she spoke again her voice was dangerously quiet, threatening and futile as if interrogating a suspect.

"I knew that it was a mistake the moment I knocked on your door."

He steadied himself before answering, his voice now, too, a little quieter and raw with emotion.

"You think this is a mistake?"

She hesitated for only a split second. "Yes. Probably the biggest mistake I've ever made."

His eyes turned cold, but he didn't allow himself to look away. He wanted her to know how much this hurt him, how it almost made him fall apart. He was searching desperately for a sign that would give away that she was only bluffing, for a spark of hope in her stony eyes.

"Fine" he spit out and although he wanted nothing more than to make her stay, make her see, he couldn't find the words. Richard Castle, author extraordinaire, could not find the words, could only stand there, frozen in place, his heart heavy and aching.

"Fine" she echoed, turned away and disappeared down the hallway, Castle left standing there, not daring to follow.

He did not see her tears, for they fell only after she'd turned the corner.

* * *

**A/N:** _*wince* Please don't kill me, please don't kill me! I promise I will make up for it, okay? *hides under desk* Just please don't send me death threats...instead maybe leave a review? *peeks out from hiding place*_


	33. Digging Through Debris

**A/N:** _I would like to take a second to tell you all how awesome you are. I got an overwhelming amount of reviews for the last chapter (most of them telling me to hurry up and fix this mess, or threatening me with sharp objects...) and I can't express how much that means to me! You made me grin like an idiot and skip across town all day and I blame you (yes, YOU, the person who's reading this right now!) entirely for my extraordinary mood this week! ;D_

_Nevertheless, I do have a life. That means updates within 24 hours are kind of impossible. I tried, but then I fell asleep on my keyboard. And I'm still not happy with this chapter, but I don't want to make you wait another day._

_So here goes. Enjoy! :D_

* * *

Kate Beckett didn't cry very often. She was a woman that could control herself, so when she appeared at Charlie Marx' place 15 minutes after she'd left the courthouse, her face was a perfect mask and her thoughts were on nothing except the police work that she was facing.

Mostly.

She was still angry, still mad and upset and heart-broken, but she pushed all of that to the side. The make-up on her face was fresh, her posture confident and professional. She wasn't going to let her personal developments interfere with her work.

Now was not the time and this was not the place to even consider dwelling on those 'personal developments'.

She knew that she was closing herself in, running from Castle - physically to hide and to avoid a confrontation with her own feelings, emotionally to protect herself from getting hurt. She was scared as hell, scared not of those paparazzi, per se, but of the persistent thought that maybe their accusations had been right. That Castle would lose interest in her, that she was just another one of his bimbos and once he got tired of her he would…

Thankfully, her wandering mind was interrupted by a distraught Charlie Marx, who ran towards her when she entered the hallway.

"Detective Beckett! These people here say they need to see my apartment to look for drugs!" he told her and gestured towards a group of men covered in white overalls, obviously upset by their being here. Beckett had called CSU on her drive over from the courthouse. She'd told them specifically not to enter until she arrived, but those tech geeks had never been particularly dutiful.

"I know my rights, I know they need a warrant and they don't have one, so I keep sending them away but they won't leave!" Charlie said and for some reason his mannerism reminded her a little of Castle…Oh damn, now she was thinking about that guy again…Urgh…

Beckett dangled the paper she was holding right in front of his eyes. "Now they do have a warrant, Mr. Marx. We're searching your apartment for drugs; The ones you helped get from the airport to the streets with your ex James Eagle, who conveniently drove a truck around town for living. Your friends at the Morning Sunshine Bakery helped distribute them."

Marx looked more than just a little dumbfounded. His eyes went wide with shock and she mentally counted the seconds of stunned silence until he would start denying everything. She got to 3.

"Drugs with…what bakery are you talking about? Distributing? And you think that I was…that James and I…wha…No! No, definitely, not! I would never…James would never touch drugs…I told you…No!" he spluttered but Beckett just walked past his shock-frozen face and entered his apartment.

She had barely put on her gloves when her phone rang from her coat pocket. Her first instinct was to ignore it, because it was quite possible that it was Castle, but then the police detective inside her took over and she pulled it out. A sigh of relief escaped her when she saw it was only Ryan.

"Hey Ryan" she answered the phone, but was surprised and slightly alarmed to hear Esposito's voice at the other end of the line.

"_Yo, Beckett."_

"Esposito? Why are you calling on Ryan's phone?" she queried and hoped that nothing had happened to her dear detectives.

"_The_ _battery of that stupid old thing died on me. Do ya think you could convince Castle into gettin' me one of them iPhones?_"

At the mention of Castle she had to swallow first, and thankfully Esposito talked on during that second of delay. "_We found mucho of nada at the airport, but we had a nice coffee with Castle's buddy Dan at the terminal Starbucks. Should we head…_"

Castle. There he was again, consuming her mind, her every thought, no matter how many times she tried to ban him. She stood in the middle of Charlie Marx' apartment, crime scene technicians bustling around her, rubber-clad fingers pressing her phone to her ear, pretending to listen to a conversation she couldn't pay attention to anymore. If one mention of his name could make her space out like that, she really must have it bad, she thought sourly.

"…_Beckett? What do you want us to do? We're kinda waiting for your answer here_."

She shook her head to get out of the trance she'd been in. "I'm sorry, Esposito, could you say it again, I had a rough night."

Oh crap, that probably came out wrong. That comment put together with the hickey he'd spotted this morning probably gave him the wrong impression. However accurate.

"_I asked whether you got the warrant and whether we should head over to the Bakery or not. Or did you and Castle get stuck in traffic and couldn't get to the courthouse yet_?" he asked, the cheeky grin imminent in his voice. She rolled her eyes even though he couldn't see it. He absolutely had to bring up Castle in every second sentence, didn't he?

"No, Castle and I did not get 'stuck in traffic'" she said dryly. "Have you asked the Starbucks staff whether they saw either Marx or Eagle Thursday morning?"

"_Ryan's at it right now…" _Then she heard someone else address Esposito and when he answered, his voice was muffled. He had probably covered the phone with his hand, but she could still understand what he was saying.

"_Yeah, two burgers, two small fries, a coke and a Mountain Dew…Right…"_

In Charlie Marx' apartment, Beckett cocked an eyebrow, hand on hip in an impatient pose for no one except Charlie's guppies to see. She pressed her fingers against the cold glass of their fish tank.

"Esposito? Are you doing what I think you're doing?"

"_At some point a cop's gotta eat, right? How are we supposed to work all day without some calories to burn?" _he explained himself and she could picture him gesturing around with his free hand.

"At least get a chicken wrap and water for me, too" she told him and watched a small fish examine her finger through the glass.

"_You want me to get something for Castle, too?"_

Oh crap, she hadn't considered that. The boys would ask about him, they would know that something was wrong. Castle always showed up, no matter what odd hour, even on Saturdays like today. There was no way they weren't going to notice that something was off. She drew her hand away from the guppies.

"No, he...uh…went home early today. He had, um, work to do."

Thankfully Esposito didn't question her, instead she heard him place her order.

"Okay, wrap it up over there and go check out the bakery. I'll be there shortly" she promised.

"_Sure thing._"

"And get a new battery for your phone!" she ordered and listened to his chuckle before she hung up.

"Detective Beckett?" someone called for her and she turned towards the voice. A CSU tech in a pristine overall held something out to her between gloved fingers.  
"We found something."

* * *

**A/N:** _HeHe. I didn't fix much, did I? I'm kind of mean like that. It's going to take another couple of chapters until Rick and Kate make up. Right now I'm debating whether I'll make it easy ('shut-up-and-kiss-me'-style) or hard ('we-need-to-talk-this-through'-style) for the two of them. What would YOU like to see?_

Entirely different thing, but important to me: My thoughts are with the Egyptian people right now. I feel incredibly happy for them that Mubarak stepped down, but I fear that this is far from over yet. The next weeks and months will be crucial. To everyone struggling anywhere in this world for freedom and democracy and a better future (especially in several Arabian countries right now) - don't give in, don't give up, keep believing in your abilities! There are so many people on this planet that support you. We will stand by you.


	34. A Mystery Aflame

**A/N:**_ One of you reviewers, tonya, said that she would give me a max of 4 chapters to settle this. I'm trying to make that deadline. And thanks very much for that review, tonya! You were not logged in, so I couldn't reply to your review!_

_Sooo, here's the next chapter! Interrogation time!_

_See for yourself, I hope you Enjoy!_

_

* * *

_When Beckett barged into Interrogation 2, her mind was set on breaking this guy and getting this case over with. The manila case file landed on the metal desk with a loud slap and her high-heeled foot kicked the chair to where she wanted it to be. It screeched painfully across the floor before she sat down, her eyes never leaving those of Charlie Marx. They were wide with fear and desperation, those of a man that knew what prison was like and never wanted to go there again. Well, he should have thought about that before kicking his boyfriend out of a flying helicopter…

"Have you been read your rights, Mr. Marx?" she barked. He flinched at her loud voice, but quickly recovered.

"Yes, but this is all just …"  
"Do you understand that you are under arrest?" she cut him off, and he started again.

"Yes, but this is all a big misunderstanding! Look, I can explain…"

"You can explain the 2 pounds of marijuana we found inside the case of your remote control helicopter in your apartment?" she questioned and raised her eyebrow at him. '_I can explain_' was right up the alley with '_This is not what it looks like_', probably the most heard sentences of her police career.

"I have no idea how they got there! I haven't even used that R/C helicopter in over a year!"

"Well, I don't think it would fly with 2 pounds of pot stuffed inside it!" she deadpanned and smacked the case file open. "You said you were in love with James. Then why did you let him get involved in your drug activities?"

"I didn't! I…I would never…I…"

His eyes shone with tears, so she kept pushing. "Did he tell you to stop? Did he want out of the deal, give you an ultimatum? Did you have to choose which one you loved the most, the drugs or your boyfriend?"

He was crying now, sobbing frantically, his hands fisted in his hair, his head hung low above the steel table.

"But you couldn't get away from the drugs, so he broke up with you. Only he still knew about the dealing and you needed him to get the pot from the airport to the streets, so you told him you wanted to talk and lured him to the hangar. But you couldn't convince him, so somehow you got him into the chopper and when he wasn't expecting it you pushed him out, almost 2000 feet from the ground!" she snapped.

Charlie had covered his ears with his hands and kept whipping his head from one side to the other. "No…no, no!" he kept stammering and Beckett sensed that he was close to breaking. "I loved him, I loved James, he was my everything!" he repeated like a mantra and she let him talk, hoping that he was going to say something stupid soon.

"I didn't even take drugs anymore, I was clean! James helped me, he…he helped me get my life…mmmy…my life back on track! I…I gave him aaa…all I had to give!" he stuttered. Beckett stood up abruptly and leaned close across the table that separated them.

"All you had to give were drugs and death!" she spat and he cringed and started sobbing again. His choked whimpers echoed from the walls until he lifted his head from his hands.

"I…I think I'd like to call a lawyer now" he sniveled and Beckett sighed in defeated annoyance.

Outside of the Interrogation room the Captain was waiting for her when she came out. "Don't you hate it when they know the rules?" he asked affectionately and she gave him a tired smile.

"My thoughts exactly" Esposito threw in from behind the Captain, who then turned to watch his other two detectives approach. Esposito opened his mouth to add something, but then held up a hand in excuse and sneezed his heart out.

"Bless you" both Beckett and Montgomery said as Detective Ryan simply patted his partner's back. The Captain showed compassion for his people, because he could only guess exactly how miserable they must be feeling.

They had just sat in Interrogation 1 for more than 60 minutes, trying to get a word out of Laurie Zaks. She had yet to confess to murdering her colleague and stuffing him into the baking oven, although lots of forensic evidence and the statement of her boss / boyfriend were piled against her. She had not uttered a single syllable in over an hour, while Ryan's back had killed him no matter whether he'd been sitting or standing, and Esposito had suffered through at least one coughing fit a minute.

They had confronted the 'Good Morning Sunshine' bakery employee with their newfound knowledge that no small amount of marijuana had been discovered mixed in with the flour and in several baked goods at the store. Apparently, 'Mr. Crisp's' cupcakes had been so addicting because they literally had been, the small amounts of drugs in the pastries leaving you with a feeling of joy that quickly had you craving more.

The question they had still to answer was whether Laurie Zaks and her boss knew about the drugs in their cupcakes or not, because if they had, the accidental shove into the oven might not have been that accidental - and charges could rise from manslaughter to first degree murder. Unfortunately for the detectives, Laurie seemed to know that as well and therefore had decided to not say anything at all.

"There's no use grilling either Marx or Zaks anymore" Captain Montgomery decided. "You have done your job; we have enough incriminating evidence to hold them both. Getting a confession will now be the DA's task, like it or not."

Beckett wouldn't give up so easily. "We still don't know how Marx lured Eagle into his helicopter, or how he got that thing out of the hangar and back without anyone noticing. We can hold him for the drugs, but not for the murder! Just because he's lawyering up, doesn't mean I can't break him anymore, Captain."

Montgomery slowly released a breath. "Beckett, I know you don't like closing a case without a full confession, but this is just a waste of time. This is not your task anymore."

Beckett's expression turned a little darker. "I called Eagle's parents a little earlier and told them to come here. I would like to be able to tell them why exactly their son has been killed, and I don't like to serve them lies" she said firmly and the Captain's gaze changed into a softer note, although his voice remained hard.

"Then go on and tell them what we know for a fact and what we think happened, based on hard evidence. You did not do less of a job just because the killers both do not have enough of a conscience to admit to their crimes!"

"Just spin a tale like Castle always does!" Ryan chimed happily, oblivious to the shadow that crossed Beckett's face and the subsequent glares both his captain and his partner shot him. "I bet if he was here, he could make up the perfect story about…Ouch!" he yowled when Esposito jabbed him in the ribs with his elbow. "What was that for?" he asked innocently and rubbed his side.

His partner shook his head incredulously. "Just…just shut up, man."

* * *

**A/N:** _Muhaahaa. I'm evil, right? Because I still haven't fixed anything between Castle and Beckett. I know, I know. *cringes* _

_You might think this is just another filler chapter, but at least they're done with the case now. Or at least that's what the Captain orders them to be. Coming next: Lanie and Kate in a talk that puts it all out there!_

_Also: Did you catch that little insider name I slipped into this chapter? No? I'll tell you next chapter if nobody catches it. ;)_

_I think you can put your pointy objects away now. The next chapter will bring you the first step towards salvation. ;D_


	35. Bursting

**A/N:** _Hello, dear reader. Ready for the next chapter?_

_In case you didn't get it, my 'secret insider name drop' in the last chapter was Laurie Zaks. She's an Executive Producer of the show. If you didn't know before, now you do! Congrats to Tycho77, I'm Widget and tvbmadness, who were the only ones that got it right! ;) _

_And FootyGirl thought it was R/C, which is funny, because it could actually be an allusion to Rick Castle, but I never saw it that way. XD  
_

_But now, please Enjoy._

* * *

"I always knew something like this was going to happen" white-haired Mr. Eagle uttered as he sat across from Beckett in the small room at the precinct that was reserved for notifications of family members.

"Excuse me sir?" Beckett asked, sure of what she'd heard, but unsure of how to take it.

"When a man…is with another man…doing things they shouldn't do…" the victim's father uncomfortably beat around the bush, "if you upset God like that, He's…bound to punish you at some point…"

Beckett was up and leaning towards him within a second. Her face hovered dangerously close to his when she addressed him. "Listen to me, sir! Your son died as a hero! If there is a God somewhere, your son will surely be in heaven now, because he was trying to do the right thing and had to pay with his life because he came across the wrong people!" she paused and tried to control her voice after the sudden outburst that surprised herself as much as the two people sitting across from her.

"He put himself in harm's way, trying to make this world a better place. It is sad to think that we live in a society where you can't be with the person you love; where your own father cannot accept you the way you are, even after you've been killed. You should be ashamed of yourself, sir!" she finished quietly and leaned back as abruptly as she'd leaned in. Her gaze flickered to Mrs. Eagle, who had accepted her son's sexuality when she'd been here on her own, but now had sat quietly beside her husband the entire time.

Beckett suddenly became aware of how rude she had been to the grieving family and had just opened her mouth to apologize for her behavior, when Mrs. Eagle started to speak up.

"Charlie has always been such a kind, well-mannered guy whenever I met him. I thought he really loved Jamie. I never thought he could do something like this to our son." Her voice broke a little and she snuffled, a handkerchief pressed to her nose.  
"Are you absolutely positive it was him?"

Beckett nodded her head. "We found definite evidence at his apartment; a cashmere pullover that we were able to match to some fibers from under James' fingernails and a larger amount of drugs that were connected to your son's death."

Mr. Eagle wanted to chime in, but his wife stopped him with a gentle touch to his shoulder. "Let it be, Marcus" she said softly. Then she looked at the detective again. "Did he confess?"

Beckett hated the fact that she had to shake her head no. "He claims he has never seen any of it, neither the sweater nor the drugs. He hired a lawyer and will probably plead innocent. The evidence and motive should be enough to convict him, though."

Mrs. Eagle nodded slowly, snuffling one last time before extending her arm to rest her hand on Beckett's wrist. "Thank you, detective. For everything."

* * *

For some reason, Beckett was glad that Castle hadn't been with her during that meeting with the Eagle's. She smiled wryly as she thought about the Nikki Heat insinuations that he would have surely come up with afterwards. He would probably be plotting to write a book about the murder of Nikki's gay best friend right about now.

On the other hand, she wished he had been there - just to be able see that adoring, appreciative look on his face when she had stood up for the dead man's right to self-fulfillment and respect.

"Beckett?" the Captain snapped her out of her reverie. She looked up and found him with his coat already draped over his arm, just a few feet away from her desk.

"Yes, sir?" she asked, wondering what he could want from her.

"It's Saturday afternoon. You closed a case today, two actually. Excellent work by the way."

"Thank you, sir."

"Now go home" he ordered.

"No, sir, I haven't finished the…"

"You know just as well as I do that the paperwork can wait, Beckett!" he cut her off. "You need to rest. So go home now and finish the reports on Monday."

She didn't answer, because she knew she had been defeated. She gave an almost imperceptible nod of her head. "As you wish, captain."

The captain's gaze warmed and softened. "Have a nice weekend, Beckett. Try to fix whatever happened between you and Castle. I need both of you back on track come Monday."

She didn't even bother to ask how he knew about her fight with Castle, but didn't hide her surprise. Montgomery simply smiled, said "Goodbye" and turned away.

"Goodbye" she echoed, still baffled and her mind racing a mile a minute, thinking about Castle and mildly awed by the captain's perceptiveness. A small wave of his hand was the only indication that he'd heard her as he made his way towards the elevators without turning back.

* * *

"Now listen, girl!" Lanie lectured her friend across the booth of the small diner where they were tucked into a dark corner.

"First you come to me and get all giggly-girly because you kissed him, then you let me dress you up for a date you were super excited about, you get yourself caught by some stupid paparazzi - and that's it? That's your reason for giving up on this?" she asked incredulously, but not pausing long enough to give Beckett a chance to respond.

"Kate, I know you. I know you don't do the one-night-stands and casual affairs. I know you care about him. Hell, you've been in denial about it way too long, I'm not going to let you get away with it anymore!" She slammed her hand onto the table so forcefully that their coffee almost spilled out of their cups.

"It's not an affair and I'm not giving up!" Beckett fired back. "It's just… He made pancakes for breakfast and then he made me stay in bed and I was so shocked I couldn't even really protest and he was all cute and …" she trailed off desperately and ran a hand through her already ruffled hair, her head filled with a wild confusion of feelings.

Lanie didn't understand her best friend anymore. "He made you pancakes and was cute…and that's a bad thing?"

"Yes!" Kate exclaimed. "Can't you see? Now he's going to expect me to do something nice for him, too, and think that we're in a relationship or something and I'm just not ready for that and…"

"You're scared" her friend stopped her rambling.

"What? No!"

"You're in love with him" she stated matter-of-factly. Beckett's mouth gaped open.

"I'm…I…No, I…"she stuttered, but Lanie simply smiled at her, so after a while she gave up. She let her forehead fall heavily into her palms and took a deep breath.

"I am" she admitted quietly and the ME placed an assuring hand on her arm and gave a light squeeze.

"Took you long enough."

Beckett took another breath and lifted her head. "God, what do I do now?"

"Although I am not God, I will give you an answer anyway" Lanie replied cheekily, but then her face turned serious and she clasped her friend's hand across the table. "Go for it."

"That's what you've been saying all along"

"But I never was as sure of it as I am right now."

Beckett looked deeply into the dark brown orbs of her friend and found the seriousness she had been searching for. Lanie sighed.

"At first I wanted you to go out with him because you needed some fun and he was a guy that could definitely give that to you. I believed in the Rick Castle playboy image that the media want us to believe in. Then, as time progressed, I saw your relentless bantering and I wanted you to have wild, crazy sex with him to at least get it out of your system."

Beckett blushed furiously at that blunt statement and Lanie gave a small chuckle. "No need to be ashamed of that, everyone needs some lovin' from time to time."

Beckett's blush didn't fade, images of last night's impromptu visit appearing before her inner eye, uncalled for.

Flashes of her body pressed between his and the door, his tongue hot on hers, his strong arms carrying her up the stairs, their naked flesh meeting at last. She could remember every instant almost painfully, the memory alone making her yearn for his touch.

Thankfully, Lanie either didn't notice her sudden discomfort, or didn't let on.

"Then I found out that Richard Castle was a lot nicer in real life than even he himself likes to admit. And now, now I want you to be with him because he's good for you, because he cares about you deeply and because I think you should give that guy a chance. Let him show you what you two could be like!" she insisted.

"I know what we could be like…" Beckett quietly admitted, her face downcast and her eyes thoughtful, but her mouth timidly smiling.

"Then let him prove to you that you could work!"

Beckett slowly looked up, her expression full of questions that only one person could attempt to answer, her mind buzzing with what-ifs and hopes and fears, stuck between what was, what is and what could be.

* * *

**A/N:** _I just realized I used 'God' a lot in this chapter. Don't be offended by it, please._

_Also, I think I sense an Alexis/Castle talk coming up! ;)_

_[Oh and have you seen Last Nail already? How awesome was that scene where Castle talks about his past? Nathan Fillion did an outstanding job.]  
[And Beckett's Russian slip cracked me up.]  
[And of course Ryan and Esposito were as delightful as ever ;)]_


	36. Source Of Fire

**A/N:**_ I wanted to give a huge thanks to my beta Tycho77 for being a huge help and a very inspiring and reassuring reader. Thank you for doing this for me. It truly means a lot!_

_To all you wonderful and awesome readers / reviewers: I know you missed Castle in the last chapters. So how about I treat you to two Castles?  
Ready for some Rick/Alexis action?_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

Six days, Rick thought as he poured himself another stiff drink and slumped back on his couch. It had only been six days since they had kissed for the first time. Given that they'd had almost three years of foreplay, it was no wonder they were moving so fast once that initial step had been taken. Once the line between partnership, friendship and something more had been blurred, there was no going back. So they had moved forward, in a breathtakingly fast pace.

Not even a week ago he had kissed Beckett in this very loft, suddenly turning her into Kate, finally seeing the woman behind the detective.

Their stolen kisses had eventually led to a sweet, adventurous date in the dark on Wednesday, their first official date after three years of denial and playful forth-and-back. The date had ended – much to his surprise, because he'd had no expectations about how their night would end, had not dared to hope for more and hadn't wanted to pressure her in any way – in complete and glorious ecstasy.

He'd already made the first mistake right after that – leaving her to wake up alone in the morning had not been clever, no matter how innocent his intentions had been. He should have woken her up before going to bail out his mother, but he hadn't and that had quickly backfired. The ever-present press had contributed to that, too.

He knew now that they should have talked about their budding romance and the nature of their relationship right away that morning. He should have assured her then, should have been there to work through the disaster of their faces on page 6 together, as a team. They were good when they were together. But he hadn't been there.

And now here they were, broken and apparently already over, despite having only barely started.

It tore him apart, knowing he had been so close and having to feel her slipping through his fingers, unreachable and far, far away, closed in behind the walls she had put up around her heart once again. He downed his drink with one large gulp, the liquid burning in his throat like the tears he couldn't quite swallow.

It was a marvel, really, that Kate hadn't been able to fight temptation and had ended up at his doorstep last night, teasing him with one last taste of heaven before it had all tumbled apart this morning. He smiled grimly into his empty glass as he mused about life's nasty sense of humor and timing.

Then Rick heard soft footsteps from the open staircase in the living room and realized that he had almost forgotten that his daughter was home. She stopped short when she spotted him on the couch and hastily plucked her iPod earphones from her ears. "Dad! Why are you home? What happened, is everything okay?" she asked fearfully as she quickly made her way over. "Have you been drinking?" she all but choked out, an incredulous look on her beautiful face. "It's only afternoon!"

"Everything's fine, sweetie. Don't worry."

She didn't buy it. "Did something happen to Kate?" Her fear and honest concern for the woman were evident in her high-pitched voice. He shook his head.

"Kate is fine, too. We just…had a fight, that's all."

She looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to elaborate. He sighed, because he knew that his daughter was entitled to know the full story.

"There were paparazzi again, they caught us by surprise in front of the courthouse. One could say that things didn't quite go as planned. Then she told me that's why she never wanted to be with me to begin with, because I make everything a mess."

He had to swallow in order to continue.

"She told me she thinks this…her and me…was the biggest mistake she ever made."

Alexis had sat down on the couch next to him as he had talked, and once he was done she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug, offering comfort.

"I'm so sorry, dad" she whispered, her voice almost as sad as his had sounded.

"She's not coming back, right? They ruined it, the press and the paparazzi. Now she's running…" her voice broke and now it was Rick who had to comfort her. His head could only silently agree to his smart daughter's wisdom, his heart wishing all the while that she was wrong just this once.

"Can I ask you something?" she said against his chest and he drew away a little to look at her.

"Anything, sweetie" he assured and tried a smile to convince her that things would be alright, but she noticed that it didn't quite reach his eyes. "You know I'll always be honest with you."

She paused for a moment in deep thought and then looked at him firmly. The blue of her eyes was a perfect reproduction of his own and its familiarity somehow calmed his tormented soul.

"Do you love Kate?"

He didn't have to think about that. The feeling had been swelling inside him for a long time now, even more so during this last emotional week. And although he had never said it aloud, he simply couldn't lie to his daughter, so she would be the first to hear it, now that she had asked.

"Yes, I do."

Alexis accepted his answer with a nod of her head that told him that she'd somehow expected that answer.

"Do you love her more than you loved mom?"

Rick breathed in deeply and looked her straight in the eyes. "Yes."  
It was that easy. He would die for Kate Beckett, take a bullet for her at any time. He would give everything to see her happy, even if that meant leaving her alone. He had never loved Meredith enough to consider giving his life to save hers.

Marrying her had been the right thing to do at the time, though. Her pregnancy had come unexpectedly and their wedding had been fast and hurried, like everything in their relationship. He hadn't taken his time to think things over, like he had done with Kate. He had already known Kate for as long as his entire relationship with Meredith had lasted, before he so much as kissed her.

So, yeah, he loved Kate more than he had ever loved Alexis' mom.

"Do you love her more than you loved Gina?" Alexis asked timidly and pulled the blanket from the back of the couch and wrapped it around her cold feet.

That question was as easily answered as the others. He had always been with Gina for the wrong reasons. He had married her to set a good example for Alexis. He'd wanted his daughter to have a constant figure in her life, one that would stay and that she could get used to. He hadn't had that privilege when he'd grown up and he knew from his own experience that young people sometimes wished they had a family with two parents, no matter how much they loved one of them.

When he'd gotten together with Gina the second time, it had been to get over Kate after losing her to Demming. Gina had merely been a distraction first, but as Kate had moved on from Demming to Motorcycle Boy Josh, he had thought that maybe 'ordinary with Gina' was as good as he was ever going to get. Of course, a relationship based on resignation wasn't going to go very far, so he'd broken it off with her once their fights had started to become about how much they were fighting.

"Yes, I love her more" he said firmly and his daughter accepted that answer as calmly as she'd accepted his previous ones.

"What about Kyra?" she asked and for the first time showed a real interest in his answer, as if she didn't know for sure that she was going to get the answer she expected from him.

"Kyra was different" Rick replied, because this time he felt the need to explain his feelings. "We were young and naïve, thought we would be together forever. It was a wonderful kind of love, a dreamy, surreal one. But I grew up."

He chuckled at his own words. "Well, at least a little bit. Enough to understand that a relationship needs more than just love. It's hard work sometimes. It takes trust and the ability to make compromises and lots of times it takes patience. I'm not very good at that last part, but I waited a long time to be with Kate. And yes, I think that means I love her more. Even more than I ever loved Kyra."

Alexis smiled at him and snuggled closer to his side. Then a thought crossed her mind and she lifted her head again. "Even more than you love me?"

He turned immediately and framed her face with his large hands. "No! I will always love you most. You know that."

She smiled again and covered his hands on her cheeks with her own and squeezed them. "I love you, too, dad."

Then she settled against his chest again. "You need to tell her."

He sighed, then shook his head. She couldn't see it, but felt the motion. "No, I can't. She'll run."

"Isn't she already running?"

Rick put his arms around his daughter. "I promise I will tell her when the time is right. But I think she's not ready for a bombshell like that, yet."

"What are you going to do to get her back, then?"

Rick squeezed her tighter. "I wish I knew, sweetie. I wish I knew."

* * *

**A/N:** _And that's a wrap for today. I guess the first part of this chapter is almost like a recap of my story so far, right?_

_What did you think of Alexis in this chapter? She's a very interesting, but challenging character to write..._


	37. Lighter Than Air

**A/N:** _Yes, I know. It kind of took me a little longer than I had intended to finish this chapter, but now here you have it. Because I know you're all anxious for the chapter, I will just let you read now. Enjoy!_

* * *

Rick barely slept at all that night. He spent most of it tossing and turning and trying hard not to think too much. His mind circled around Kate, around the important conclusion he'd come to concerning his feelings for her, around wondering whether or not she loved him back. He was imagining the ways she could possibly shoot him down, trying hard but failing to imagine his life without her, then imagining the ways she could literally get shot at her job, thinking about having to watch her die. Sometimes he really hated his ability to come up with believable scenarios of all kind.

When he was temporarily in a better, more hopeful mood, he was imagining all the different ways he could make love to her.  
In any case, he didn't sleep.

Usually he stayed in bed until well after 10 on Sundays, but today he got up at the crack of dawn, feeling that it was useless to stay in bed for a second more. He knew for a fact that he hadn't closed his eyes until 3am and wasn't entirely sure if he ever really slept after that.

By 7am he was done with breakfast and had already read the interesting parts of the paper. The funny thing was that, when he wasn't thinking about Kate, he was mulling over the case.

Something about it just didn't seem to fit, somehow his gut told him that it wasn't really solved yet. He had called an apparently very sick Esposito last night to find out about the newest developments and the arrest of Charlie Marx. Maybe it was because he hadn't been there during the last part of it, or maybe it was because Charlie hadn't confessed. Somehow he had the feeling that this wasn't over yet.

He thought he was going to explode if he kept pacing his loft, so he left a note for Alexis on the counter and went out for a run. A frosty mist hung low on the city and made his breath fog in front of him as he jogged through Central Park.

New York was not a pleasant place two weeks from Thanksgiving, but somehow the bad weather seemed to suit his mood. When he couldn't feel his ears anymore, he turned around and made his way back to the loft.

Rick stepped out of the steaming shower with renewed vigor and determination. He put on his favorite blue button-down for courage, kissed his daughter good-bye and hailed a cab.

When he finally stood before Kate's door, it was 9:30 and his resolve faltered a little. What if she wasn't even up yet? It was Sunday after all and they had just closed two cases. Well, actually she had closed them on her own. They hadn't talked at all since their fight at the courthouse and he couldn't help but wonder if she maybe never wanted to see him again.

Rick stood a good ten minutes in front of her door until he had gathered enough courage to risk getting his head ripped off.

Kate opened only seconds after his first knock. She didn't greet him and her eyes bore an unreadable expression, but she had definitely been awake for a while. The dark circles around her eyes made him wonder if she'd slept as little as he had. She wore sweatpants and a t-shirt and if he'd had to guess, he would say she'd spent the entire morning on her couch.

"We need to talk" he said softly, so not to spook her, and she graced him with a timid smile that lifted a heavy weight from his shoulders.

"You're such a girl sometimes, Castle."

After eyeing him for a second, she moved to the side and opened the door a little wider to let him into her apartment. "Have a seat" she said and motioned for him to sit down at the table. She remained standing, so that's what he did too. He stopped a couple of feet from her, determined to give her whatever space she needed. When he didn't move and didn't speak, mostly because he didn't know where to start and his mind had inexplicably gone blank, she sighed and turned towards the open kitchen isle that stood in the middle of the spacious living room. She settled against the counter and swallowed before she spoke, her gaze piercing, daring him to be honest with her. "Say what you've got to say."

He swallowed, trying to get around the big lump in his throat that suddenly hindered him from pouring his heart out. He tried to cut to the core and finally came up with what he wanted her to hear from him.

"I'm sorry" he said and waited for her to believe him. When she made no move, he tried to elaborate.

"I'm sorry for the things I said, because I didn't mean them. I was out of line."

Beckett looked straight into his eyes until she was absolutely sure that he was serious. After her talk with Lanie last night she'd promised herself that she'd be honest with Castle. So she took a step towards him, both literally and figuratively, and dared the leap.

"I'm sorry, too. I said things I shouldn't have said. They were mean and inappropriate."

He breathed out in relief, but she wasn't done yet. "I'm not taking all of it back, though. Yes, that fight was not fair and I didn't mean it when I said this was a mistake. But I meant it when I said it's not supposed to be this way."

His eyes flickered with something she couldn't quite place. "This is indeed a mess, you can't deny it. We can't go on like this" she finished. It was his turn to speak and once more he took his time to collect his thoughts.

"I know that I come with baggage. So do you. It doesn't mean we can never be in a working relationship with someone" he reasoned, forcing himself to use his strongest weapon - his words - to convince her. "It doesn't mean we're not entitled to happiness. I know I don't have the best track record and you're not exactly one to easily open up. We can't erase our pasts, but they also make us who we are right now. And who we are feels pretty damn good right about now. Don't let our pasts stand between us, and don't pretend that the press is really what this is all about, because it's not."

She had to admit that he was right. This wasn't about the press, not really anyway. His words were working their way into her mind, her heart already being so occupied by him that it could barely take in any more.

She wasn't trying to fight it anymore. He already had her heart. He could take it if he wanted it.

And he made it pretty clear that he did.

"I want to be with you. This isn't about the sex or the thrill of the chase, we are more than that. I want to wake up in the morning with you lying beside me, because it's the best way to wake up that I can imagine and I want to experience that every day. And not just occasionally when you were too tired to go home or simply haven't left yet after a night of mind-blowing sex. I want you to stay because you want to, because you want to wake up in my arms just as much as I want to wake up with you there."

His voice hitched a little when she stepped closer, then broke at the smoldering look in her eyes. He hoped dearly that it wasn't anger he saw and tried talking faster in order to get everything off his chest before she tore him to pieces.

"I want you to have breakfast with me and I want us to go into the precinct together, not sneak in like it's some forbidden thing. I want to be able to take you out on…on a date and kiss you… whenever I…because…"

He was stuttering now, unable to form coherent thoughts when she looked at him like that, still moving closer, just a breath away. When she lifted her hands to his shoulders, he was lost.

"I want…" he started again, but was cut off by her lips on his, soft and sweet, comforting him, reassuring him. She tasted just like he'd remembered, only better. More… real.

Entirely too early, she pulled away. Her hands had moved around his shoulders to his back and she kept them there, close.

"Does that mean I'm forgiven?" he whispered against her lips, hopeful glee written all over his face. She somehow managed to roll her eyes, even though her brain was functioning low on oxygen at the moment. Because she liked that feeling of weightlessness, she closed the distance between them once more and instantly felt him respond by gripping her hips and drawing her closer. She parted her lips, desperate to feel more of him, of that delicious burn that made her feel lighter than air, but he made no move to deepen the kiss. Instead, he pulled away a mere half inch.

"Can I call you my girlfriend now?" he asked and this time she lost her patience. Desire was so hot and burning inside her that she simply couldn't help it. Her hands moved around to the strong sides of his neck and she pressed her breasts against his chest, her breath liquid fire on his skin, her voice husky and erotic when she managed to speak. "Just shut up and kiss me."

He didn't need to be told twice. This time the kiss was open, fast and heady, heavy on the tongue and teeth and soon it wasn't enough. Because their entire bodies were pressed together from head to toe she could tell that he was just as aroused as she was, so she made quick work of the coat that he was still wearing and stepped back until her back hit the kitchen counter.

He swiftly picked her up and pushed her onto it, her legs clamping around his midriff immediately, the perfect contact drawing a low growl from him. His lips left hers to trail along her jaw line, lightly nipping at her chin, his hands everywhere at once.

Her strong legs squeezed his backside and held him so tight that their breathing was ragged and gasping within half a minute, their bodies so turned on that she could feel her dampness seeping through the fabric of her panties. His hands firmly caressed her thighs and her fingers grabbed and tore at his hair, eagerly craving more of him.

When a helpless whimper of a moan spilled from her throat and got swallowed by his wet mouth, he abruptly pulled away.

All of a sudden, she was back on the floor again and he was a couple feet away, his gaze on the floor as he tried to regain control over his trembling body. Confusion and frustration from his reaction and the sudden loss of contact were written all over her face when he looked back up and stepped close again. He rested his forehead against hers and nuzzled her nose. The sweetness of the gesture surprised her and confused her even more.

"I'm sorry" he whispered with a guilty smile. She kissed it away, sweet and slow now, a mesmerizing contrast against the desire still sizzling inside her.

"What for?" she asked against his lips and he pulled away a little.

"It was kind of my point to not do this right away" he said and gestured between them to clarify what he meant by 'this'.

"Oh" she managed, blushing. "Yeah."

He smiled and rubbed his nose against hers once more. "Yeah."

* * *

**A/N:** _Sooo, what do you think? Was it worth the wait, or not at all? Please tell me so that I can improve! Are you mad at me for cutting the smut or do you think that was a wise idea? As you can see I decided to go with Both the talking-it-through and the shut-up-and-kiss-me version, so are y'all satisfied now? _

_What would YOU like to see happen next? (It's not necessarily going to change anything, but I want to know anyway! XD And yes, at some point they'll have hot make-up sex. Just not now, okay?)_

_Just FYI: There are even fluffier, more emotional chapters coming up! This is not the end of it. This is just the appetizer, wait till you see what I have planned for dessert! :D_


	38. Ashes Of The Past

**A/N:** _I know, I know. I haven't updated in more than two weeks. You probably don't even remember what this story is about anymore.  
I'm really sorry for the lack of new chapters and the inconsistent posting. _

_I have been sick (unfortunately the kind of sick that doesn't really inspire you at all…) and very busy on top of that. Then I received a very wonderful review from Israel that motivated me so very much that I finally started writing again. Then my birthday arrived out of the blue and things got delayed again for a couple of days. Anyway, now I'm fine and happy and officially a year older and here's your new chapter._

_Enjoy!

* * *

_

Kate couldn't help but grin at their current position. Their faces were so close that his every breath washed over her skin as he tried to calm his buzzing body. Behind her, cooking utensils had been pushed to the far side of the counter in their hurried attempt to make room for their bodies on the surface. They were both physically aroused to a point that defeated logic, ready to do it like animals or horny teenagers right here in the middle of what served as her living room and kitchen. If she were any other girl, he would be buried inside her right now, but he wasn't because she meant more than any other girl ever had before. He was literally only one touch away from losing control, but he reigned himself in and she knew. She knew what it cost him and she knew what it meant. Somehow all of that made her grin.

"So…what now?" she asked and subconsciously sucked her lower lip behind her teeth. He thought it would be safer if he closed his eyes.

"Now we give it another try. We go on a date and I woo you like you deserve to be wooed" he said and opened his eyes to search for her reaction. She was still grinning, but lightly shook her head.

"I don't need to be wooed. I think you've already proven what you're capable of."

Now he was the one who shook his head. "Come on, humor me" he said, reached out and laced his fingers through hers, the gentle touch sending thrills down both their spines.

"Let me spend a ridiculous amount of money on you and take you on a date with me, okay? This time we'll do it right. This time, we'll restrain ourselves and pretend we haven't already had sex yet, okay? This is new. It may not feel that way all the time, but this is new, so we should take it slow. Please, Kate. Please"

And because he'd said please twice and looked at her with those big irresistible eyes, she simply couldn't say no. She didn't trust either of them enough to lean in for a kiss, so she simply nodded her head and whispered "Okay."

She tugged at his hand and silently led him to her couch. She left their fingers intertwined when they sat down, their sides brushing.

"Have you had breakfast yet?" she asked and he turned his head to meet her eyes.

"Yeah, I've been up a while. I couldn't sleep."

He was surprised when her gaze was nothing but honest. "Me neither."

He leaned in and touched his lips to hers. He had intended the kiss to be fleeting, but when her eyelids fluttered closed he applied a little more pressure and her lips parted. He brought his free hand up to cup her cheek. Her foot was making its way up his calf and her hand was clutching his shirt, but before things could get out of control he pulled away. Yet again, he left her wanting more. Her eyes swam with lust and emotion; they threatened to draw him in and pull him under once more. Because he was turning all mushy inside, he quickly changed the topic.

"Have you already punished Ryan and Esposito for betting on our private lives?"

She chuckled, her eyes still glowing from the inside out. "The universe took care of it for me."

His face lit up. "You believe in the powers of the 'verse?"

She rolled her eyes in her typical fashion. "If it wasn't that, it must have been Karma. Have you talked to Esposito recently?"

He laughed. "Oh yes. He must have caught it pretty bad. He sounded a little like Gollum when I called him last night. Is Ryan sick, too?"

She shook her head. "No, but he fell down a flight of stairs, remember? Don't you think that's enough for a week?"

"I guess what goes around comes around" he agreed. He paused in thought for a second. "Sometimes I feel as if those two are like secondary characters in a TV cop show. You know, the ones that always have to take all the crap."

She couldn't suppress her smirk, but bumped her shoulder against his in a sign that was supposed to show her affront. He gave an innocent shrug.

"We get to do all the fun stuff while they have to do the real police work and get beat up for it! Nothing bad ever happens to us" he tried to explain his declaration.

"Now that's a lie, we were just lucky this time! Just think of all the times we had to chase criminals down a street or were exposed to nuclear bombs…" she started.

"Or were abducted by secret agents…" he continued.

"Or got shot at…" she added, then backpedaled. "Well, actually Ryan and Esposito do get shot at just as much. They were also the ones that got tortured with ice water…"

Rick raised a finger up in the air. "But we were the ones who got stuck in a freezer!"  
He dropped his finger. "I guess you're right, though. We were lucky this time."  
Then the 10-year-old made an appearance. "But that also made this case kind of boring, don't you think? No bomb threats, no shootouts…We didn't even get to chase anybody!" he whined.

She rolled her eyes once again, but smiled. "Times like these remind me that you're actually nothing more than an annoying writer on a sugar rush..."

He faked a pout, but then suddenly turned serious. He lightly squeezed the hand he was still holding.  
"Will you tell me something?" he asked and she furrowed her brows.

"That depends…" she offered tentatively. He looked at her and she felt as if his soul lay bare before her, as if she could see right through his blue depths to the core of his being.  
He looked afraid, almost shy, and more vulnerable than she'd ever seen him.

"What do you think of my books?" he asked finally and now she could see hope in those blue orbs, too. The question took her by surprise and her resolve to be completely honest with him wavered for a second. She knew that he didn't ask out of arrogance. He genuinely wanted to know what she thought of his work. He wanted her approval.

"Of Nikki Heat or of your earlier work?" she asked, trying to find an easy way out, although not wanting to talk about either of the series. He quickly answered "Both" and thereby destroyed all her hopes of getting out of this without facing at least some of her feelings. She felt as though she'd done enough 'facing her feelings' in the last days to last her a lifetime, but apparently Rick had other plans in mind. She weighed the pros and cons in her head and finally decided to start with the Nikki Heat series.

She drew her long legs up under her body and they both turned so that they were facing each other. She cradled his hand in her lap.

"The Nikki Heat novels...I feel honored by them" she started. "What you wrote…it's like a tribute to the NYPD, to the 12th and everyone who works there. In all those months that you spent with us, you must have actually paid attention at a least every once in a while."

She smiled and he squeezed her hand. "Of course when it comes to our characters you exaggerated ruthlessly" she teased, "but the rest is quite accurate."

Kate took a deep breath. "It feels weird to read about Nikki and Rook when I know that you had me and you in mind when writing about them."

She didn't need to say that she was thinking especially of the sex scenes. He smiled warmly at her.

"When I was with Josh, it used to irritate and embarrass me to simply think about that. You and I hadn't even kissed yet, but there you were, writing all these intimate things about me. Fortunately for me, Josh was always too busy to read your books. I was really glad for that. I'm sure he would have viewed our relationship differently had he known about our fictional versions."

"Yeah I'm sure he wouldn't have appreciated that" Rick concurred.

Kate nodded. "You really skated on thin ice with all that romance. But ultimately, as a reader, I like the novels. And as the inspiration for the main character, I reluctantly approve."

He lifted his free hand to her face and gently brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm glad you like them" he said, ran his thumb along her jaw and dropped his hand.

"What about Derrick Storm?"

There it was. This time it wasn't just about her opinion – he was trying to find out how much of a fan she really was. Now was the time to open herself and her past up to him and make herself vulnerable. She was surprised to realize that she trusted him enough to do just that.

"He saved me" she confessed after bracing herself for a second. "I don't know if I would be here today if it weren't for Derrick Storm."  
She saw him suck in a breath. Rick silently asked her to continue.

"After my mum was murdered, I felt as if I were drowning. I couldn't let her go so I held on to everything that was hers, everything she meant to me. I found 'Gathering Storm' on her nightstand one evening and on a melancholy whim started reading it. I read till 4 in the morning. From then on I was hooked. Your books offered me hope during a time when I needed it the most and they made me crawl out of the rabbit hole that I had fallen into. In the Storm novels, the good guys always caught the bad guys, the victims always got their closure. I realized then that this was what I needed, that I would never truly be happy again until I had found who killed my mum and punished that person for what they'd done. Your books were essentially the reason I became a cop" she finished.

Rick was rendered speechless. He reached out for her, but she suddenly got up and walked to the other side of the room, where books were stacked in overflowing shelves and big piles on the floor. She grabbed one and returned to her place on the couch, but put a little distance between their bodies. When she held out the book to him, he could see that it was one of his novels, 'Storm Rising'.

"I went to one of your book signings once when I was just fresh out of Police Academy. Stood in line for over an hour."

He looked from the book to her eyes and back to the book. With calm, almost reverent motions he opened it to the dedication page.

_To Katie,_

_May your gorgeous green eyes see many beautiful things on this planet._

_Sincerely,  
Rick Castle_

He looked back up into her eyes, a somewhat sad expression on his face.

"I would really like to tell you that I remember this, but you know that I would be lying" he spoke softly.

When she replied, it wasn't in an accusing manner. "I expected that. I'm sure if you remembered, you would have bugged me about it by now."

He dared to place his hand on her knee. "You must know that it has nothing to do with you. I simply signed a lot of books and saw a lot of faces over the years. It doesn't mean your face isn't one to remember."

He swallowed and then the corners of his mouth tilted up in an honest smile. "In fact, your face is so beautiful and memorable that every night I see it in my dreams and every day I'm looking forward to laying eyes on you."

She reciprocated his smile and shifted closer to his body. "You can be pretty corny if your want to, Mister Castle" she said and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

"I'm sorry?" he offered, but she shook her head, rubbing their noses against each other.

"Don't be. Just don't turn it into a habit."

* * *

**A/N:** _Hopefully from now on, updates will be more regularly and frequent again. Don't expect a new chapter before Monday, though._

_I sincerely hope I haven't lost anyone due to my unannounced virtual disappearance._

_Thank you all so much for your constant support! You inspire me and motivate me every day. Without you, this would have never turned out the way it did. You have no idea how much it means to me just to know that there are people in all parts of this world reading my story and most of them apparently liking it. You are the best!  
_

Off-Topic: My thoughts and prayers go out to Japan and everyone affected by the quake, the tsunami, the nuclear meltdown or any of the consequences of this terrible disaster. As far as I am informed, you can donate 10$ to the Red Cross by texting "REDCROSS" to 90999 in the US or 30333 in Canada. Please help if you can!


	39. Reaching For The Stars

**A/N:** _Another week has passed without an update. Please address your letters of complaint to the bacteria that are currently flying all around Berlin._  
_I hope you are all staying healthy._

_Enjoy the chapter!_

* * *

"You aren't going to take me on a date at 11am on a Sunday, are you?" Kate asked after a while, her head comfortably leaning against his shoulder.

"Actually, Dan called last night. He's leaving for Florida this Tuesday. He got a job there, something cool with monkeys and NASA, you know."

Kate looked up at him, confused. "What does that have to do with our date?"

"Have you ever seen Manhattan from up in the air?" Rick asked and grinned when she didn't respond but only looked at him in fearful astonishment.

"Is that a no?"

She still couldn't form a reply.

"Because you know that Dan is a helicopter pilot and since he'll be leaving soon, he thought it would be a cool idea if…"

"Rick, this is too much. You don't have to do this…"

"I'm not! Dan is!" he replied eagerly, not wanting to believe that she could say no to such an interesting place for their date. The way his eyes were lit with hope made her smile despite her best intentions. This man was going to be the death of her.

"Rick" she started to argue, "we can't just…"

"Why not?" he interrupted? "It's for free! And don't tell me you've never dreamt of a helicopter ride!"

His excitement was buzzing like static waves through her apartment.

"It's not even good weather out!" she tried again, but when they turned to look out the windows, she had to find out that the early morning fog had lifted and the sky was now a crisp blue.

She leaned back into the couch cushions, her eyebrows knit and her teeth catching on her lower lip.

"Fine" she said after a while and he blinked in surprise. "I mean, why the hell not? We've had a long week, we decided to give this a shot, so why not go on the fanciest, most extravagant date that I could imagine?"

Rick's eyes were shining like a kid's on Christmas morning. "Actually, I could think of more extravagant dates, like for example if we were to fly to a private Caribbean island and…"

"Rick?" she interrupted. "Don't push your luck."

* * *

Rick hurried to open her door when they arrived at her car. Kate tried to stop him, but he insisted on this already being part of their date, therefore having the 'privilege of being chivalrous'. She laughed at him, but let him take her hand and 'help' her into the car anyway.

She turned on the radio and he twiddled with it for a while until her ears were burning. In the middle of an intersection, she cuffed his left hand to the car seat without even looking at him.

"Wow" was all he could manage at first. For a few minutes, the car was silent but for the quiet melody of the radio station.

"You could have just told me to stop" he said at last, a big cute pout on his face.

Kate Beckett snorted. An actual, pleasantly unfeminine snort.

"Oh how dumb of me! Of course you would have listened to that!" she mocked.

He had no answer to that, so they fell back into silence as she tried to concentrate on the traffic and he tried to escape the cuffs.

"_When I was younger  
I saw my daddy cry  
And curse at the wind…"_

Familiar words replaced the silence. It was Paramore's "The Only Exception" and the entire situation seemed oddly like a déjà vu. When they had last heard that song, stuck in a car together just like now, the tension had been so unbearable that, after what had seemed like a torturous eternity, Kate had turned off the radio.

Now she did the opposite – she reached out and turned up the volume. The song was about a girl that had stopped believing in love after she'd watched her family fall apart, but finally started to believe again once she had found the right boy. If Kate was being honest, she liked the song far more than she should, and could relate to that girl far better than she liked to admit.

She knew, that he knew, she hadn't turned off the radio the last time because she hadn't liked the song. She had turned it off because it reminded her of him, of them, and what they could be. And he knew.

She let the song fill every inch of the vehicle and waited for the comment that was surely going to come.

"_And that was the day that I promised  
I'd never sing of love  
If it does not exist_

_But darling,  
You are the only exception  
You are the only exception…"_

And sure as clockwork the comment came.

"Should I count the seconds until it's too much?" he tried to make light of it.

"Go ahead" she answered and he started counting as the song proceeded to knit an invisible bond between them. When the last notes faded and the commercials came on, he had lost count.

"Wow, detective. I wouldn't have thought that you could bear listening to such an emotional song. After all, it's about all these forbidden things like feelings and…"

"Yeah, well I'm trying to open up here a little, okay?"she threw in hastily before he could spell out the dangerous four letter word that neither of them had dared to say yet. She'd rather it didn't happen in a car on a New York Avenue, although that would oddly fit their relationship.

The bond that had been building between them throughout the song still hung in the air when they arrived at Rick's building. When they had tried to reach him earlier, Dan hadn't answered his phone. They had decided to wait it out at Rick's loft because he had wanted to pick up a couple of things there anyway.

He took her hand when they stepped into the elevator and she felt his pulse beating rapidly against her wrist. When Kate looked over at him, she found his eyes roaming her body, appreciating every inch of her and obviously letting his imagination run wild. When their eyes met, his were darkened with desire and gleaming with mischief. She blushed immediately, knowing what he was thinking of and what he was silently suggesting with his blistering look.

The aftermaths of their abruptly dismissed kitchen counter make out session were still coursing through her blood, making her body tingle, even hours later.

But deep down she knew that he had been right. Jumping each other now wouldn't solve any of their issues. If they wanted to make this work, they had to take a step back. He took a step forward instead, his hand trailing up her arm.

"No, Rick, no. Slow, remember?" she reasoned, but he stepped closer anyway and let his eyes wander again over her face, her hair, her long neck. A soft smile played around the edge of his mouth.

"I can be slow if you want to…" he suggested and she forced herself to refrain from reaching out and grabbing him. Part of her wanted desperately to throw all caution to the wind and let him have his way with her. Maybe also have her wicked way with him right there against the elevator wall with their clothes still half on and him deep and fast…

"Rick" she said when he reached out and his hand stopped mid-air. She had intended it to sound like a warning, but instead his name came out more like a helpless, aroused moan. He stopped his hand only because the sound had him hardened instantly and he knew that if he touched her now, he wouldn't be able to stop.

He knew that there were security cameras in the elevator and although that hadn't stopped them from making out once before, he knew that this time it couldn't happen. The last time they had been able to take their private party into his loft and finish what they had started, but this time Alexis was probably innocently doing her homework on the couch and he had no intention of scarring his little girl for life.

Thankfully the doors opened at that moment and they hastily turned away from each other, their breathing labored and concentrated despite barely even having touched.

They stepped out of the elevator and almost walked right into Dan.

"Oh, hi. What are you doing here?" Castle managed. Kate had enough brain function left to smile at the geeky friend.

"Hi! I was just about to call you!"

* * *

**A/N:** _I like to reference things that have happened in my own fan fiction, it gives me a sense of continuity. I realize though that since most of you probably also read one hundred other Castle fan fictions, you do not remember my story as well as I do. ;D_

_So in case you were wondering: The first time they listened to Paramore was in chapter 4: Heating Up. Go back and reread if you like ;)_  
_And the time they made out in Rick's elevator was in chapter 13: Beacon In The Night. That's actually one of my favorites. :D_

_I published those in Nov&Dec of 2010, so I don't expect you to remember..._

_Thank you for all the Happy-Birthday and Get-Well Wishes! You guys are so great! XOXO_


	40. Air Blast

**A/N:** _So guess what people. Unfortunately this will be the last update for about two weeks. I hope you'll still be around then. I believe in you. _

_I apologize for any kind of inconvenience but my life has been really busy and important and I really need a vacation. Maybe the south of France will revive my inspiration. ;)_

_This chapter just wouldn't come easily to me. It is the hardest chapter I had to write as of yet, mainly because it seems as if inspiration left me about two weeks ago and never returned. I feel terrible for always making you wait this long for an update, but I promise that in May I will have tons of time to write, so you will get really fast updates. Until then, they will be quite rare. Again – I'm sorry for that._

_At long last: Enjoy Chapter 40! (Oh god, 40 already…Time went by so quickly…)_

_**Case Summary**: I know you probably read a hundred other stories and it's been awhile since my last update, so here is what happened so far concerning the case parts, just in case you forgot:  
-They found a body burned to a crisp in a parking lot. Lanie said he had been baked in an oven. (I wrote this three months BEFORE the pizza war episode! See how plausible my story is? :D)  
-The bakery boss confessed that he helped his gf stuff his employee Mr. Harris into the oven after she had shoved him and he'd hit his head so hard that he 'accidentally' died. Case closed.  
-Another body was found smashed outside a tall building. Turned out James Eagle didn't jump but rather fell out of a helicopter. His ex-boyfriend Charlie Marx happens to know how to pilot one.  
-Weird drug traces on the victims connected the two cases (thanks to Lanie, again). Apparently that bakery's addictive yummy cupcakes were made with a special marihuana recipe.  
-Charlie still denied killing his ex-bf, even though lots of drugs were found hidden in his apartment and he has no alibi. Beckett locked him up.  
Remember now?_

* * *

Dan, Kate and Rick all looked at each other, awkwardly standing just outside the elevator. When the doors started to close with a whir, they were startled out of their daze.

"We tried to reach you but your phone must be off" Rick said at last, raising his eyebrows at Dan.  
"Oh! No it's probably still on, I just don't know where it is at the moment. I lose things, you know" Dan said and scratched his head.  
"Are you still up for that helicopter ride you offered?" Rick asked and Dan's eyes lit up.  
"Yes of course! Right now? Are you joining us, Miss Beckett?" Dan asked, his blue eyes alternating between Kate's and Rick's. She smiled genuinely at him and nodded her head.  
"Cool!" Dan exclaimed excitedly. "We can do it whenever you want to. I am ready when you are"

"Great! Just give me a second to get some stuff and we'll be ready to go." Rick beckoned both Kate and Dan to follow him as he made his way to the door, rummaging for his keys.  
"By the way, what did you want?" he asked and pulled out the keys with a victorious grin.  
"Excuse me?"  
"Well, you must have come here for a reason, right?" Rick pushed the door open and held it for them.  
"Oh, yeah. Right. I think I forgot. I forget things, you know" Dan said, turning to Kate and shrugging his shoulders in a dorky way of apologizing. When he stepped into Castle's loft, Kate couldn't suppress a grin. Judging by what she had seen so far of Rick's old friend, it was a miracle he found his own apartment at night, let alone remembered to breathe.

Twenty minutes later they were in Dan's old red car, stuck once more in stop-and-go traffic not far from LaGuardia.

"Long story short, Rick!" Kate gasped, interrupting Rick's story of his first high school date with Annie Bleaker.  
"Pst! Let me have my hero moment!" he cried out from the back seat and produced a seemingly irresistible pout. She rolled her eyes at him and turned back to the road in front of her to hide her amusement.

Dan chuckled beside her. "You want me to tell you what really happened? When Mr. Bleaker came up to him and asked about his intentions towards little Annie, Ricky got so scared he…"

"Dan! You are telling it all wrong! That is so not what happened! Kate, believe me, that man was…"

"Quiet in the cheap seats!" Kate shut him up, but she was laughing like she hadn't been in quite a while and had given up on trying to hide it. It was actually a lot more fun to listen to old Ricky Rodgers stories than she would ever admit. Especially when Dan and Rick were telling the same story from such different points of view that she couldn't tell who was telling the truth.

"What did Ricky do when he met Mr. Beckett?" Dan asked and stopped the car at a red light. "If I was the father of such a smart and beautiful young woman as you are, Miss, I would show whoever dared to look at her a special kind of hell" he smirked.

Kate had stopped blushing at Dan's compliments ten minutes into their conversation. He was barely saying anything that wasn't flattering or at least trying to be.

"_Ricky_" she said, drawing his name out to tease him, "hasn't actually met my father yet."

Rick poked his head out the gap between the front seats. "I was hoping I'd finally get to meet him at my Thanksgiving party" he said, watching Kate intently. "I would really like to invite him, get to know him" he told her, his eyes serious. Then he smirked. "Of course if I really must, I will invite you too, Detective."

Kate stammered slightly, surprised by his suggestion. "I…uhhh…we aren't in town. I'm…uh, I'm taking him on a trip next week."

Rick smiled unflinchingly. "I know. But a little birdie told me you don't actually leave until Sunday afternoon the weekend before Thanksgiving and luckily my party is next Saturday."  
"Ohhhh, I'd say you're out of excuses, Missy!" Dan happily chimed in.

"Uhh…" Shit. She hated the fact that Lanie couldn't keep anything to herself. She was going to have to talk to her about that, but it probably wasn't going to help. She knew that Rick was bribing Lanie with chocolate and table reservations at expensive restaurants.

"I'll think about it" Kate said and turned away again, thinking of a topic that would take her mind off the severity of Rick's proposition.  
Thankfully Dan chose that moment to finish the story of young Ricky and the intimidating Mr. Bleaker, oblivious to the importance of the conversation that had just occurred.

When they turned onto the private parking places some time later, Rick made an undistinguishable sound from the back seat.  
"Care to share with the class, Ricky?" Kate asked, one eyebrow delicately arched.  
"Ooh, do you remember how Mrs. Freeman always used to say that? Man, those were the days…" Dan began to reminisce.

Rick looked a little sheepish. "It's nothing."

"Come on, what is it? Were you imagining someone naked?" Dan wanted to know in his typical brazen-faced fashion.  
Kate slightly bit her lip to keep from laughing.

"Actually I just can't seem to stop thinking about our last case. Something doesn't feel right, but I don't know what it is" Rick confessed.

"I thought you guys caught the killer? Aren't you usually done with your work once you get the bad guy behind bars?" Dan asked as he eased into a parking spot marked 'employees'.

"Yeah, usually we stop there. But what if the real killer is still out there because we've got the wrong person? It's not like it never happened before. I just..." he stopped to find the right words once they had stepped out of the car. "Maybe it's wishful thinking, but I still have doubts that Charlie is our guy."

In the cold New York wind the small group swiftly made their way towards the big aircraft hangars and Kate snuggled deeper into her coat.  
"You might want to mark this down in your calendar, because it sure isn't going to happen again."

"What?" Rick questioned and Dan cocked his eyebrow.

"I think you're right."  
"Excuse me?"  
"I'm not repeating it, you heard me alright" Kate pressed out between clenched teeth.  
"Wow. This truly is a memorable day. Why do you think I'm right?" Rick wanted to know, getting into his crime-solving mode. Kate took a deep breath.

"When you keep asking questions, the story of a liar will change. I have found that the story of a person that tells the truth usually remains the same."  
"So you think it wasn't Charlie because his story was consistent?"  
"Basically, yes" she confessed. "I also don't think he would be capable of killing James Eagle. I have seen a lot during my time as a cop, so it isn't entirely impossible that Charlie is the killer..."  
"But your gut tells you he isn't" Rick finished her sentence, knowing all too well what she was talking about.

She trained her gaze on him and thought for a heartbeat, listening to what her 'gut' was telling her. She nodded. "I think he really was in love. And although I admit that people in love do crazy things sometimes, they are usually done in the spur of the moment. This crime was to well thought out to have happened by accident."

"Also, innocent people don't prepare alibis" Rick added. "Not having one doesn't make you guilty of anything; it just makes you more likely to be a suspect. Pinning down Charlie was easy. He was most likely to have motive, means and opportunity."

"What about the drugs, though? It's not as if we convicted Charlie on suspicion only. We had hard evidence piled against him" Kate queried as Dan unlocked the big metal door of a hangar and led them into the large building.  
"Having drugs stashed in your apartment isn't exactly hard evidence that you committed a murder. And besides, when exactly did the boss get out on bail?" Rick abruptly changed his approach, glancing around the large hall and admiring all the shiny technology of airplane parts. When he started to walk up to one of the shelves, Dan stopped him and pulled him towards his other side.

"Please don't touch anything" he advised and stopped in front of an elevator.

"The boss from the bakery?" Kate caught Rick's last train of thought. "You think he could have placed the cannabis at Charlie's apartment to frame him?"

"It might have been possible. But then again, that boss isn't exactly the brightest light in the room" he backpedaled.

"I don't think he even knew about the drugs in his own cupcakes" Kate agreed.  
"He denied all of the drug business, which was probably the smart thing to do..." Rick started  
"But I might actually be willing to believe him" Kate finished. "The first time he told us the story of how Mr. Harris got into his oven..."  
"...and got turned into a nice crispy ball of fire..." Rick threw in with a smirk. Kate rolled her eyes at his unnecessary comment.  
"...he never mentioned anything about drugs" she finished her sentence.  
"If I were him, I wouldn't have either" Rick said and smiled innocently at Dan, who had been listening intently, as they stepped into the elevator to get to the rooftop.

"Do you always work like this?" Dan asked, fascinated by their building theory, finishing each others sentences and thoughts.  
Kate and Rick both graced him with their enticing smiles. "Always" they replied at the same time. The three of them looked at each other and then burst out into laughter.

"Mesdames et Messieurs" Dan said with a horrible accent when they had arrived on the landing and takeoff platform, "I present: Your private helicopter for this lovely day!"

They stood right in front of a beautiful EC120, elegant and graceful despite the 2 tons of steel it was made of.  
"Wow" Kate breathed and touched her hand to the cold, smooth side of the aircraft.

"I need to get down to the garage again and get some things to take this beauty up in the air" Dan announced. Kate put her collar up against the cold November air.  
"If you want to, you can come with me" Dan offered. "See the assembly and repair unit, where the magic happens. It's warmer down there, too" he promised with a wink.  
Rick and Kate looked at each other. "Sure, why not?" she decided with a shrug of her shoulder and Dan led the way.

"If Eagle hadn't died and we hadn't found the same drug traces on both our vics, nobody would have ever found out about those drugged cupcakes…" Rick thought out loud as they walked around pricy helicopters and disassembled airplanes, his fingers trailing along the metal of a 'Superpuma' . He grinned at the name but drew his hand away from the copter when Dan shot him a look that said 'stop it or I'll throw you back out into the cold'.

"What was it that led us to Charlie in the first place?" Rick continued where he had left off.

"His mother, I think" Kate repeated. "We really just brought him in…"  
"…for routine questioning" Rick finished her sentence like so often. "And the only reason we dug deeper was…"

"…because he used to have a drug problem." Now it was her who finished his sentences. On the inside Kate was glad that they hadn't lost that part of their relationship to the tension of their budding romance. Then again, that tension had been there since the first day.

"Which he claimed had been solved since he started dating James" Rick brought her back to the present. "But then everything fit right into place…"  
"…because Charlie knows how to pilot a helicopter" Kate finished once more. They were both pretty sure now that Charlie wasn't their killer.

"As do thousands of other people" Rick concluded, sighing because they were once more out of suspects.

They thought in silence for a minute as Dan collected complicated-looking instruments and brought them back to the elevator to get them to their helicopter. He had long turned silent beside them, choosing to listen to their perfect teamwork and their quick minds working overtime.

Realization hit both Rick and Kate at the exact same time. Their eyes grew wide with shock, fear and surprise. Inaudible words, exchanged with a look and a tiny nod of Kate's head. The air of the small elevator was suddenly filled with an eerie silence, then ruptured by the quiet click of a gun's trigger being cocked. Castle and Beckett turned in slow motion towards the only other person in the confined space, their hands frozen to the side of their bodies when they looked squarely into the barrel of a 45. Their world slowed down, every passing second feeling like a minute, every movement viewed as if in slow motion.

Then everything happened at once. Beckett went for her service piece only to find it missing, Castle's hand disappeared inside his coat pocket and Dan took aim.

Something buzzed through the air.

A body went rigid, then collapsed.

The elevator doors opened with a surreal ping.

* * *

**A/N:** _Are you going to kill me for leaving you hanging like that? I hope not. It wouldn't be profitable since you would never find out what happens next if you kill me…_

_What did you think of this turn of events? Some of you (let's not mention names… *cough* For Example London777 *cough*) already figured it out beforehand, which really surprised me since I think I gave no hints at all. And most of you didn't want Charlie to be the killer and refused to believe it even when they locked him up. Well, I didn't want Charlie to be a killer, either. :D_

_One other thing: "Ignition" is almost over. Another 3-5 chapters at the most. It has been such a wonderful time and I have been so kindly welcomed by all of you, it really was a pleasure. But every good thing has to come to an end. _

_Alas, dear reader, do not fear! Although it seems inspiration has left concerning "Ignition", it is eager to provide me with ideas for a sequel! I have already written 5 chapters for the next installment of this exciting series! ;) It will come to your laptop or PC screens as soon as "Ignition" is finished…_


	41. Shine On

**A/N:** _Not that it's at all relevant, but my working title for that last chapter was "Curse you and your sudden but inevitable betrayal!"  
Just sayin'. Thought you might get a kick out of it. ;P_

_I hope you are all anxious to know what's going on, so I'll let you read the chapter now. Enjoy! _

* * *

Rick felt just like he had when they took his wisdom teeth out, as if he were under anesthetic. His blood was rushing loudly in his ears.  
Everything looked hazy, as if behind a curtain.

His hand fell limp to his side and he let the Taser slip through his fingers.

The clonk it made when it hit the floor echoed from the elevator walls. The sound shot through him like a lightning bolt.

Frozen on the spot, he watched as Kate leaned down and took the gun out of Dan's paralyzed hand. She kept it pointed at his hunched figure as she called for back-up with her free hand. "Dispatch, this is Detective Kate Beckett, badge number 0334. I'm calling from hangar D12 at LaGuardia airport, I need…"

Her words barely made it through to him, his own breathing too loud in his ears to make out what she was saying. He didn't care as long as he could hear her voice.

She was alive.

They were both alive and that was all that mattered.

The slumped body of the man that had once been his friend lay to his feet, but Rick couldn't find it in him to look down at him, so he turned around and walked away.

* * *

It was about an hour later when Kate found Rick, sitting on a bench in a corner of the hangar, eyes fixed to a grey spot on the wall. She hadn't even so much as looked at him since they had stepped out of that elevator. The cavalry had arrived soon after and taken their separate statements. She had gotten too caught up in answering redundant questions and closing the case to have a word with him.

There was so much she wanted to say.

She wanted to ask him when in god's name he had bought that Taser and why he had taken it with him to their helicopter date. She wanted to hug him and kiss him and breathe him in, making sure that he was indeed alive. She wanted to scream at him for almost getting killed, tell him to stop following her for his own good, ask him to never scare her like that again. She wanted to either send him home to his family or push him against the nearest wall to take all her anger and shock out on him. She wanted to see with her own eyes and feel with her own hands that he was still there, still breathing, still living.

She chose to do neither and talked about the case.

"I just spoke to the guys at lockup and they are releasing Charlie Marx right now."

It took him a second to respond and even when he did, he kept his eyes on the wall. "That's good" he said and she chose to leave it at that. She simply stood next to him, giving him as much time as he needed. It didn't surprise her when he spoke up a minute later.

"If you really think about it, the two murders had nothing to do with each other."

He could sense her narrowing her eyes even though he was still not looking at her.

"They dealt drugs together, wanted to bail out and got killed for it – I'd say they were very much connected" she challenged, deciding that arguing about the case was a lot safer than thinking about the mess of feelings inside her.

"Connected, yes. But one murder didn't trigger the other" he defended. "They were two separate events that just happened to occur in the same week."

Kate thought about it for a second. "Alright. I suppose if Lanie hadn't connected the drug traces, we would never have thought of that angle and never solved the case."  
She was silent for a beat. "And if we hadn't figured out who the real killer was, an innocent man would now be rotting in prison."

Rick did not respond, just sat there and stared into the distance, breathing and thinking, thinking and breathing. Kate sighed.

'And if it weren't for your Taser, we'd both be dead right now' she thought, but left it unsaid.

The detective that had taken her statement waved her a quick goodbye and she watched as the place slowly cleared out. A young officer approached her to send them out of the building. She was just about to ask for another minute when, much to her surprise, Rick got up and started for the door. He was gone so quickly that he had already hailed a cab when she reached the street.

She didn't know whether he would want her to join him or not, so she waited for a signal from him. The last time she had seen him so shocked and out of it was after the 3XK had escaped them.

He opened the cab door and just when Kate thought he hadn't even realized that she was standing there, he turned around and extended a hand.  
They were communicating without words as they so often did.

'_Please come with me'_ his eyes pleaded silently. '_I don't want to be alone._'

She took his hand and they slipped into the car together. He let go of it to close the door and when her eyes met his again, the blue orbs radiated gratitude. Before she could stop it she found herself mouthing '_Always._'

"Where'd ya like to go?" the taxi driver interrupted their little moment. Not breaking their gaze, Rick told him her address, searching for approval in her hazel eyes. She raised her eyebrow questioningly. _'Will you stay?_'

He took her hand again. '_If you let me._'

She linked their fingers together. '_Of course._'


	42. Bright Confessions

_**A/N:** This chapter is important to me. And essential for the Caskett relationship in this story and its soon following sequel. Especially the end part of this, but see for yourself. Enjoy!_

* * *

Once inside her apartment, Kate ditched her heels and hung her coat. When she turned to take his, he was absentmindedly staring at her, rather looking through her than at her. He looked so completely lost that she almost pitied him.

"Why don't you sit down on the couch while I look for something edible in the kitchen, hm?" she directed him like a child, taking his coat from his hands and hanging it next to hers. Rick obediently followed her orders and walked to her couch. Kate shook her head in resignation, not knowing whether to worry or laugh.

When she returned with a bowl of chips and a bottle of water after a minute, he had sat down and pulled out his phone. She assumed that he was texting his mother or Alexis and left him alone again to find some glasses and that bottle of vodka she was sure she had hidden somewhere… She found it in the back of her cupboard next to some stale cereals, grabbed the glasses and put them down on the coffee table in front of Rick. He had that sad look on his face again, not the puppy dog pout he did for show, but the despondent one he rarely showed.

"Are you alright?" she asked and gently touched his shoulder. He opened his mouth to tell her that he was fine but thought better of it. He shouldn't lie to her, especially not when she could tell that he was lying anyway.

"You have every right to be angry and sad, Rick" Kate told him softly. "He was your friend."

Rick shook his head. "No. He's not the person I thought he was. The Dan that deals drugs and kills people and pulls a gun at me is not the Dan I was friends with."

She could tell that there was more he wanted to say. She could see his mind reeling and running wild with doubts and fears and regrets. His eyes were staring into the distance once more, out of focus and still glazed with shock. She squeezed his shoulder to get his attention, but he didn't react.

"It's over now" she whispered. She could just as well have been talking to a wall.

"This is all my fault" he said quietly and trained his gaze at his thousand dollar shoes. When Kate put her hand under his chin and lifted his face, he blinked at her like a deer in headlights. The raw emotions in his eyes made her choke.

"What if something had happened?" he whispered and she let her hands fall limply to her sides.

"Nothing happened, Castle" she replied, returning to his last name to mentally put some distance between them. She wasn't ready for this talk yet. She could barely keep her own emotions at bay. Maybe it had been a bad idea to ask him up.

"You could have died!" he exclaimed, desperately and broken-hearted, his eyes wide and fearful and caring. She turned her head and blinked rapidly at the tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes.

"Yeah but I didn't, so it doesn't matter!" she gasped, annoyed at him for caring so much and annoyed at herself for getting overly emotional.

"But it does matter! Kate look at me" he said and rose from the couch. He cupped her face with both his hands, gently stroking her cheeks with his thumbs, forcing her to look at him. "It does matter" he said again and touched his lips to hers in a sweet and tender kiss. She knew that he was holding back on all the emotions that were raging through him like a maelstrom, but his tenderness took her breath away still.

"And it would have been my fault" he said when they parted.

She vehemently shook her head. "No, no, don't say that. If one of us is to blame, it's me! It is never your fault; it is my job that gets us into these situations."

Kate took a deep breath. It was now or never.

"I suppose you're right" she said, her voice shaky and raw with undisguised feeling. "It does matter, in a way. If I had died today, I would have left this world with regret."

Rick's eyebrows arched at that. Somehow he sensed that she wasn't talking about her mother's unsolved murder. He tried to read her eyes and found fear and hope in them. For a second he thought that he had caught a glimpse of something bigger, too. His heart beat quickened. Kate swallowed dryly.

"If I had died today, I wouldn't be able to stand here now and tell you that I love you" she whispered and for the second time that day, Rick's entire body seemed to freeze and his world stopped its turning. This he had not expected. He had wanted to tell her so many times, but had never dared to imagine that she'd be the one to say it first.

"Say it again" he said, barely a breath, and she shook her head, tears rimming her eyes. He brushed a tendril of her hair behind her ear. "I won't say it back unless you say it again. I want to know I didn't just dream this."

A single teardrop escaped her eye and trickled down her face.

"I love yo-" she started, but was cut off by his lips. Once more he took her breath away, kissing her with all he had until all she could do was hum and cling to him as if her life depended on it. He wrapped his arms around her and gripped her even closer, her feet almost in the air without her heels on.

When he pulled away, his eyes, like hers, were sparkling with tears.

"I love you, Katherine Beckett" he said with the most honest and bare voice she had ever heard. She tightened her fingers to fists around his lapels and then there was no stopping them.

* * *

_**A/N:** This would usually be the time when you're supposed to press that little button to leave me a review. Please? This chapter means a lot to me, I really wanted to get it right. Did you squeal in delight and say 'awww' or did you grimace and think 'yuck'? Did I succeed or do you have suggestions that might have improved it?_

_We're almost at the end of this. Updates should come fast now._

_I love you guys, all of you. Your support is amazing and means the world to me.  
Lina  
_


	43. Fireworks

_**A/N: **_**pkl**_ wrote that a big improvement of the last chapter would have been if I hadn't stopped it right there. I agree. Thank god I never intended to stop there, right?;D_

_This chapter is like a cheesy celebration of love. And Sex.  
Be warned, kiddos. This may start slow, but fasten your seatbelts anyway. You know an 'ecstatic' ending is inevitable. ;P_

* * *

Although they had done this before, something was different this time. Everything felt different, now that they looked into each other's eyes and knew that what they saw aside from the lust and passion was love. That knowledge changed everything.

Rick wanted to take things slow, wanted to enjoy every minute of this until they both couldn't take it anymore. He wanted neither of them to ever forget the first time they made love without holding anything back.

In luxuriously slow movements they peeled layer after layer of clothes from their bodies until they were only clad in their underwear. In the dim light of her bedroom, Rick was hovering above her, his hands placed to the sides of her head to support his weight. Her warm breath mingled with his.

They locked gazes and Rick searched for the love in Kate's enticing green depths, willing his blue ones to portray every single thing he was feeling at that moment. When he found what he'd been looking for he leaned down and brushed his lips against hers. Slowly, gently, almost shy. He didn't deepen the kiss. Instead he moved from her incredibly soft mouth to her jaw line, then down her neck and along her collarbone.

Kate impatiently moved against him, but he stopped her with a simple touch of his hand to her bare hip. She sighed in frustration, but gave in.

Rick trailed his lips down her arm, nipping and caressing, heating her supple skin while moving down her body to reach every inch of her.

He wanted to touch all of her, wanted to explore every detail of her body until she lost control. He flicked his tongue at the inside of her elbow and she thought that she'd never experienced anything more intimate. He shifted his weight to one arm and cradled her left wrist in his hand.

She gasped when he looked straight into her eyes and tasted the saltiness of her skin between her thumb and her pointer finger, the way he had imagined Rook doing it in 'Heat Wave' during the tequila scene. Her eyelids fluttered close but he kept looking at her face as he kissed every single finger, enjoying the expression of utter relaxation on her face.

He trailed open mouthed kisses up her arm and across her chest to the neglected arm, where he exerted the same ministrations. She sighed in delight and he smiled against her skin. He took one of her fingers into his hot mouth and she shivered. Her eyes opened and met his blue ones again. He swallowed at the intensity of the feelings he saw in them before she closed them again to revel in his touch.

He took his time to let his eyes travel up and down her body, trying to memorize every inch of her – the way her hair fanned out on the pillows, the magnificent glow of her face, the contrast of her black underwear against her milky skin, her soft curves beneath his firm body.

When his lips had satisfyingly taken care of the place where her neck met her shoulder, he used one hand to expertly free her of her bra. For a good while he concentrated on her breasts, first with his hands and then with his mouth. She raised her overly sensitive arms and placed them lightly on his back, stroking his skin in slow, languid patterns. His tongue encircled a taut peak while his right hand moved down to her waist and her grip tightened on his neck. He sucked once on her nipple and then pulled back, his hand stopping right above the barrier of her panties, and she groaned in frustration.

Her eyes blinked open when he made no move to continue. He waited until their gazes locked before whispering "You're beautiful".

She blushed and wriggled against his hand to force him to continue his trail down her body and after an initial second of refusal – simply for the sake of driving them both insane – he leaned closer to her skin again. She gasped in surprise when his wet tongue dipped into her navel, his upper body seated between her thighs. Both of his hands slipped under the waistband of her dark panties and slowly dragged them down her legs. Her arms slipped off his shoulders and lay weakly by her sides.

He leaned back to completely free her of the garment and then took both her ankles into his hands. He massaged her calves and then let the tips of his fingers ghost up her long legs in a synchronized movement, watching goose bumps break out everywhere he touched her. He kissed the inside of her thigh and she arched her body with tremulous anticipation.

He continued to caress and kiss her everywhere but where she needed him the most. When he made efforts to move further up her body and away from her heated, writhing middle, she groaned and stopped him with her hands, firmly holding his shoulders in place. He grinned at her like the Cheshire cat because he had no intentions of giving her what she wanted just yet.

She decided to switch tactics and instead of pushing his upper body away, pulled him towards her to capture his lips in a long, emotional kiss. When she felt his body relax in her arms she caught him off guard and flipped him so that their positions were switched and she was straddling him. She allowed herself to grind her hips once against his hard member through his boxers and took pleasure in the way his head snapped back into the pillows.

She gripped his shoulders and kissed the skin above his heart, her brown locks curtaining her face and tickling his chest. She moved down his body, her hands trailing down his strong arms and her teeth dragging at his nipple, eager to give him the pleasure that he had brought to her. The lower she kissed down his stomach, the tighter his muscles clenched beneath her lips. She let her tongue slip beneath the waistband of his boxers and one of his hands desperately gripped at the sheets while his other found his own forehead in a gesture of frustration and rapture.

He wondered whether taking it slow was really such a good idea after all, but then her fingers intertwined with his on the sheets and she looked up at him between strands of her ruffled hair. Her lips were rosy and swollen from his skin, her eyes shimmering with passion and love - and he remembered why this had to be special.

And although he had never expected himself to be capable of it, he stopped her when she took to ridding him of the last barrier between them. He cupped her chin when she looked at him questioningly and pulled her face to his for a sweet kiss. The movement aligned their middles again and her core writhed against him of its own volition. The blood in their veins pounded furiously, urging them on, but Rick kept one hand under her chin and the other firmly on her hip to stop her motions.

He lifted her effortlessly and rolled them over without breaking their kiss. She moaned when he sunk down on her and pressed her into the soft mattress. The sounds she produced vibrated inside of him and were almost too much for him to handle. She could see his muscles quivering in an effort to control himself.

His left arm was encircling her waist beneath their bodies as his free right hand trailed down the valley between her breasts and around the curves of her lithe body. He rubbed his thumb against her hipbone and moved his mouth from her lips to her chest.

Suddenly he turned his head and pressed his ear to her skin, needing to listen to the hard and steady thumping of her heart. It was racing so fast he feared she might collapse any minute, but the confirmation of being alive and the knowledge of being able to do this to her sent a thrilling rush of ecstasy through his body. He swept his thumb from her hipbone to the inside of her thigh and her heart jolted under his ear.

He looked up and saw himself reflected in her glassy eyes, as if they had captured him and held him intact, as if he might break if he looked away. He swallowed once, his Adam's apple bobbing, and murmured a throaty "I love you".

She blinked around the tears in her eyes and hoarsely answered "I love you, too".

A single drop spilled from her lashes and he craned his neck to kiss it away.

His fingers at the inside of her thigh finally moved where she wanted them to be and her eyes widened when he found her slick folds, wet with need and desire. She writhed and arched against him but he just very, very slowly brushed his thumb against her clit. Due to her sensitized nerves, first waves of pleasure already rolled through her from head to toe.

She cried out his name when he flicked her most sensitive spot once more and the orgasm shot through her like lightening, fast and hard. His fingers worked her through it and when she lay beneath him, panting and still twitching and oh so beautiful, his mouth found the beating pulse of her neck.

He removed his last piece of clothing and entered her before she had a chance to catch her breath. He hissed through clenched teeth at the tight feeling and lightly bit her skin. With the aftershocks of her bliss making her body tremble around his, he had to fight hard, but he stilled so that she could accommodate him.

When she hooked her ankles around his legs and pulled him even closer, he started a slow pace. Kate knew that he tried to hold out for her sake. He wanted to see her fall again, wanted to fall over that delicious edge together with her.

She sinfully clenched her inner muscles around him and lightly scratched his back and that was that – there was no stopping now, no holding back, no taking it slow.

Rick furiously pounded into her, setting a fast pace that she met thrust after thrust until he suddenly seemed to go deeper than before and knocked all breath from her, hitting just the right spot. Her walls shuddered around him and he lost his rhythm, sinking into her as they fell over the edge.

It took them some minutes to come back to earth and comprehend what had just happened. Their breathing was still ragged, their hearts were still thundering in their chests, but their faces showed utter satisfaction. Rick had collapsed on top of her and now slowly rolled to his side, anchoring her to him with both arms tightly locked around her sweaty body.

He kissed her forehead and attempted to brush her disheveled hair behind her ear. Kate let out a content hum and kissed his chest.

"That was extraordinary" she said softly and listened to the rumble of his chuckle beneath her ear.

"My thoughts exactly," he agreed and absently started tracing patterns on her bare back.

"You know I love you, right?" she murmured sleepily and he was sure that hearing those words from her would never cease to amaze him. Allowing the exhaustion of her day to take its toll, she snuggled deeper into his embrace and let her eyes fall shut.

"I'm starting to comprehend" Rick replied with a smile and closed his eyes to rest for a minute or two.

As he felt her breathing evening out, he tried to calm the thoughts that were racing through his head in pace and intensity that were usually reserved for murder investigations or last-minute script changes.

He couldn't quite grasp the importance of these new developments yet, but he knew for sure that things would never be the same.

* * *

**A/N:** _I know you wanted this. You know you wanted this. So, are you…ahem…satisfied...now? Review?_

_There is still an epilogue left, but basically this is it. Time for a sequel, yay!_


	44. Beaming Smiles

**A/N:** _Warning: This is cheesy. It's also the epilogue of this story. Read second author's note for info on the sequel._

_Also: You're awesome. This is for all of you. Enjoy! _

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The next morning came peacefully, no alarm clocks or crime scene calls disturbing their blissful bubble of rest. Despite it being a Monday, Kate didn't have to go into work due to yesterday's unexpected showdown. The Captain had given her time off until Wednesday and she had thankfully accepted. She could really use some rest.

Being exhausted and in need of a vacation did however not stop her from tensing when she woke up on top of a naked and peacefully dreaming Richard Castle.

Did last night really happen? Had she really told him that she loved him? Several times, of her own volition?

Something close to terror shot through her nerve cells. She thought back to the morning after the first time they'd had sex, when he had been gone without warning. She had felt cheap and angry and disappointed until she'd found his note on the bathroom mirror.

She didn't feel cheap now - she knew he wasn't going anywhere. That thought scared her even more though. He was here to stay. He was in it for the long haul. There was nowhere left to hide, no more pretending or denying.

This was everything she ever wanted, more than she could have dreamed of actually, and that scared the hell out of her.

She hadn't been this tense the last time she'd woken up in bed with him. It had been a different situation then, entirely different because those significant three words hadn't been spoken yet. That morning had been fun, almost careless – this one was important, meaningful.

Last night they had been riding an emotional high and things had looked rosy and almost simple. In the throes of passion, bathing in the joy of being alive, it had been easy to forget about the consequences.

Before she could freak out completely, Rick drew her closer, somehow sensing her agony in his sleep. His arms around her tightened and he made a content sound. Just like that, all tension fell away from her.

She sighed and laid her head back down on his chest.

He loved her.

A joyful smile made its way onto her face and she pressed it against his skin. Suddenly his hands on her back started to move, stroking slowly up and down in time with his breathing. Apparently he wasn't as asleep as she thought.

He didn't want to startle her or scare her away now that they've come this far, so he didn't quite know what to say. He wasn't able to see her face from this position and he really didn't want to do the wrong thing.

"Good morning" he tried, thinking this was probably safe territory. When she didn't answer, he thought that he had wrongfully assumed that she was awake or that she had fallen asleep again, but then her fingers curled around his upper arm.

"What happens now?" her quiet voice asked. His mind was going a mile a minute, trying to figure out what to say. She kissed his bare chest and he sighed.  
"Now we try to make it work" he said honestly.  
"That sounds so easy…" she murmured and he brought one hand up to brush through her hair.  
"It's not always going to be. This is big, for both of us. We're going to have to make adjustments and we're probably going to fight at some point. It happens."

She kissed his chest again and Rick understood that for now it was her way of telling him that she understood and accepted what he'd said. Maybe it would be better to put all cards on the table now that they were being honest with each other.

"We will have to deal with the press and the paparazzi."

She stiffened in his arms. "It will be okay" he tried to soothe her. "They will lose interest after a while. Maybe we should release a statement to calm them down, but we don't have to do anything if you don't want to. I don't like it either, I'm just saying that it's part of the baggage I come with."

She sighed, knowing there was nothing she could do about it. He was right; it was part of his baggage. She opened her mouth but he already knew what she was about to ask. "Alexis is also part of it, yes."

She lifted her head to look at him, worry slightly creasing her forehead.

"And she is completely fine with this, I promise" Rick added quickly, his heart soaring because she cared so much about his daughter.

"She wants this relationship to work out almost as much as I do. You can ask her for her approval if that will make you feel better, but I know she is over the moon" he told Kate, who smiled at him. He always knew what was going on in her head, she thought.

"Cool, right?" he said with a grin, as if he had heard that thought, too. They smiled silently at each other and something rose in him that he didn't want to suppress anymore.

He took a deep breath and prayed that he hadn't just dreamed what she had said to him last night.

"I love you" he said and held his breath.

"I love you, too" she replied without hesitation and he exhaled deeply. She craned her neck to kiss his lips. "And that's a good place to start, don't you think?"

He smiled even wider and kissed her again. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach and her face was glowing so brightly that it wouldn't have surprised her if she actually emitted light.

She had never experienced anything like this, but she hoped and trusted that with Rick, she would probably continue to feel like this for quite a while.

They had their whole life still in front of them.

-THE END-

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**A/N:** _If you are one of the 198 people that added this story to their favorites, I love you. If you are one of the 342 people that get alerts for this story, I love you. If you have ever reviewed this story, I love you so much there are no words for it. I am grateful that you have taken your precious time to leave me an impression and it means the world to me. If you have done none of these things but are reading this right now, I love you too. _

_To all my readers: You are the best. You keep me going. Yes, you right there. No, not your dog. Nope, not you either. __Yes, exactly, you!_

_FAN AWARDS OF AWESOMENESS:_

_Award for most reviews goes to: __**I'm Widget**__! 44 reviews for 44 chapters: You are truly amazing! You didn't miss a single chapter! WooHoo!_

_Honorable mentions: __**morethanamuse**__ (38), __**BellaPaige88**__ (35), __**Dee Hensley**__ (32), __**gmay**__ (31), __**BeckettNYPD**__ (28), __**Tempe4Booth**__ (24), __**Father Vengeance**__ (19), __**saci**__ (19), __**Warden18**__ (19), __**Minal**__ (17), __**madcloisfan**__ (15)**, **__**Tonya95**__ (14), __**pkl**__ (14), __**keal**__ (12), **livingtheshire** (10), **Space-Case7029** (10)  
_

_You guys have no idea how long it took me to count all that stuff. But you deserve to be honored! I am so thankful for all of the time you have spent on this and on letting me know that you are enjoying this as much as I am!_

_I remember you guys and what you wrote, I truly do. I remember who cried and who reached for ice water and who threatened me with sharp objects (I'm looking at you, pkl…) and it is such a pleasure to click on your profiles and read your stories whenever your reviews touch me so deeply that I just HAVE to know who you are. When I see how awesome you guys are as authors it means so much more to know that you like my story!_

_A HUGE THANKYOU goes out to my beta __**Tycho77**__, I would not know what to do without you! (Actually, I would keep writing without you, but the results wouldn't be as good ;P)  
Seriously, girl, you have done a lot for me and I am truly grateful. Tons of cyberspace hugs and chocolate and cookies to you!_

_This has been such a great experience! I enjoyed every second from beginning to start and I would miss it if it were to stop now, so here's what's going to happen:_

**SEQUEL:** It is not going to pick up right where this ended, but about 6 months later (with lots of flashbacks of what happened during that time…). I have already written lots of scenes, but I am open to any kind of ideas. If you wish to see something happen in the sequel, leave a review or PM me! It can be ANYTHING, from a quote to an image to a certain plot point – I will try my best to do it justice when I feel like it could fit into the story! Don't hesitate to spam me with things that you've always wanted to happen in a fan fiction – maybe I'll make your wishes come true! ;)

The sequel will also have lots of smut…a lot more than this fic.

I don't know what it will be called yet, but it will be definitely rated M, so keep an eye peeled for it or add me to your author alerts to make sure you don't miss it.

_You all have my deepest appreciation, dear readers.  
Love,_

_Lina_


	45. Crossroads  the sequel

_It's finally here. After what seems like forever, the sequel that I promised you has finally arrived. I really hope that at least some of you are still with me. :)_

_The sequel is called **"Crossroads"** and will be posted seperately, in the M section of course. I just wanted to make sure that everyone that still has Ignition on alerts will know about the sequel, so I posted the first chapter here.  
_

_Since this story turned semi-AU about halfway through season 3, Knockdown never happened. The kiss in the alley never happened. Knockout never happened. The Captain is still alive. BUT the bomb and the freezer happened. It doesn't make a lot of sense, but I don't care.  
_

_If you have read Ignition, you already know what you're getting yourself into. Now Enjoy!_

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**JANUARY 15****th**

Richard Castle was not a man that was easily scared. He wouldn't describe himself as an overly courageous hero, but he certainly had his moments. Normally it took major things like dirty bombs or serial killers to shake him up, but when Kate Beckett was staring at him the way she was right now, his heart was suddenly beating in his throat and his palms got sweaty. She was looking at him as if something was bothering her. As if he had done something wrong. As if she was tempted to run again, hide from this the way she used to.

It had been a normal evening for them; he had opened a bottle of her favorite wine as she had excused herself for the bathroom. With a heavy sigh he had settled down on his couch, wanting nothing more than to relax after the tiring case they had just closed. Kate had reappeared after a minute and sat down next to him. Somewhat unexpectedly she had avoided his eyes and remained silent for a minute.

He had given her whatever time she needed. Then their eyes had met and that look had been on her face.

He could deal with her when she was angry. Sad, even. He could also deal with all kinds of thoroughly pissed Kate, but he never knew what to say when she looked like she was about to run.

Rick swallowed thickly.

"What is it?" His voice sounded flimsy and weak even to his own ears.

"There's a toothbrush for me in your bathroom. And it's not the one you had left over that I had been using until now. You bought this one for me."

He felt a weird tingling in his stomach, an uncertain feeling of not knowing whether to feel excited or scared or both. He couldn't decide on which feeling to settle and figured that she probably couldn't either.

Her eyes were large, her fear badly disguised as she searched his face for questions and answers. Her toes were curling and uncurling on the carpet; she wasn't even hiding her nervousness.

"You have a drawer full of your stuff at my place," she whispered.

Rick's eyes widened and he couldn't help but move closer to her on the couch, their knees brushing. "Are we going too fast, do you want to take a step back?"

They had been together for almost 2 months now, which was both a long and a short time considering it had taken them 3 years to admit their feelings. The anniversary of Johanna Beckett's death had been last week and he had held her in his arms when she had broken down. Lanie had later told him that it had been the first time that Kate had ever let anyone else be with her on that particularly horrible day of every year. He had taken it as a positive sign, but had accepted a long time ago that when it came to Kate, a step forward could always be followed by two steps back.

She sighed. "No, it's just…"

"You're scared."

The moment it was out of his mouth he wanted to bite his tongue, but now it was too late. She gave an almost imperceptible nod.

"Of us? Of love?"

She looked down and fiddled with her father's watch.  
"I love you, you know that" she said softly, but didn't meet his gaze.

"Tell me what you're scared of and I'll let it disappear. I'm good at that," he said and dared to lightly touch her cheek and turn her face to his. Not because he didn't believe her, but because he needed her to believe him.

He thought he saw the hint of a smile, but it was a melancholy one, a smile so dark that his heart sped up. His hand fell away from her face and settled on her shoulder, his other on her thigh, right above her knee.

"This you won't let disappear" she told him, her gaze dropping once more, and he had to wet his lips before he could talk again.

"I'll try, I promise. Just say what's wrong and I'll try to fix it."

He'd been in enough failed relationships to know that moments like this could be crucial. He wasn't going to let this one slip through his fingers. His hand on her thigh found her fingers and he gently took her hands in his and drew her closer.  
"You know that we can do this at your pace. Tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it. I'll even throw away the toothbrush I bought for you if that'll make you feel better."

She smiled softly, a genuine smile this time, but then turned serious again. She lifted her head and looked straight into his concerned eyes.

"I feel like I belong."

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_...I am a tease, I know. Check out the rest of the chapter at "Crossroads" please. I don't know how to make links on here, sorry, but I'm sure you will be able to find it._

_Thank you for reading! :D_

_I'm really looking forward to hearing from my lovely readers again.  
Love,_

_Lina  
_


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